#1
Let me set this up: It's a moonless night in a shit, twenty something apartment complex...

I been dating this hot twenty something Panamanian girl with blue eyes..

The memory foam is very comfortable... you literally can't feel the person next to you moving or breathing...and since it was a moonless night.. it was very dark... and since she is also very dark,, I couldn't see her... and I certainly couldn't hear her breathing with Sade's "Smooth Operator" playing on the tape deck.....

Cutting to the chase.. I forgot she was laying next to me. .

I tooted twice.. .on purpose...

Then I heard her laughter... :facepalm.

I went into skillful damage control to cover for it:

"I forgot you were here."

Judging by her reaction, that wasn't the right thing to say.

Then:

"I realize it's too early in our dating process for me to be tooting.. at least on purpose... but I feel comfortable with you.. "

I should have said that first..
Last edited by 5_Years_Dead at Oct 4, 2013,
#2
uh... wtf?
Quote by Dave Mustaine
If you want to be treated intelligently, act intelligent.

#3
Quote by 5_Years_Dead
"...but I feel comfortable with you.. "

Did you do it in her face?

Did you?

No

Then you are not comfortable with her, she is just another slut in your bed. Ditch the bitch now and go and find the one
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
Last edited by slash_GNR666 at Oct 4, 2013,
#5
I lol'ed.
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#6
Quote by 5_Years_Dead
"I realize it's too early in our dating process for me to be tooting.. at least on purpose... but I feel comfortable with you.. "

whoooa dude slow down, don't freaking drop a marriage proposal on her

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


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Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

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It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#7
whoa there charley
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#11
Dutch oven
How do you make a signature? Is this a signature? Sig?.... Nature?..... Sigmund Freud?...... Nature Valley?.... Sigmund Fraud?..... Frankie Valli?.... ah, $!*@ it...
#13
Quote by Johnny_Ibanez
Men do not "toot"


This is the truth. Don't deny it men, we all fart, we do it well.
A bassist is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

The Pit operates under a pseudo-Murphy’s Law state of mind. You can make a comment and "whatever wrong assumption that can be made about it, will be made about it."
#14
TS, you're just saying all of this in an effort to let us all know that you, at the age of 35, can get a woman in her late 20's to come over to your house. /slow claps
#16
What happens if you sleep on your stomach on memory foam with morning wood?
#17
Quote by Seref
What happens if you sleep on your stomach on memory foam with morning wood?


memory wood
I'm gonna suffer for the rest of my life

But I will always find a way to survive
#19
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
TS, you're just saying all of this in an effort to let us all know that you, at the age of 35, can get a woman in her late 20's to come over to your house. /slow claps

I'm actually 38 and she is 24 or 25. Not that big of a deal.