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#1
Had one today at work. It wasn't a "im so damn horny" boner either. It was one of those "my underwear is really comfy so im gonna rip a hard one" type boners. I was wearng thin boxers (never again.) and thin cotton pants so there was huge bulge (no my dik is not 8 inches, azzholes) and I think a lady saw me trying to cover it up

Tell the world your awkward boner story.

My worst one was in gym class in 6th grade. those shorts...
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#2
all my boners are awkward lol




#3
use to get them on the bus ride to school,dont know why :S .....cant recall any awkward moments with them, for me. guess i was lucky
Very Orange CARVIN DC 700
PRS SE Custom - crunch lab&PAF pro
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Originally Posted by Shirate
The guitar, the only beautiful female that looks better with the top ON haha

Transformice
#4
this one time I was the first episode of Curb
But boys will be boys and girls have those eyes
that'll cut you to ribbons, sometimes
and all you can do is just wait by the moon
and bleed if it's what she says you ought to do
#6
I had a sleep over with my friend and he popped a boner through his boxers in his sleep and started pissing into the air. I woke up to the sound of urine splashing and started yelling at him to wake up.

His sister was in another bed in the same room. We both started laughing at him while he was cleaning up his piss.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#7
Sometimes in the morning while in the car, I get the chubs.
I was thinking of nothing.

My theory is it's the morning wood that didn't happen earlier trying to come out.
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#8
Quote by Nelshizzle
I had a sleep over with my friend and he popped a boner through his boxers in his sleep and started pissing into the air. I woke up to the sound of urine splashing and started yelling at him to wake up.

His sister was in another bed in the same room. We both started laughing at him while he was cleaning up his piss.


wtf?!?!

but srs, I hate pissing early in the morning when I have a huge boner. I have to stand like 10 feet away from the toilet to make it in.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#9
Quote by k.lainad
Had one today at work. It wasn't a "im so damn horny" boner either. It was one of those "my underwear is really comfy so im gonna rip a hard one" type boners. I was wearng thin boxers (never again.) and thin cotton pants so there was huge bulge (no my dik is not 8 inches, azzholes) and I think a lady saw me trying to cover it up

Tell the world your awkward boner story.

My worst one was in gym class in 6th grade. those shorts...

Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#10
Quote by Nelshizzle
I had a sleep over with my friend and he popped a boner through his boxers in his sleep and started pissing into the air. I woke up to the sound of urine splashing and started yelling at him to wake up.

His sister was in another bed in the same room. We both started laughing at him while he was cleaning up his piss.

I don't think that was piss
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#11
Quote by k.lainad
It was one of those "my underwear is really comfy so im gonna rip a hard one" type boners.

I know this feel all too well. If I wear shorts without underwear I'm randomly sporting a boner most of the time. Thank god for skinny jeans
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#12
I don't get random boners much anymore. I get morning wood all the time, but the public boners are very rare. Thank christ. I got them all the time in high school.
#13
Quote by Nelshizzle
I had a sleep over with my friend and he popped a boner through his boxers in his sleep and started pissing into the air. I woke up to the sound of urine splashing and started yelling at him to wake up.

His sister was in another bed in the same room. We both started laughing at him while he was cleaning up his piss.

Did you bang her?
#14
Quote by macashmack
Did you bang her?


bet she swallowed the peepee before hand
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#15
Quote by Nelshizzle
I had a sleep over with my friend and he popped a boner through his boxers in his sleep and started pissing into the air. I woke up to the sound of urine splashing and started yelling at him to wake up.

His sister was in another bed in the same room. We both started laughing at him while he was cleaning up his piss.

mugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmugmug
#16
I remember I was in h.s. and it was my turn to get up and give a power point presentation, there was no podium. I was like oh shit I have a boner. So I tried to stall as much as I could fumbling around with stuff, then asked who was going after me etc. It was enough time to tame the boner beast.
A bassist is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

The Pit operates under a pseudo-Murphy’s Law state of mind. You can make a comment and "whatever wrong assumption that can be made about it, will be made about it."
#17
Oh, just remembered this one time I was sitting on the bus and had a hard boner (6th grade) and i was wearing shorts. The zipper part was bulging upwards like a hill lol. This girl sitting in the seat next to mine glanced over and was like "do you have a boner?". I just awkwardly sat up and it naturally went forward to my pantleg. So embarrassing.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#18
Quote by macashmack
Did you bang her?


No.

Quote by k.lainad
bet she swallowed the peepee before hand


not before your mother swallowed yours.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#20
I've had to awkwardly stall plenty of times until it went down, back in middle/high school. I rarely get them in public anymore.
#22
Quote by Whoots
Do you guys not tuck in to your waistline?


Iv been doing for a long time now. works best with briefs and more elastic type underwears. Not with cheap and thin boxers, lol.
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers
There shall be a stop to this madness. The battle is not over. My tasty licks aren't going anywhere.

Quote by The_Blode
^ I've just realised if you say Simple Plan's 2011 effort "Get Your Heart On!" really fast in a Southern American accent, it sounds gross. . .like sexual gross!

Quote by Necroheadbanger
Hello.
I'm looking for professional bongo-ists and triangle-ists to make a Progressive Technical Brutal Death Metal band
(will be called AxOxJxLxAxIxVxXxUxWxZxQxUxRxWxGxJxSxAxLxKxMxNxHxUxGxAxAxWxVxCxBxZxVx)
(Don't even ask what it means)


https://soundcloud.com/95dank



#23
Only a couple months ago I got one. This amazing looking girl came in to my shop (car dealership for service). I only have this little podium and people are supposed to drive in. She didn't and walked in and I had to tell her to walk back out and drive her car in. Well, I looked at her ass to much as she walked away and by the time she came in was 12 to 6. Then she wanted to check out this part on her car and I couldn't walk away from my podium
Uncle aciD

&

The deadbeatS


Do What Your Love Tells You
#24
Got it in sunday school just before we finished up. When I got up from the chair I tried to conceal this poking monster with my backpack. Unsuccesfully of course. It was like, hey, priest, do you wanna see my monstrous blasphemy? The little girls around me looked scared...
#25
In public I only get 'em A) while out shopping (usually for groceries, don't ask why) and B) whenever I'm wearing particularily loose clothing. That's not a legitimate excuse for catholic priests tho, buddhist monks walk around wearing robes all day as well and they don't seem to molest young boys on such a grand scale

/] 三方 [\
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#26
The worst time I ever had one was during a presentation. I had to do it all from memory because I had to use the presentation notes to cover my bulge. Made myself look a right idiot.
Ceci n'est pas une signature.
#27
Got a couple in high school when I was about 14/15 besides that the only other one that I've had was when I was at work (I work on checkouts) this MILF came through my checkout and I mean she was a solid 9/10 and she was buying this Dita Von Teese branded lingerie so my mind just kind kicks into overdrive thinking what she'd look like wearing it. I tried not to think about it but that just made it worse and I popped a semi. So to stop it getting worse I just took a step forward so it was pinned against the counter so it wasn't obvious Unfortunately though I think the pressure applied to it made it stay up for longer than it should have (a good 5 minutes after she had left.)
#29
For some reason I get them spontaneously if I haven't had a good night's sleep, which has led to some awkward ones at work where I've come in to work early without sleeping enough and I'll just pop one completely out of nowhere. When that happens it's like "OH GOD CROUCH DOWN PRETEND TO BE INSPECTING THE LOWER SHELVES AND THINK ABOUT MAGGOTS CRAWLING OVER YOUR DICK"

Works all the time.
🙈 🙉 🙊
#31
It's always awkward to cuddle with a girl because I tend to get them. I try to hide it if we aren't dating or sexually engaged otherwise, but even if we are I feel a little embarrassed.

Quote by Nelshizzle
I had a sleep over with my friend and he popped a boner through his boxers in his sleep and started pissing into the air. I woke up to the sound of urine splashing and started yelling at him to wake up.

His sister was in another bed in the same room. We both started laughing at him while he was cleaning up his piss.

Beautiful
Quote by beadhangingOne
What happened to Snake?

Snake?

Snake?

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE?!


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you can take my mouse and keyboard from my cold, slightly orange from cheetos, dead fingers


Quote by Baby Joel
Isis is amazing
Last edited by Gibson_SG_uzr55 at Oct 14, 2013,
#32
I got hard when i was in the sauna with my dad and brother once. It was dark so they didn't notice though.
#33
Managed to coast through life without any inappropriate erections apparently. Unless the memories are so painfully awkward I managed to completely block them out or something. I'll get back to you after some intense hynotism and CBT.
Vinland, Vinland Über Alles

"Why do they still call me a warlord? And mad? All I want to do is create the perfect genetic soldier!"
#34
Quote by Nelshizzle
I had a sleep over with my friend and he popped a boner through his boxers in his sleep and started pissing into the air. I woke up to the sound of urine splashing and started yelling at him to wake up.

His sister was in another bed in the same room. We both started laughing at him while he was cleaning up his piss.



Can't remember any.
But I served in the army for 8 months as a mandatory service and every morning when they blew the whistle we had 45 seconds to grab our clothes and line up in the hallway wearing nothing but boxers. Morning wood was a constant worry, initially at least.
#35
Quote by shwilly
In public I only get 'em A) while out shopping (usually for groceries, don't ask why)

#36
Had them all the time on the bus. Haven't had any since I started fapping daily.
#37
Quote by Rocketface2112
use to get them on the bus ride to school,dont know why :S .....cant recall any awkward moments with them, for me. guess i was lucky


If your school bus rides were anything like mine then there was always really hot girls wearing really short skirts and they always had their shirts unbuttoned quite low...
#39
Just an a little tip: the Canadian Beltbuckle doesn't work very well on longer penises lol. Trust me on that. Well you can pull your pants up higher, but you'll look strange then. Otherwise you just have a suspicious bump on your belly lol. I guess if you wear a very baggy shirt though, it might work easier. Hmm... I'll have to report back.
--------------╯╰--------------
A SIGNATURE.
--------------╮╭--------------
#40
Quote by DonGlover
Just an a little tip: the Canadian Beltbuckle doesn't work very well on longer penises lol. Trust me on that. Well you can pull your pants up higher, but you'll look strange then. Otherwise you just have a suspicious bump on your belly lol. I guess if you wear a very baggy shirt though, it might work easier. Hmm... I'll have to report back.


We get it, you've got a big dick. Stop rubbing it in (no homo).
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