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#1
My grandma owned and operated the second best pub in Hamburg with a population of 1.8 million people as voted for in Germany's most famous tabloid.

My grandpa was wanted by the Angolan president at one point.

Go pit.
#2
My grandpa was the Angolan president.

And my cousin can put his palms flat on the floor keeping his legs straight.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#3
Quote by Philip_pepper

My grandpa was wanted by the Angolan president at one point.

Romantically?
#6
My grandma was a Ms. Ohio. Grandpa a tank driver in WW2. Supposedly I'm related to Grover Cleveland but I don't really believe it.
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#7
My great grandad was in the IRA and he shot Black and Tans. Take that Brits.

And apparently my other great grandad was meant to go on the Titanic but he didn't have all the vaccines or some shit so he couldn't go.
#9
Rumour has it that one of my great aunts or something similar was a stripper in WW2.

Out-common me now, Will!
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#11
SWIM crossed the rio grande in Mexico to come into the US by themselves.


das it
pinga
#12
My uncle was a Nigerian king who was assassinated by his rivals, leaving behind a multi-million inheritance which his enemies are desperate to get at. Please, for your attention, I need a small deposit of $1000 USD to access is inheritance as his last living relative, I am confident to share his inheritance as gesture of good faith for your aid. God bless. Please reply imminently.
🙈 🙉 🙊
#13
My Grandpa has a current Guinness world record for sailing across the Atlantic Ocean.

edit: He also ran 7 ultra marathons in 7 days on 7 continents, but I'm not sure if he has the world record for that or not.
Last edited by psyks at Oct 12, 2013,
#15
My brother once threw a cigarette up into the air and then caught it in his mouth. That was pretty impressive.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#16
Quote by I.O.T.M
My brother once threw a cigarette up into the air and then caught it in his mouth. That was pretty impressive.


Which end did he catch?
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#17
My grandfather was in the Winter War and earned a couple of medals.
#18
Quote by Todd Hart
Which end did he catch?

The filter end. It was pretty cool but a total fluke.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#19
Quote by Todd Hart
Rumour has it that one of my great aunts or something similar was a stripper in WW2.

Out-common me now, Will!

After WWII when they built the new towns, my family became the crime family in Welwyn Garden
#20
Quote by willT08
After WWII when they built the new towns, my family became the crime family in Welwyn Garden


They must have been very small to be a crime family of a model village...
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#21
My cousin designed some of the interface of a cell phone and his wife was a programer on Sims Online.

JAKEDIT: My uncle went on a date with a Russian spy when he was in the Navy.
#22
My nan walked across Germany, from her home in East Prussia (what is now Poland) to Bremen for 3-4 months in the winter of 1944-45 without a map, in order to avoid being captured, raped and/or killed by the Russians. She left on new years eve with her family and arrived at easter, sleeping in barns and abandoned houses, walking mostly at night.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evacuation_of_East_Prussia
Quote by Renka
OddOneOut is an Essex S&M mistress and not a pirate or a computer program.

#23
Unfortunately I'm probably the most impressive person in my family.
My God, it's full of stars!
#26
my grandfather escaped the Germans when they were invading Belgium. It was either that or dying.

Me, I was born on Jimi's birthday to Smells Like Teen Spirit. That's it
Quote by Ulalume
I had a friend who was held at gunpoint as a cashier. The robber told him to give him all the money in the register and what not. Apparently my friend then replied, "Would you like a slurpee with that?"
#27
my family on my dads side is the second biggest gang family in corona ca.

and my mommy's daddy is a direct descendent of Pancho Villa
Ultimately, it's all an Illusion for your confusion.

#28
my dad had to work in a maximum security prison in his twenties as a correctional officer. He had to deal with serial killers, drug dealers, and just plain on violent and f*cked up people, many of whom wanted to kill my dad. He's still alive, luckily.
Strangely enough, as my dad has told me, all of the drug dealers and serial killers had no mercy for people who diddled children (child rapists). Not only is raping children weird, but if you get caught, you will get the sh*t beaten out of you for years in jail by some of the most cruel people to walk this Earth. Lesson: don't diddle little kids.

My grandmother got on the radio due to her awesome accordion skills.
#30
There's rumours in my family that my great-grandfather was part of the Dutch Resistance. Of course everything was hush hush because of reasons so no one really knows. There's also talk of free-mason stuff with this particular dude but I don't think it's as plausible as the Resistance rumour.
#31
My granpa was the third best pitcher in AA baseball. My cousin assembles military tanks. Another cousin of mine is a dance teacher and he constantly travels in fact he appeared in the movie "El Cantante" hes the guy with the afro who kinda steals the spotlight for a moment and dances. My grandmother appeared in the movie of "Che" but just as a civillian. My uncle is a Jazz guitarist and also teaches at a music school. Another uncle was the president of my town on three consecutive occasions. My aunt is the head mistress of a private school. And well me i just play death metal and occasionally sing opera although my vocal chords got damage a long time ago so i can't really say i sing anymore and im studying to get my degree in Graphical Design.
#32
My uncle got an M.B.E a couple of years back. I can't really think of anything else.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#33
My cousins step-dad owns a million dollar insurance company, but I cant really think of much else. My granddad from Lithuania was a member of the Vilnius police in WW2 and did loads of Oskar Schindler type stuff. Most of my known family is made up of rural Irish farmers, barbers or simple working men-type stuff
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#35
No, don't think so. My grandmother gave birth to 11 children though. That's some achievement right there. Although I guess it's just a natural thing for Catholics.
From my fatherside, they have been in a local village for I don't know how long. On my mother's side they don't know any of the history from before the 1900's, but somewhere there must have been a coloured person. I've always wanted to know where that one came from, but I don't have the money for the DNA tests they can do these days. I want to have some family history.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
Last edited by Neo Evil11 at Oct 12, 2013,
#36
I was on the credits of FIFA 13 because I edited the AFC Bournemouth squad

So that's one hero in my family.
I have nothing important to say
#37
My two uncles from Wales are going to be on The Jeremy Kyle Show in a couple of weeks, they filmed it on thursday, the studio actually sent a taxi all the way from Manchester to Wales just to bring them up, I used to think that show was fake too. It's not impressive but not many people know someone who's been on that show nevermind related to them.
#38
Quote by lemmyisgod97
My two uncles from Wales are going to be on The Jeremy Kyle Show in a couple of weeks, they filmed it on thursday, the studio actually sent a taxi all the way from Manchester to Wales just to bring them up, I used to think that show was fake too. It's not impressive but not many people know someone who's been on that show nevermind related to them.


At least we know the people on there aren't actors.
#39
Quote by Philip_pepper
At least we know the people on there aren't actors.

Yeah, I don't know much about it yet since my mum is really pissed off and embarrassed about it, all I know is that the other twin is there as the "support" person to his twin. he thinks his GF is cheating on him even though she isn't and she passed to the lie detector test, should be funny to watch.
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