#1
New song! Sort of. I always take so long that it feels old by the time I finish. And I'm still not finished (missing drums, vocals, and a guitar solo at 4:42), but I wanted some early feedback.

I'm trying to write a concept album influenced by Thus Spoke Zarathustra (the book, not the symphony!) - this is the song where the hermit/protagonist makes it up to the mountain's peak and decides what he will do with his life.

This was my first time doubling each of the left and right guitars - ended up with some kind of unsettling chorus effect but it seemed okay with all the other instruments. Also my first recording with a real bass played by me!

Thanks for listening. Leave a link if you want a C4C for a particular piece.

https://soundcloud.com/visiblenoise-2/a-new-world-1

*update! added drums and tweaked the mix a bit.
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
Last edited by vIsIbleNoIsE at Nov 19, 2013,
#2
Writing as I listen:

Nice clean intro, jazzy chords. I love the chord at 00:20. Is the melody after supposed to a vocal melody? Good buildup but it leads to the rhythm guitars which sound very weak and odd.. I think building up to an acoustic guitar tremolo picking would be more suited? But dunno what you're going for with this since the drums aren't there yet. I like the lead at 2:45, nice bluesy rock/jazz mix. I think the breakdown around 3:20 could be different, make it happier maybe? Like something with big epic strings playing a major melody instead of sad. The guitars that come in at 4:25 are amazing, really digging this part, very well done. 5:20 lead seems a bit forcefully put in, it's almost the same as the one before. I think a little polishing here would make it better. Interesting song though, I like a good jazzy feel. Looking forward to a full version. Cheers
#3
Quote by James_Het_Rules
When will you have drums on it?


a month, a year, i dunno. i've never played drums before and i also suck at programming exciting drum tracks.

thanks for the feedback you two. i'm definitely gonna rerecord the guitars later, they don't sound as great as i thought they did. i was trying to go for a less distorted, more organic guitar sound. the doubling is also still bothering me.
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
#4
vN,
Not sure I hear an Also Sprach Zarathustra connection, but that is not important. I do hear some bits of classic music in there though. Guitar playing is good. Some drums could really change the feel of this, but not sure if it would be for the better.....especially during the strings only parts. Will be interesting to see how you handle that in the future. Sounds interesting so far. Orchestral parts sound good. Please review my music at this link:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1617055
#5
Nice buildup in the intro, I really like how the strings fill out the lows. The fast picked melody that starts at 0:56 works really well, though I wouldn't pan it quite so far to the right. Especially when you start palm muting at 1:13 it would have been a lot more powerful if it was panned 50% or 70% or so.

Rythm guitar that comes in 0:56 seems to be hard panned as well. Perhaps you can try double tracking it to give it some more oomph. I like the transition to the bridge, that was really smooth. The part that starts at 4:42 is great aswell and a welcome change in pace. The ending came as a surprise though that might be because of the lack of drums.

Overall I can really see this work as a full song. Adding some drums would really drive the song. Production wise I'd experiment with the panning and double track the rhythm guitar.
#6
Great intro - you can make it even longer so it can be intro for the whole album. The strings in the beginning remind me of the old black and white movie soundtracks. The melody sounds original and memorable which is quite a feat for a black metal song Although I think that it can work as a soundtrack. As a whole, your song is dark and epic as James_Het_Rules said. Usually I don't like "epic" songs but your one is great! Keep up the good work, man, this really has potential.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1620556
#7
Quote by vIsIbleNoIsE
a month, a year, i dunno. i've never played drums before and i also suck at programming exciting drum tracks.

thanks for the feedback you two. i'm definitely gonna rerecord the guitars later, they don't sound as great as i thought they did. i was trying to go for a less distorted, more organic guitar sound. the doubling is also still bothering me.


I would get someone to do drums for you, or spend time getting better at understanding drums. Same with a bass track. The rhythm section is the most important when it comes to any bit of music. If you have the best guitar players and what not it wont matter if the rhythm section sucks.

The song has a lot of good parts, good use of strings and opeth-y riffs. A better amp would definitely help you, besides that great song, just needs to be filled in.
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#8
Chord progression in the beginning is nice and i always like when theres some strings. Thing what comes in 1:15 is nice. I enjoyed how you play two things that blended together that nicely. Overall nice song, definetly like hear it when its ready.
#9
loved the intro and the build up.. The riff at 2:03 gave me goosebumps, that riff was an eargasm bro..

Please, finish it, add vocals and repost this please, I want to listen to it xD

Cheers
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.