Tuning is annoying. I don't like doing it by ear. I like to know that everything is tightened evenly. So I use an evasns torque key. But what I hate is that it has a dial with numbers but the dial spins like infinitely around so the numbers mean nothing you have to like remember what number and how many spins. You know what I mean?

So I want to know like how tight people normal tune their drums. But how can you tell me? How can you say numerically or by note or whatever? That's what I want to know.

My kick drum sounds very resonant but I'm using the evans head with the foam ring thing and also the evans pad thing inside. and it sounds very ringy and boomy. I loosened it a lot and it still sounds weird.

Maybe I should get that drum dial thing.

I also want to know if the top head should be tighter or looser than the reso head or the same. for toms, snare, and kick. what do people do? if it depends on style I play rock.
If the batter and the reso are tuned to the same pitch then the drum will ring out longer.

That's pretty much all I can help with. I tune mine by ear and never have any problems.
Tuning a drum is not an easy thing to learn. It can be the hardest part of being a new drummer. Bob Gazten has some great videos on drum tuning. His tuning methods have almost become the industry standard for teaching young drummers how to tune. I have been playing for 25 years and I still refer back to his methods for drum tuning. I tune everything really low, to a point just past wrinkle. Once I have the wrinkles out I tune up every lug to an equal pitch. I tune both heads equally then tune the batter up about half a turn.

There are a few things to remember. First, your drums will NEVER sound like your favorite drummer on your favorite album. Drums are very heavily processed in the studio to add depth. Second, your drums sound MUCH different in front of the kit than behind it. Tune the drums, then have somebody else play them while you stand 5, 10, 15 feet away. You will get a different sound each time. Third, the room affects the drum sound. If you are in a dead, soundproofed, baffeled room your drums will sound much different than if you are playing in a wide open cynder block basement. Tune your drums to the room. Last, all of the strange buzzing, overtones and unwanted frequencies get lost when the band starts to play. Tune your drums then record them with the band playing. You will hear the fundamental note, and not much more.