#1
I wrote this for my girlfriend. We're in a long distance relationship...

Lonely

Every thought that fills my head,
As I lie awake in bed,
Reminds me
Of you.
It’s only been days,
But it feels like years
Since the night
You disappeared.
You left me here,
All on my own,
But it wasn’t your fault,
I know, I know.

But I’m still lonely as hell
As I go through each day without you.
And though I tell you I’m fine, I am strong,
My life is really meant for two.
And so Angel,
I need you.

We used to talk
Every single day.
The miles are long
But our words shortened the way.
Joking and laughing,
And falling in love,
But now we’re apart
Because push came to shove.
And I’m all on my own,
With nobody around,
And I need you more than ever before,
I’m falling down.

Because, I’m still lonely as hell
As I go through each day without you.
And though I tell you I’m fine, I am strong,
My life is really meant for two.
And so Angel,
I need you.

Alone, so alone,
With my guitar and my thoughts.
Feeling kind of empty,
I sit here and rot.
The notes they flow through me
And make me feel alive,
But so does
The sharp blade of a knife.
I promised I’d be strong though,
And that’s a promise I’ll keep,
Cuz by keeping my word,
I feel you’re closer to me.

But I’m still lonely as hell
As I go through each day without you.
And though I tell you I’m fine, I am strong,
My life is really meant for two.
And so Angel,
I need you.

Although I still know,
Who I am when you’re not here,
I’d still give anything
To kiss you my Dear.
And so I will wait,
And every day,
As I think about you
So far away,
I think to myself,
Maybe you’re thinking of me too
Cuz in this situation,
That’s all I can do.

But I’m still lonely as hell
As I go through each day without you.
And though I tell you I’m fine, I am strong,
My life is really meant for two.
And so Angel,
I need you.
#2
Just wondering, is this accomponied by acoustics. In my opinion this song would sound beutiful if it is.
But your mind and heart are in the right place for writing such a meaningful song.
Good job done nicely
#5
This is trite, and has been done before thousands of times. We know how easy it is to miss someone, we've all done it. But what did YOU feel when missing her? What feelings were specific to you? That is what we want to know when writing.

Also, avoid using cliche words and phrases. This song is full of them.

But you convey your message, we can tell what you mean and what you're going through, so that's a start. Just practice, practice, practice.

Be well sir!
You take my place in the showdown, I observe with a pitiful eye. I'll humbly ask you forgiveness, a request well beyond you and I.
#6
Quote by Bag'ed
This is trite, and has been done before thousands of times. We know how easy it is to miss someone, we've all done it. But what did YOU feel when missing her? What feelings were specific to you? That is what we want to know when writing.

Also, avoid using cliche words and phrases. This song is full of them.

But you convey your message, we can tell what you mean and what you're going through, so that's a start. Just practice, practice, practice.

Be well sir!


Haha thanks a lot. I'm still in early stages of writing music/songs, so constructive criticism like that is very helpful.