Page 1 of 2
#1
So my friend is asleep, and breathing, and showing no abnormalities, but it is literally impossible to wake him up. I yelled at him, I dropped his own arm on his stomach, I shook him, and he won't wake up. The only things I can think of that would cause this would be sleep paralysis or some form of narcolepsy. The postures too relaxed to be some kind of catatonic state, but he doesn't respond to anything... how can I wake him up, or is it best to just let him sleep?
#2
He's probably pretending to sleep while thinking in his mind "why the **** doesn't he leave me the **** alone ****in **** shit dammit ****"
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#4
be a white people and stick a carrot up his butt




#5
He eventually moved after I made him slap himself... so he's definitely okay. Now it's just a question of whether or not I draw on him or partake in other shenanigans. How does The Pit feel?
#6
Well. Sleep paralysis has been known to last for hours in some cases, so I wouldn't rule that out. Check his eyes for R.E.M.
#7
Quote by herby190
He eventually moved after I made him slap himself... so he's definitely okay. Now it's just a question of whether or not I draw on him or partake in other shenanigans. How does The Pit feel?

be a white people and stick a carrot up his butt




#9
is he drunk and passed out or whats going on here?
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#11
Quote by Joshua Garcia
Well. Sleep paralysis has been known to last for hours in some cases, so I wouldn't rule that out. Check his eyes for R.E.M.
He twitched when I tried opening his eyelid.... would he still be able to do that during sleep paralysis.
#12
Quote by Wiegenlied
is he drunk and passed out or whats going on here?
He smoked bud, but I'm pretty sure he hasn't drank all day... I've pretty much been with him all day... he's my roommate. We're at someone else's house though... so it seems I'm trapped here. How do I get revenge, Pit?


Quote by MinterMan22
be a white people and stick a carrot up his butt
P re-emptive no to the next one.
#13
Squeeze his Trapezius muscle on his shoulder hard, if he still doesn't wake up seriously consider calling an ambulance.

Did he open his eyes, yell at you? Did he only manage to get halfway to your hand? Did he kinda jerk?
#14
Quote by herby190
He twitched when I tried opening his eyelid.... would he still be able to do that during sleep paralysis.
Yes. Twitching of the eyes, toes, and fingers is normal. If he is in some hour long sleep paralysis and can do that, tell him to focus on that. It helps.

If not, try rubbing the rim of his anus with a carrot. Trust me, I'm a pro at this.
#15
Is the house on fire or something? If not let him sleep Christ. Go shove a carrot up your own ass, you don't need his assistance.
#16
Why are you guys assuming that it's something super rare like that. If someone doesn't wake up when you shake them and deliver pain it's pretty worrying.

Squeeze that Trapezius muscle.
Last edited by Mephaphil at Sep 5, 2013,
#17
I didn't assume anything. He asked and I instructed based on my own sleep paralysis experience.

And actually it might be likely considering all vitals are normal.
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Sep 5, 2013,
#19
That's fair enough. That was more directed at TS.

How do you know his vitals are normal? BP, Temperature haven't been taken as far as I know, and something that causes someone to not wake up wouldn't always be present until you have a CT scan, even then ICP can be high without a bleed. Pneumocephalus, Hydrocephalus etc.

While he might be asleep and a stubborn sleeper, the guy seemed worried, so I'm giving my professional advice based on what he's told me. I've worked in a Neurosurgical ICU for years (Nurse).

Which is: Wake him up, if he doesn't wake up, call an ambulance.
Last edited by Mephaphil at Sep 5, 2013,
#22
Quote by Joshua Garcia
So what you're saying is he needs a carrot up his butt?


You need a carrot up the butt.

I mean, want.
#23
Quote by whywefight
use the dildo
The trick to use the carrot as a dildo device.

Or maybe a cucumber.
#24
Quote by Joshua Garcia
The trick to use the carrot as a dildo device.

Or maybe a cucumber.

Yep. Leave the cucumber in for two minutes and if it's a pickle when when you pull it out, call 911.
^^The above is a Cryptic Metaphor^^


"To know the truth of history is to realize its ultimate myth and its inevitable ambiguity." Everything is made up and the facts don't matter.


MUSIC THEORY LINK
#25
As it has been suggested already, I'd go to squeeze the trapezoid, check the eyes for REM (Rapid Eye Movement, basically when you're in the deepest part of your sleep your eyes move around like sheeit yo),
(also check for abnormalities in pupil size, normal size should be 3 to 5 mm in width, too wide or too small -or worse different sizes-, call 911 or whatever the number for EMS is if you're not in the USA)
#27
seems to me like your friend is asleep

this would be a great time to cum on his face
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#28
Quote by Burgery
seems to me like your friend is asleep

this would be a great time to cum on his face


But the carrot must be inserted BEFORE this.

It's crucial to the ritual, for ****'s sake, do you guys not know ANYTHING?
#30
Throw water on his face. Ask your friends if you can first, because they might not like you getting their couch or bed wet.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#34
Quote by Mephaphil
Squeeze his Trapezius muscle on his shoulder hard, if he still doesn't wake up seriously consider calling an ambulance.


Then go to the circus and view a trapeze act... Maybe draw some trapezoids... Perhaps in your friends state, you can trap him with ease.
How do you make a signature? Is this a signature? Sig?.... Nature?..... Sigmund Freud?...... Nature Valley?.... Sigmund Fraud?..... Frankie Valli?.... ah, $!*@ it...
#35
you have to stimulate the area with the most nerves in his body in order to make sure everything is in order and he will be okay. its actually quite critical that you do this in order to potentially save his life. you are going to have to have to stimulate his anus with an object, preferably something like a carrot.
#36
Throw a bucket of water on him
'93 Gibson LP Studio (498T/490R)-Ebony
'14 Gibson LP Standard (JB/Jazz)-Ocean Water Perimeter
Epi MKH LP Custom-7 (SD Custom Shop JB-7)-Ebony
+More

Maxon od808|Boss NS-2|Boss CE-5|
Line6 G55|Korg Pitchblack Pro

JVM 210h|1960a(V30/G12t-75)
#37
Quote by Joshua Garcia
Well. Sleep paralysis has been known to last for hours in some cases, so I wouldn't rule that out. Check his eyes for R.E.M.

Doesn't sound like sleep paralysis to me - unless there's different types, and I've only had one type, but as far as I know and have experienced you are 'awake' in sleep paralysis, with your eyes open, you just can't physically move for a while and panic.

Also, I've never had it last longer than (I estimate) 30secs or so the first few times it happened, I can't imagine it lasting as long as a few hours Usually on the rare occasion it strikes, I focus as hard as I can on moving my fingers in one hand while remaining calm, and once I get the fingers to move enough... movement sort of washes over your body again and you're suddenly completely fine.

It shouldn't really last for hours though... correct me if I'm wrong, with wikipedia or something, but I thought it was caused by a chemical the brain produces/uses to prevent excessive movement while in deep sleep (so that, in evolutionary terms, we wouldn't fall out of trees we probably slept in to avoid certain predators/out of a cave/whatever our ancestors did that hasn't been contradicted by us enough for the process to leave our sleeping habits) that usually clears up as you wake up, but sometimes remains longer than required.
Hey, look. Sigs are back.
#38
Well the first thing you should do is come to the Pit for medical advice.


It's not like there's anyone you could call or something
#39
Jizz on a chicken and put it next to him and then toss him off until he jizzes on an egg and put that next to the chicken.

Then when he wakes up ask "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?"
'And after a while, you can work on points for style.
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake,
A certain look in the eye and an easy smile.'

'You have to be trusted by the people that you lie to,
So that when they turn their backs on you,
You'll get the chance to put the knife in.'
Page 1 of 2