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#1
My wife went in for her ultrasound, I'm having a daughter!
"Any statement beginning with the words 'In truth' is almost always a lie."

The Legion
#10
Congratulations, man! Better start practicing your "Stay the hell away from my daughter" glare.
#13
Quote by Bazz22
Congratulations, man! Better start practicing your "Stay the hell away from my daughter" glare.


It's 'practising' not 'practicing'. Practise - verb, practice - noun.
#15
Congratulations, you're going to lose a lot of money, but hey, you'll have an annoying baby to make your life a misery for years.
#17
Cool, it's good you're happy about it
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#21
Now you have to go shopping and shit. Drop her off and pick her up at gymnastics/dance class. A pay for soooooo much crap. Get ready for the stress, the pain, and the harsh realities of raising a daughter. Son's are ****ing easy. Give em a guitar and videogames and you're set
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#23
Quote by k.lainad
Now you have to go shopping and shit. Drop her off and pick her up at gymnastics/dance class. A pay for soooooo much crap. Get ready for the stress, the pain, and the harsh realities of raising a daughter. Son's are ****ing easy. Give em a guitar and videogames and you're set

You must really love kids.
#24
Quote by k.lainad
Now you have to go shopping and shit. Drop her off and pick her up at gymnastics/dance class. A pay for soooooo much crap. Get ready for the stress, the pain, and the harsh realities of raising a daughter. Son's are ****ing easy. Give em a guitar and videogames and you're set

Give em a guitar and videogames and they will still be living with you when they're 28 and have no job
🙈 🙉 🙊
#26
Quote by k.lainad
Now you have to go shopping and shit. Drop her off and pick her up at gymnastics/dance class. A pay for soooooo much crap. Get ready for the stress, the pain, and the harsh realities of raising a daughter. Son's are ****ing easy. Give em a guitar and videogames and you're set


Unless the kid likes football, then you have to stand around in the rain for hours every weekend making awkward small talk with all the other parents.


Also, please learn how to use an apostrophe.
#27
Well congratulations TS

How does something like Twilight Sparkle Yekim sound to you?
Name's Luca.

Quote by OliOsbourne
I don't know anything about this topic, but I just clicked on this thread because of your username :O
Quote by Cajundaddy
Clue: amplifiers amplify so don't turn it on if you need quiet.
Quote by chrismendiola
I guess spambots are now capable of reading minds.
#28
Quote by Spambot_2
Well congratulations TS

How does something like Twilight Sparkle Yekim sound to you?


Idk, I'll have to hear some more names before I make the final decision
#29
Your face:
What my face would've been:
So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world.
~Jack Layton 1950-2011
#30
Are you sure it's yours ?

Edit: Just joking, but I realize I still sound like a colossal c*nt saying it
#31
congrats
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#33
Quote by lemmyisgod97
Are you sure it's yours ?

Edit: Just joking, but I realize I still sound like a colossal c*nt saying it


There's not supposed to be a space between a word and the following exclamation/question mark. You have misspelled 'realise'. Yes, you do sound like a colossal ****.
#34
Quote by Jonagorn
There's not supposed to be a space between a word and the following exclamation/question mark. You have misspelled 'realise'. Yes, you do sound like a colossal ****.

#35
Quote by Jonagorn
There's not supposed to be a space between a word and the following exclamation/question mark. You have misspelled 'realise'. Yes, you do sound like a colossal ****.

For some reason that little red line comes up under when I spell it "realise", not sure why if it's correct.
#37
Quote by entity0009
Give em a guitar and videogames and they will still be living with you when they're 29 and have no job

ftfy.


Congrats dude.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#39
Buy a shotgun, engrave her name in it. When she starts dating: "both my girls are virgins, let's keep it that way."
Quote by CodChick


Seriously, I'm not a fan of iphones and guitars mixing.
#40
Quote by WCPhils

inb4 angst and edge

looks like you were a few seconds too late
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
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