#1
Do you shake hands hard or softly? Do you do the "grab the other persons fingers and curl" handshake? Do you fist bump? Do you do the "grab the persons thumb, then slide into a handshake? or the "grab the persons thumb/hand and do that half hug thing?

Me? I'm a fistbump guy with my friends, hand shaker (a hard gripper, too) in formal settings, and handshake/hugger with really close friends/family.
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There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

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^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

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Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


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#2
I like to grab my penis and shake in informal situations.
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~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#4
In formal situations or occasionally when meeting new people I shake hands. Apart from that, nah.
West Ham United
#5
i do the thug half hug thing most of the time because all of my friends give the most limp wristed "normal" handshakes in the universe.

edit: oh that just said half hug not thug
#6
I use my hand? Though, I do have a rather firm hand shake.
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#7
i grab my opponents balls in a fierce grip and stare them deep in the eyes until their curl up in a ball on the ground at which point i let out a terrifying roar. at this point i usually kick them in the back on the head and have my way with them, eventually cumming hard on their tits before shitting in their mouth
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On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#8
Am I the only one who finds handshake/hug combo to be the most awkwardly white thing ever?
🙈 🙉 🙊
#9
Quote by Burgery
i grab my opponents balls in a fierce grip and stare them deep in the eyes until their curl up in a ball on the ground at which point i let out a terrifying roar. at this point i usually kick them in the back on the head and have my way with them, eventually cumming hard on their tits before shitting in their mouth




Are your opponents your employers by any chance?
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#10
Quote by k.lainad


Are your opponents your employers by any chance?

it may not surprise you that i no longer have a job
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#11
Quote by Burgery
it may not surprise you that i no longer have a job

Join the 7 String Legion!

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

Messiaen is Magical


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#13
Firm grip, double pump, eye contact, one sided closed mouth smile, stern eyebrows, and right shoulder dipped slightly towards your hand-shaking partner.

Now you're a millionaire.
#14
Quote by Joshua Garcia
Secret handshake.

Hands aren't used for this handshake.


So you use your man titties?
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#17
Quote by Rossenrot
Firm grip, double pump, eye contact, one sided closed mouth smile, stern eyebrows, and right shoulder dipped slightly towards your hand-shaking partner.

Now you're a millionaire.


Reminds me of Robin Williams when he played a pirate in Hook
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#19
I grip firmly if it's formal but if it's just like a friend coming up and laughing about it it's pretty limp and I don't care
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#20
Quote by Colgate Total


This. How could i forget THIS.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#21
I'll size up and shake accordingly, but it's always firm. Unless some douche comes up and tries to shake my hand like a princess, and usually grabs my hand like he's about to royal kiss it. All handshakes should by full on palm. Never extend beyond the wristbone, never before the first knuckle.

(yes I get offended by poor handshakesmanship(
╘MESHUG╦G╗AH





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#23
Quote by Burgery
i grab my opponents balls in a fierce grip and stare them deep in the eyes until their curl up in a ball on the ground at which point i let out a terrifying roar. at this point i usually kick them in the back on the head and have my way with them, eventually cumming hard on their tits before shitting in their mouth

this post makes me miss ometh
#24
I aim to hit the thumb webbing with mine and close a firm handshake with a double pump in formal situations. Fist bump with work folk, accompanied by a "touch me bitch" from me or them. Nothing with good friends - wait, usually a cheers, if they don't have a beer I promptly get them one.
Uncle aciD

&

The deadbeatS


Do What Your Love Tells You
#25
I like to do that thing where you gently rub their palm with your middle finger during the shake.
#26
Quote by whywefight
Like a man


in a constant effort to reject trivial things done on the basis of manliness, i rarely shake hands.
#28
I grip their hand as they grip mine and I flex my forearm, making the firmness of the shake perfect.
#29
Depends how well I know someone. If I'm just meeting them I give a firm handshake, if my relationship with the person isn't "formal" but is just that way... I keep a regular handshake. Sometimes I'll do the fun ones with close friends.

High fives, otherwise!
#30
I always shake firmly, but the strength of the grip varies depending on the person. If it's a woman, my handshake is firm, but without such a hard grip. If it is a man, it's firm with a moderate grip. I can't stand it when someone gives me a limp hand.
#31
if the guy seems overeager, i let the fool lead in terms of firmness, and i offer enough resistance to not appear like a wimp while i secretly chuckle at the extra energy he's pointlessly expending on me.
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Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
#32
Quote by vIsIbleNoIsE
if the guy seems overeager, i let the fool lead in terms of firmness, and i offer enough resistance to not appear like a wimp while i secretly chuckle at the extra energy he's pointlessly expending on me.


You devious, little bastard, I like you
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#33
Quote by vIsIbleNoIsE
if the guy seems overeager, i let the fool lead in terms of firmness, and i offer enough resistance to not appear like a wimp while i secretly chuckle at the extra energy he's pointlessly expending on me.

Smart man.
Join the 7 String Legion!

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

Messiaen is Magical


Official Approval
This message has been approved by:

Mister A.J.
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Mister A.J.
#35
Little story.

In Brooklyn everyone would do the lean in hug handshake and that's what I was used to. When I moved to Arizona, everyone would do the slide handshake fist bump combination. Whenever I shook hands with someone I would never lean in, it was just formal, but everyone would always expect the fist bump after the handshake from me, but i'd never do it.

It ended up leaving a lot of people I shook hands with confused about my handshakes. Now I slap hand fist bump so everyone is happy.

The End.

LOL. I handshaked with a guy from Atlanta 2 weeks ago and shook his hand and he was ready to pull me in for the lean in, but I pulled back out for the fistbump and I bumped his loose hand and he wiggled his hand awkwardly and I lol'd.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#36
New people (in non freshers like situation): Handshake
New people in en mass situation: Hi!!!!!!
Formal: Firm handshake, place index and middle finger along the inside of their wrist. They can squeeze as hard as they want then but your knuckles are in a line and you won't feel a thing.

Time on earth is like butterscotch; you really want more, even though it will probably just make you ill.



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#38
I naturally have very girly/thin/weak wrists, despite playing guitar and lifting. I make sure to have a very firm hand shake though, because no one likes shaking hands with some jelly armed c*nt.

If you try and shake my hand for more than 3 seconds, I go limp wristed and will stare down at you (6'3"), because after 3 seconds, you're just playing with my hand.
"I think, as a musician, you should practice your technique to be as good as you need to be to facilitate whatever ideas come into your head."
- Devin Townsend