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#1
It's the most influential and historically and culturally significant writing in the world. Have you read all of it?
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#2
Nope. I kinda tried to read it when I was a church-goer but I could never get far.
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#6
No, I tried but I was thought it was sloppy. I did think Matthew's Gospel was dope though.
#7
The characters are really one dimensional and morally confusing.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#8
I'm the only person I know in-the-flesh that has read it all the way through and isn't a professor or something. That's what you get for being a shy, chubby child with no friends!!
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#12
Nah. I tried reading it once but the old style of writing was just too grating.
Quote by MakinLattes
I'd kill you and wear your skin.
Quote by Siv During Livh
To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea,

Voted UG's worst cross dresser.
Also voted #95 on UG's Top 100 2013. Like it means anything....
#13
Quote by vintage x metal
I'm the only person I know in-the-flesh that has read it all the way through and isn't a professor or something. That's what you get for being a shy, chubby child with no friends!!

Children should not read it. It's full of incest and begats.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#17
I actually have.

Quote by willT08
Got through more of it than I did the Qur'an though


Shit writing, uneducated author 3/10 would not incite jihad
#18
Quote by blake1221
I actually have.
Shit writing, uneducated author 3/10 would not incite jihad

Basically. It has better characters though. Feels like it was a bit of a rip off though to be honest
#19
The characters were a little more fleshed out, but it continually relied on retcon and I am not about that.
#20
It's a heartwarming story, but it's just not believable.

Which is why I give The Bible, 1 & 1/2 Stars
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#21
Quote by WCPhils
It's a heartwarming story, but it's just not believable.

Which is why I give The Bible, 1 & 1/2 Stars


Don't forget the part where Lot's daughters get him drunk and fuck him in a cave to continue his legacy.
#23
Quote by blake1221
Don't forget the part where Lot's daughters get him drunk and fuck him in a cave to continue his legacy.

Like I said.....

heartwarming
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#24
Who's the dude who always complains that he shouldn't care about what happens to characters in films because they're dicks?

He'd have a whale of a time with the bible
#25
Quote by Jackal58
Children should not read it. It's full of incest and begats.

It was as juicy as those shitty romance novels my dad would end up with in his promotional book club packages. And those were pretty juicy. One of them described a man's package as a 'dark cob of corn pressed against my belly'.

.__.


Sounds pretty Bible-y.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#26
I remember trying a few times. I've read a lot of it.

I still like reading Revelations every now and then just for the brootal metulllllzzz
#27
I tried to read it but I just couldn't. Not for any ******ed anti-religious atheist bullshit. But just because it's written like a screen play and I just can't get into those. Never was able to even back in HS reading Shakespeare and shit.
#28
Quote by Rockford_rocks
I remember trying a few times. I've read a lot of it.

I still like reading Revelations every now and then just for the brootal metulllllzzz

A7X
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
I also have to do that. Cottaging this weekend
#29
I think as long as you cover the start and end you've got a decent taste. Frankly that whole Jesus bit gets a bit tedious, I much prefer the God's wrath parts
#30
Quote by willT08
I think as long as you cover the start and end you've got a decent taste. Frankly that whole Jesus bit gets a bit tedious, I much prefer the God's wrath parts


This is pretty much the only reason I used to read it

**** all that love and salvation and shit, I want to hear about God turning a small village into a wasteland of lepers because they liked buttsex or some shit
#31
Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Quote by H4T3BR33D3R
I also have to do that. Cottaging this weekend
#32
Not all of it, no. I do periodically reread the Book of Job though, IMHO one of the best pieces of literature available
My God, it's full of stars!
#33
Quote by Dreadnought
Not all of it, no. I do periodically reread the Book of Job though, IMHO one of the best pieces of literature available


There are some heavy bits of advice in that huge dialogue after the opening.
#34
Quote by Dreadnought
Not all of it, no. I do periodically reread the Book of Job though, IMHO one of the best pieces of literature available

+1, Book of Job is beautiful literature
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#35
I like the part when god sends two bears to kill 42 kids for calling someone a "baldhead"
#36
Quote by blake1221
There are some heavy bits of advice in that huge dialogue after the opening.


Yeah for sure, Book of Job is amazing.
My God, it's full of stars!
#37
No, not for lack of trying. I lost interest after Deuteronomy.

There are some great lines in it. "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!"
#39
I'm half way through, don't tell me how it ends!
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#40
Quote by Todd Hart
I'm half way through, don't tell me how it ends!


God damn it I was just about to make an ending joke


Edit: read a lot of the old testament. Got some great stories
Sail upon the open skies
Last edited by angusfan16 at Sep 2, 2013,
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