#1
And does it beat a toaster?

Firefighters came to the rescue of a man in distress when he got his penis stuck in a toaster. It is unclear exactly what the humiliated gentleman had been up to, but fortunately London's finest arrived to extricate his manhood from the electrical device.


http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/firefighters-rescue-mans-penis-toaster-2346520
Spare a Cow
Eat a Vegan
#3
If I'm being honest? A vampire mouth fleshlight. Otherwise, a gloryhole.
Listen. I'm sorry.
Last edited by vilk at Oct 7, 2013,
#5
Another mans ass
How do you make a signature? Is this a signature? Sig?.... Nature?..... Sigmund Freud?...... Nature Valley?.... Sigmund Fraud?..... Frankie Valli?.... ah, $!*@ it...
#6
Quote by kcmoon5150
Another mans ass

Forget I said that.... My own ass
How do you make a signature? Is this a signature? Sig?.... Nature?..... Sigmund Freud?...... Nature Valley?.... Sigmund Fraud?..... Frankie Valli?.... ah, $!*@ it...
#8
i saw a drunk friend putting his dick in one of these
"If I tell you I'm good, you would probably think I'm boasting. If I tell you I'm no good, you know I'm lying."
#12
The question should really be:
What's the most normal thing you've ever put your penis in.

My dick knows no boundaries. Any hole's a goal.
"I think, as a musician, you should practice your technique to be as good as you need to be to facilitate whatever ideas come into your head."
- Devin Townsend
#16
A melon. Cut a hole and then microwave it and it'll feel exactly like a vagina they said. 5 years later i found out that it actually didn't feel that much like a vagina. But atleast the melon was more attractive than the girl i lost my virginity to.
#19
Nothing too exciting. A banana peel is probably the weirdest I've tried, and it didn't even work.
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#24
This is what I call "balloon masturbation":

Use a normal party (latex) balloon and pump it up to about 16". I love to use it, because it has a sexy shape and soft latex feel, especially after a few rounds of using it to pound on. I then apply Johnson Baby Powder over it to make it silky smooth baby skin soft. It smells nice and sexy. Place the balloon on the bed and start rubbing against it with your penis. Slide slowly back and forth on the balloon. The soft slippery latex balloon against my dick and the smell of the baby powder on the balloon and the balloon making noise, drives me crazy and I start rubbing and pounding it hard. When I do eventually come, the orgasm is mind blowing and I cover the balloon with sperm. After that, I just wipe away the cum and put it back in my cupboard. It can be reused roughly 6 times, depending on how you control fucking it. Practice make perfect!
2013 #5 Uger
2012 #7 Uger

Quote by jetfuel495
Jesus, Horsedick, you are my hero

Quote by JayT44
don't worry guys his girlfriend is black, she said it was okay for him to say that.



Stalk Me

Shitty Covers

Original Music

Lastfm
#25
I remember when I was a young teen and saw good luck chuck. there was a trick involving a microwave and a grapefruit which I found hilarious. I had a microwave and I had a grapefruit. good ole teen curiosity kicked in and i tried it...
Marty Friedman is GOD!

curently in a SEX MACHINEGUNS and X JAPAN phase AND Galneryus AND Anthem phase

damn J-Metal, why you so awesome

My Gear:

Schecter Hellraiser V-1 fr
Ibanez RG321mh
Fender GDC-200sce
Peavey Vypyr 30 w/ sanpera 1
#26
Quote by Horsedick.MPEG
This is what I call "balloon masturbation":

Use a normal party (latex) balloon and pump it up to about 16". I love to use it, because it has a sexy shape and soft latex feel, especially after a few rounds of using it to pound on. I then apply Johnson Baby Powder over it to make it silky smooth baby skin soft. It smells nice and sexy. Place the balloon on the bed and start rubbing against it with your penis. Slide slowly back and forth on the balloon. The soft slippery latex balloon against my dick and the smell of the baby powder on the balloon and the balloon making noise, drives me crazy and I start rubbing and pounding it hard. When I do eventually come, the orgasm is mind blowing and I cover the balloon with sperm. After that, I just wipe away the cum and put it back in my cupboard. It can be reused roughly 6 times, depending on how you control fucking it. Practice make perfect!


#28
Banana peels don't even work unless you have a skinny dick. Same with paper towel rolls and such. I've heard of people using those. But you'd need something to keep it lubed up because cardboard on the penis doesn't sound nice.
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#30
A Condom
Wayne's World! Party Time! Excellent!
Party on Wayne. Party on Garth

Schecter Platinum C-1 Floyd Rose

Quote by Lord_Doku
Friendship and masturbation go a long way towards happiness. Until you have sex, then it's friendship and sex. And an empty wallet.
#31
Quote by iRoseAgainst
A Condom


Ever tried a cola flavoured condom? Looks like you lubed up a bin liner with Pepsi and tied it round your wang.
Spare a Cow
Eat a Vegan
#32
My ex.
Gear:


Fender American Hand Stained stratocaster
Fender 72' Telecaster Deluxe FSR

Squier Vista Venus

Boss TU-3
Boss OD-3
Pro co Rat 2
EHX Big Muff Nano
EHX Small clone
Boss DD7
Hardwire Supernatural


Vox AC30cc1
Blackheart Little Giant stack
#33
game of drunken truth or dare while i was in high school and got dared to put my dick in one of those old dictionaries with the golden trimmed paper.. my weiner was covered in dust when i took it out




#34
Quote by Fishybones
My ex.


QFT.
Seattle Seahawks


Quote by chookiecookie
i feel like you have an obsession with aubrey plaza.


Quote by WCPhils
at least we can all agree SGstriker is the woooooooooooooooooooooorst
#35
Quote by Ziphoblat
That was me.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line