Page 1 of 3
#1
I was listening to the radio this morning and as an offshoot to the Kris/Bruce Jenner divorce ( I know), the host asks,

"With the divorce rate at 50% of all marriages, do you (married, engaged, otherwise) expect to get divorced when you get married?"

Considering that "50%" (in the US, not sure what it is elsewhere) is rather skewed and not totally accurate, do you, did you or would you expect to get divorced when you get/got married? If you did and got married anyway, why?

I feel like most people are in that debate when they talk about signing pre-nups. After all, if you expect that you will be married forever, why would you need one?

Also consider this: how does this "50%" rate affect your desire to get married? ...if it does at all.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#2
It doesn't. I'd rather not get married but have a person who spends the rest of my life with me.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#3
But TS, your mom would never divorce me.
Quote by SGstriker
If KFC is finger-licking good, then people would probably suck dicks for Popeyes. That's how good it is.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#5
If you go into a marriage expecting a divorce then it's just a matter of time. Oh five years down the road we're having money problems and it's stressing me out? See ya later! Oh and let me take half of everything. Married in holy acrimony!

People take marriage too lightly these days. Marriage ought to be for life, til death do us part, not until the first or second real problem you face.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#6
If marriage is your only concern, it is a waste of time and money. I'd rather think of it as a celebration of years of love and bonding, than the beginning.

Case in point: Most people that divorce married early in their relationship. A now married couple in my family was boyfriend-girlfriend for a good 6 years, in which they bought a house, pets, and were trying to produce babbies. Only after that did they think of marrying, and low and behold, they're still together. Shock.
#7
Quote by Acϵ♠
If you go into a marriage expecting a divorce then it's just a matter of time.

This. Why the hell would you expect a failure?
██████████████████████████
████████████████████████
█████████████████████
██████████████████████
█████████████████████
██████████████████████████
██████████████████████████


LET'S GO BUCKS
#8
Quote by Lord_Doku
If marriage is your only concern, it is a waste of time and money. I'd rather think of it as a celebration of years of love and bonding, than the beginning.

Not going to lie, most of the time, this is the woman's problem. All the girls are so focused on the wedding day and so excited about it and see it as the ultimate gesture of love.

Quote by Acϵ♠
If you go into a marriage expecting a divorce then it's just a matter of time. Oh five years down the road we're having money problems and it's stressing me out? See ya later! Oh and let me take half of everything. Married in holy acrimony!

People take marriage too lightly these days. Marriage ought to be for life, til death do us part, not until the first or second real problem you face.

I agree. People don't even know each other that long before they commit. On the radio, this lady knew the guy for 2 years and they're getting married. That's just crazy to me. I've known my SO for 6 years and I still don't know if I'd marry him.

It's also incredibly easy to call off a marriage here in the US. You file for divorce and that's it. In other countries, divorce isn't even an option. I think people in those places appreciate the responsibility of marriage better.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#9
Quote by kikaykitko

It's also incredibly easy to call off a marriage here in the US. You file for divorce and that's it. In other countries, divorce isn't even an option. I think people in those places appreciate the responsibility of marriage better.

Well they're also get betrothed at 12 and shit so its swings and roundabouts yano
#10
Quote by willT08
Well they're also get betrothed at 12 and shit so its swings and roundabouts yano

True. I kinda meant marriage between two consenting adults.

That child bride garbage isn't really marriage I think. It is in their culture, sure, but to me, that's a business transaction with a whole lot of rape involved.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#11
Quote by kikaykitko
True. I kinda meant marriage between two consenting adults.

I was only saying that the kind of places where you can't get a divorce probably aren't the best places to be looking for advice on how marriages should work
#12
Quote by willT08
I was only saying that the kind of places where you can't get a divorce probably aren't the best places to be looking for advice on how marriages should work

Yeah, but at least the philosophy that marriage should be a lifelong and irreversible commitment is the correct approach, I believe.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#13
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
Yeah, but at least the philosophy that marriage should be a lifelong and irreversible commitment is the correct approach, I believe.

I think the idea that any commitment you make is irreversible is kinda silly when it comes to who you spend your life with

EDIT: Why because I thought I'd be happy with this person for the rest of my life at one time, should I spend the rest of my life tied to someone who has since made my life miserable? Unless you think love conquers all and all that shit, it's completely unrealistic and relies on people being fortune tellers
Last edited by willT08 at Oct 9, 2013,
#14
Maybe people have subconsciously trained themselves. Imagine if expecting divorce was like when you just expect other things to happen in your life. They don't unless you work at them.
#16
Quote by willT08
I think the idea that any commitment you make is irreversible is kinda silly when it comes to who you spend your life with

Yeah, it does leave you without any options if things head south in the relationship, such as your wife becoming a serial killer or something. I guess making it utterly permanent is pretty extreme. But it would at least force people only to marry if they are absolutely sure it is the right thing to do, and that's what the western world needs to be more aware of.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#17
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
But it would at least force people only to marry if they are absolutely sure it is the right thing to do, and that's what the western world needs to be more aware of.

Is it?

Doesn't really seem like that big of a deal to me
#18
I don't believe marriage should exist. It's too clumsy.
Having said that, I plan on getting married someday.
#19
Quote by willT08
I think the idea that any commitment you make is irreversible is kinda silly when it comes to who you spend your life with

EDIT: Why because I thought I'd be happy with this person for the rest of my life at one time, should I spend the rest of my life tied to someone who has since made my life miserable? Unless you think love conquers all and all that shit, it's completely unrealistic and relies on people being fortune tellers

It depends on how you cope with differences. I think a lot of people go into marriage thinking this person will be the same person 5-10 years from now. That's ridiculous. People change and one of the responsibilities of being married, I think, is to try to grow together. Not necessarily change for each other but find a medium or a common bond through the changes. And there is also the grave mistake of thinking it will all be smooth sailing. Being in a relationship, married or not, means you work as a team whether you make each other better or you piss each other off every other time.

Unless that person is abusive or just plain psycho and doesn't give a shit about anyone else but themselves, it is possible to stay together happily throughout the years.

My folks have been married for 27 years. They were completely different people when they were 20 than now that they're 47. But what kept them together all these years are common values and common goals (like kids). Was it loving and happy all the time? **** no. But they work as a team so I think that makes it work.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#20
Quote by willT08
Is it?

Doesn't really seem like that big of a deal to me

I know that what other people choose to do with their lives should be of no concern to me, but the idea of forever setting my life in stone with a person I love utterly, is attractive to me.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Omae wa mou
Shindeiru



Quote by Axelfox
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
#21
So what? That means 50% are successful. And of the 50% that end in divorce a very high number of those are the same people going through multiple divorces.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#22
Quote by kikaykitko

My folks have been married for 27 years. They were completely different people when they were 20 than now that they're 47. But what kept them together all these years are common values and common goals (like kids). Was it loving and happy all the time? **** no. But they work as a team so I think that makes it work.

Cool for your parents. Some of us didn't grow up in nice cooshty 2 parent homes though and we still turned out fine and our parents are still happy. I can't say I'm a big fan of stigmatizing people that get divorces just because your parents were able to make a good marriage for themselves
#23
Quote by macashmack
I don't believe marriage should exist. It's too clumsy.
Having said that, I plan on getting married someday.


It's too clumsy? What does that even mean? How old are you? "I dont believe marriage should exist" is such a teenage thing to say
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#24
in agreement with will here, thought the day would never come

if fuckers want to get divorced then why stop them? if they're taking marriage too lightly, why should you give a shit, you're not married to them (and if you are, consider a divorce). and divorce doesn't have to end badly for the kids, that's ridiculous. joint custody is a wild ride for kids that i'd never support, but living with only one parent is not a problem.
i don't know why i feel so dry
#25
Quote by macashmack
...marriage should exist. It's too clumsy.

If someone smashed a punch bowl onto the floor after the Ketubah reading, that just wasn't typical at all.
#26
Quote by Acϵ♠
It's too clumsy? What does that even mean? How old are you? "I dont believe marriage should exist" is such a teenage thing to say

Eliminate the economic incentive and then I won't have any quarrels with marriage.
#27
That's because people nowadays can't fix their problems they prefer to avoid them and they take the easy way which is divorcing/seperation.

I don't believe in eternal love anyway...

Also, what is love?
Quote by DarkLiquor
I like you. Compassionate and strong. Glad theres people like you.

"What is the best kind of slave to have? One who does not realize they are a slave"
Wake up people!
#28
Quote by willT08
Cool for your parents. Some of us didn't grow up in nice cooshty 2 parent homes though and we still turned out fine and our parents are still happy. I can't say I'm a big fan of stigmatizing people that get divorces just because your parents were able to make a good marriage for themselves

When did I stigmatize them? I apologize if it sounded like that. For some people marriage doesn't work, I never said they are bad people or an incapable of being happy. They just handle relationships differently. And I'm trying to say marriage isn't all about love. It's about working as a team which isn't always based on romance.

What I'm saying is that it isn't completely insane or impossible to stay married to one person for the rest of your life like you made it sound here:

Quote by willT08
Why because I thought I'd be happy with this person for the rest of my life at one time, should I spend the rest of my life tied to someone who has since made my life miserable? Unless you think love conquers all and all that shit, it's completely unrealistic and relies on people being fortune tellers


Quote by Jackal58
So what? That means 50% are successful. And of the 50% that end in divorce a very high number of those are the same people going through multiple divorces.

That's what I meant when I said it's not accurate. I think they count the rate out of all marriages, not necessarily out of the number of people who are/were married one or multiple times.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#29
Quote by Eastwinn
in agreement with will here, thought the day would never come

if fuckers want to get divorced then why stop them? if they're taking marriage too lightly, why should you give a shit, you're not married to them (and if you are, consider a divorce). and divorce doesn't have to end badly for the kids, that's ridiculous. joint custody is a wild ride for kids that i'd never support, but living with only one parent is not a problem.


Why should we give a shit? Because marriage is an institution of civilized society that affects you more than you think. The increase in divorce has seriously diluted the quality of the ideology of marriage. People are taking marriage too lightly these days, with the impression that divorce is a get out of jail free card, when in fact it more often than not is a huge, huge setback not to be understated.

What's to stop the government from taking note of all the divorce and deciding that since too many people don't really care about taking marriage seriously, they take away the legal benefits of it? Now we have a bunch of people that value marriage for what it is who get ****ed over huge by the divorcing population. THAT's why we should give a shit. That's why YOU should give a shit. You do know that there are some very real benefits for being a married couple, right? Why the **** do you think homosexuals have been pushing for gay marriage for the last, i dont know, twenty ****ing years?

Divorce almost always ends badly for the kids. It's a trauma they have to endure, it introduces them to pain and hardship and emotional damage that they aren't supposed to experience until later in their life when they are more emotionally equipped to handle it. dude, just shut up, you have no idea what you're talking about and it's so ridiculously obvious you have your head so far up your ass it's in the clouds. Well done, you've actually pissed me off you little shit.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#30
Quote by kikaykitko
When did I stigmatize them? I apologize if it sounded like that. For some people marriage doesn't work, I never said they are bad people or an incapable of being happy. They just handle relationships differently. And I'm trying to say marriage isn't all about love. It's about working as a team which isn't always based on romance.
I thought that was the point of the thread. Cheeky OP and then straight in to the "Why don't they realize how seeerious it all is the fools. They all take it so lightly like it's nothing, they don't even understand"?

What I'm saying is that it isn't completely insane or impossible to stay married to one person for the rest of your life like you made it sound here:
I know one married couple and they don't even seem to like each other. In my experience it basically is

EDIT: Eastwinn broke Ace because he's not an idealist
#31
Quote by macashmack
Eliminate the economic incentive and then I won't have any quarrels with marriage.


Why on earth would they eliminate the legal and financial benefits of marriage? Christ, how stupid are people on UG getting? Then it's not marriage, it's a civil union. Man you guys just dont get it do you.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#32
Quote by willT08
I thought that was the point of the thread. Cheeky OP and then straight in to the "Why don't they realize how seeerious it all is the fools. They all take it so lightly like it's nothing, they don't even understand"?

I know one married couple and they don't even seem to like each other. In my experience it basically is

EDIT: Eastwinn broke Ace because he's not an idealist


Come on will. You're smarter than that.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#33
Quote by Acϵ♠
What's to stop the government from taking note of all the divorce and deciding that since too many people don't really care about taking marriage seriously, they take away the legal benefits of it? Now we have a bunch of people that value marriage for what it is who get ****ed over huge by the divorcing population. THAT's why we should give a shit. That's why YOU should give a shit. You do know that there are some very real benefits for being a married couple, right? Why the **** do you think homosexuals have been pushing for gay marriage for the last, i dont know, twenty ****ing years?

That's the problem. Why are there economic benefits for marriage? It's ****ing stupid.
Quote by Acϵ♠
Why on earth would they eliminate the legal and financial benefits of marriage? Christ, how stupid are people on UG getting? Then it's not marriage, it's a civil union. Man you guys just dont get it do you.

Because marriage shouldnt be about economic benefits. I'm fine with civil unions.
#34
Quote by Acϵ♠
Why should we give a shit? Because marriage is an institution of civilized society that affects you more than you think. The increase in divorce has seriously diluted the quality of the ideology of marriage. People are taking marriage too lightly these days, with the impression that divorce is a get out of jail free card, when in fact it more often than not is a huge, huge setback not to be understated.


still don't care.

Quote by Acϵ♠
What's to stop the government from taking note of all the divorce and deciding that since too many people don't really care about taking marriage seriously, they take away the legal benefits of it? Now we have a bunch of people that value marriage for what it is who get ****ed over huge by the divorcing population. THAT's why we should give a shit. That's why YOU should give a shit. You do know that there are some very real benefits for being a married couple, right? Why the **** do you think homosexuals have been pushing for gay marriage for the last, i dont know, twenty ****ing years?


what's to stop them? the fact that probably 90-100% of the people make laws are married and are notorious for not liking to pay taxes.

Quote by Acϵ♠
Divorce almost always ends badly for the kids. It's a trauma they have to endure, it introduces them to pain and hardship and emotional damage that they aren't supposed to experience until later in their life when they are more emotionally equipped to handle it. dude, just shut up, you have no idea what you're talking about and it's so ridiculously obvious you have your head so far up your ass it's in the clouds. Well done, you've actually pissed me off you little shit.


there's science on this subject. when you calm down you can look it up.
i don't know why i feel so dry
#35
Quote by macashmack
That's the problem. Why are there economic benefits for marriage? It's ****ing stupid.

Because marriage shouldnt be about economic benefits. I'm fine with civil unions.


Checked your profile. Saw your birthday. Kicked myself for arguing with an ignorant teenager.

Marriage isn't "about" economic benefits. It's one of the perks, dumbass. Legal and financial benefits of it are meant to help married couples, to build households together with as little undue strain as possible. Do you know why? BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU GROW A ****ING SOCIETY.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#36
Quote by Acϵ♠
Come on will. You're smarter than that.

How dare you, no I'm not.

But still, obviously my views on marriage are going to be shaped by my experience of marriage. And in my experience it's very detrimental to relationships and drives people in to doing very bad things because they feel trapped. And then if they seek a divorce they feel deeply ashamed for making a decision which in the long run is better for them. Seems kinda shitty to me, and I can't say I've known it to work much differently. I can only assume that the people who stay together are mainly made up of people who just stopped caring about if they or their partner are happy, because yano, how dare they back out of a marriage that'd be taking marriage far too lightly and what about the gays?
#37
Quote by willT08
I thought that was the point of the thread. Cheeky OP and then straight in to the "Why don't they realize how seeerious it all is the fools. They all take it so lightly like it's nothing, they don't even understand"?

I know one married couple and they don't even seem to like each other. In my experience it basically is

EDIT: Eastwinn broke Ace because he's not an idealist

I started the thread bc I wanted to know if people expect to be divorced bc of the divorce rate, the same way I came across the question this morning. I have my answer and my reasons, same way everyone else does. Then I responded to you and others saying it's impossible or insane to expect to be married forever. I don't see why you are faulting me for citing an example that says otherwise.

You're right, I do think marriage is serious and that divorce is not ideal. But I have no right nor am I saying that people should marry according to my opinion and are horrible people for getting divorced. Some people get married forever, some people get divorced, all for different reasons.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#38
Quote by Eastwinn
still don't care.


what's to stop them? the fact that probably 90-100% of the people make laws are married and are notorious for not liking to pay taxes.


there's science on this subject. when you calm down you can look it up.


Another teenager who thinks he knows all there is to know about a concept far outside of his scope. Wonderful.

One day all the little kiddies in this thread will understand better why protecting the institution of marriage is important.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#39
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
It doesn't. I'd rather not get married but have a person who spends the rest of my life with me.


If you're married and you die in a freak accident, your partner gets your estate. The same is not to be said for dying outside of wedlock. Legally it makes a lot more sense to be married to somebody if you genuinely want to be with that person for the rest of your life. That being said, marriage (certainly the first time round) is new territory for people, and ultimately you can't predict for certain how things are going to turn out, so having preparations in place to ensure a fair deal for both parties should the marriage end for whatever reason seems like a fairly sensible safety net to me. If it's not your first marriage, you're only going to be more aware of how things can change in the long-term and the necessity to prepare for that. I doubt people are doing it under the expectation of the marriage failing, but rather under acknowledgement of the fact that no matter how tight the relationship may seem now, there is always a chance that it won't stand the test of time.
Spare a Cow
Eat a Vegan
#40
Quote by macashmack
Eliminate the economic incentive and then I won't have any quarrels with marriage.

What incentive?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_penalty
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
Page 1 of 3