#1
If you are of a certain age where you are expected to have some financial independence, how lenient/strict are your parents when it comes to supporting you financially? Whether it means only helping you out if you are really stuck, or giving you treats every now and again.

When i finished university, i was out of a job, and i was finding it really difficult to get one, so i had no income, but luckily, i was living with my parents, and they were willing to lend me money every so often because they knew that i was trying to get a job an not just being idle about things, even though i didn't really like the position i was in. Luckily, when it got to the point where i had enough and figured i should sign on, i managed to find a job, and i don't have to rely on my parents for money. My family aren't exactly well to do, and when i was a lot younger, they were struggling from time to time, but now the income is comfortable.

I feel very grateful for the fact that they were willing supportive, but i think that in some situations, if parents are willing to pay for everything for their kids, then they don't really learn the value of money so well as people whose parents are more strict on things like that, and the reason why i pose the question to the pit is because i know some people whose parents would want their kids to sign on straight away if they didn't have a job.
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#2
Fortunately I haven't ever really needed it, but my parents are quite happy to help, if I really need it.

For example, when my boiler went kaput, they lent me the money to get it replaced and have the work done, because I didn't have the £2.8k it cost, so rather than me taking a loan out to cover it, my parents lent me the money so I wouldn't have to pay interest.

They're happy to do it because I've always made regular repayments, and never messed them around - they go out of their way to help me, so being straight up and repaying them their money in a timely fashion is the least I can do.
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#3
I still live at home. Parents pay for the food at home and that's about it. I have a decent amount of money from savings accounts which they started (with help from my grandparents) when I was very young. I got money from the EMA when I was at school, and then lived off of that and other savings until I finally got a job at 21. Now I buy most of my own food because I'm at work or Uni most of the time.

They'll always be willing to lend me money, but I don't need them to at the moment
#4
My parents have always been very generous, and willing to help me out. As long as I'm making every effort to support myself as well.
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#5
Nice thread!

I learnt the value of money the hard way when I first left my house to go to uni. At the time, I had some really intense arguments with my father about almost everything. So I decided to become financially independent...and boy...did it suck. I wondered from job to job, trying to attend my courses, and had a really rough time for about 2 years.

Trying to become financially independent sucks. Being on the other hand is really its own reward. In my case it also helped me resolve any issues I had with my family, and made them respect my choices, cause I was backing them up with my labor.
#6
My mom and step-dad will support me in the worst of times, and that is comforting to know. However, I try hard to be continually less dependent on other people. Unfortunately when you work part-time, earn minimum wage and have tuition to pay, that isn't always easy.
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#7
I am unemployed, go to school full time, and live at home. Take a guess.

I'm not really bothered. I'm trying to get a job, but not much will change most likely. I will be able to buy a car though which will be nice.

I really can't think of a time my parents wouldn't support me tbh
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#8
I'm pretty good with my money and still have quite a lot of my student loan left from previous years so I don't really need financial help from my parents, but they would help me if I needed it. They did lend me money when I was waiting for my erasmus grant to come in though so I could minimise international transfer costs.
#9
I'm in uni, renting an apartment on campus but it's like a 10 minute drive from home so I go back once or twice a week. I am not financially independent at all. I probably could be apart from tuition costs because I've saved up quite a bit of money over the last couple years. But my parents spoil me way too much. I think it's because they struggled a lot when they were students and because I'm a girl and an only child they don't want me to go through that if they can help it. They literally won't let me spend any of my own money on anything - if I tell my mom I went grocery shopping she'll ask why I went without her, for instance. Even if I'm buying clothes from the place I work at she'd rather I let her buy them for me at full price than buy them myself with my employee discount. My parents don't even have that much disposable so I have no idea why they persist in doing this.

I don't actually have much spendable cash at the moment because they take $300 every month to pay off the loan on their unit. They're looking to buy a second property in the next year or two and once they do, they'll move in there and transfer ownership of the first one to me because they recently changed the property laws about owning private and public units at the same time. So if I don't move away I really don't have to worry about my financial situation unless I want to buy a car or something.

I am much stingier than either of them are right now though because even though I was pretty young I still remember being poor. I guess I take it too far occasionally, as in the week when I ate nothing but bread, peanut butter, and seaweed because I felt so guilty about going to the ATM to withdraw money.


Oh yeah we're Asian though so I'll definitely be expected to support them fully if they need it when they retire.
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Last edited by guitarxo at Oct 28, 2013,
#10
If it were up to my father, I'd never see a dime. Fortunately for all his hyper-testosterone, military oorah-shit, my mother whips the shit out of him. So yes, the parents have financially helped me through a number of my financial hardships.
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#11
I work full time but its impossible to live off of shitty retail wages so I will be living with my parents for the foreseeable future.

Or at least until I get these dumb student loans paid off, I should have never gone to uni in the first place, or at least dropped out in the first year instead of the second.
#12
My parents have always paid for everything until I graduated from college. I also lived with them until then. But they always reminded us that we live from their paycheck to paycheck so my brother and I grew up never asking for more than what was given to us. My dad is big on education though and tried to put incentive on hard work in school so we'd get rewards (sometimes monetary) if we performed very well.

I don't think it taught us to be financially dependent or irresponsible. In fact, I think it pushed me to start working for my own expenses sooner than later bc I felt bad for being a financial burden on my parents. It also taught me to value money and savings especially bc I always saw how badly my parents felt that they could not have or provide a more comfortable life. I think it also made me appreciate the generosity my parents show me like offering to pay for things (stuff I pay for anyway like getting a haircut) bc I know it is not something to take lightly no matter how small the amount seems.
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#13
I have access to both my parents' bank accounts, but only use it in dire emergencies. I'm still a bit shocked that they trust me with that info.

They raised me well in terms of financial independence. Every time I got money, they encouraged me to take some and put it aside in a 'savings' fund. Mum taught me how to shop economically for food and other essentials, Dad showed me how to search for deals and stuff when casual spending.
#14
I live at home and Im going to school (upgrading then post secondary). My parents basically will pay for;

Food at home (if I eat out its out of my own pocket)
Utilities (no rent either)
Internet
TV

Basically everything other than that is out of my own pocket including clothes, shoes, cellphone, car payments, gas, insurance, school costs, music supplies etc. etc. I have a few chores that I do for free as well obviously.

great deal.
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#16
My grandparents have told me that whenever I need money I should tell them. They're fairly well off, but given all they've done for me, I simply don't feel right asking for money. I'd feel... dirty. So I don't ask them for money. I find a way.
#17
Right now I'm living 2000km from home so I haven't seen my parents for about two and a half months now. They paid my tuition for my first semester and am letting me try to handle the rest of the costs, as Tuition is actually relatively cheap compared to some other stuff I'm paying for now. However, I know I wouldn't have been able to cover it all without my parents' help and they know that too, which is why they were willing to help me out. If I asked them for money I know that they would lend me some, but I've tried hard for the past 4 years not to take money from my parents. And as most of you have all said, I've got a job that I'm working almost 30hrs a week at and doing a full course load as well, so they know I'm doing what I can to keep paying the bills myself.

It's great to know that I have someone to fall back on a bit if I ever needed it though. I had a friend in high school who's parents were completely uninvolved with his finances after high school. They wouldn't support him financially in the slightest in any post secondary education pursuits, but were all for him doing it himself. He did two years and then moved out west to work oil rigs and make more money, so I'm glad I haven't had to do anything like that.
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#18
I think it's a bad thing for parents to fully support their children while they're in college (or beyond). If possible, they should provide some measure of safety net and help. However, providing EVERYTHING only increases entitlement.

IMO, one of the more important aspects of college is learning independence. And that doesn't happen when you're spoonfed everything. You should have to take out a loan or two, maybe get a part-time job, etc. If you're unable to pay for everything you need, sure, get some help from your parents. But you should at least be doing what you can to maintain some form of independence.
#19
Currently living on my own, and kind of supporting myself in a roundabout way. I'm on a student loan to cover living costs, plus some of my own pocket, but one way or another it's all coming out of my pocket eventually. I have a safety net under me, and if I ever get between no money and dropping out of uni/forced to move back in my parents house then they'd help me out expecting to be repaid, which I would do.
#20
I'm 19, and I live a home for free, and have free food n' shit. I've had a few temp jobs, so I've been paying for my own college, and I want to keep it that way, so I'm looking to get a small job 10-20 hours on the side. My parents aren't really pushing me to get a job, and are fine with me staying as long as I'm in school and doing well in it.
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#21
My parents paid for the rental deposit for the house I'm living in at uni, but if I lose the deposit then I'll have to repay them the money. Other than that they haven't paid for anything other than the odd train ticket home.
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#22
Quote by progdude93
My grandparents have told me that whenever I need money I should tell them. They're fairly well off, but given all they've done for me, I simply don't feel right asking for money. I'd feel... dirty. So I don't ask them for money. I find a way.

I don't even like taking money from my grandma when I cut her lawn, but she always tells me this too. No way I'm just gonna call my grandma and have her send me some money

And part of the reason I moved so far away from home was to establish that sense of independence and separation from my parents/family. My sister did the same going to school in the states. I love my parents both more than anything, but I'm not the kind of person to sit around and let them do everything for me. I've definitely noticed that I can take much better care of myself and my own problems since leaving home. I've also learned I'm much cleaner and more organized than when I lived at home, mostly because I don't have anyone picking up after me or nagging me to do so. I agree that university is much more than an education, you can gain vital life experience that you may miss out on otherwise.
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#23
22. Parents pay for my room. used to pay for room and tuition, but now I have a scholarship.
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#24
My parents paid for a lot and still do, maybe too much. However given their financial standings I'd say they've done a great job keeping my and my siblings grounded.

Atm they pay for my rent and bills, though there's a special consideration in that they're doing it for this year which is my final year of uni, and making sure I'm in a position by next July that I don't need their financial support because they won't be able to do it once they move back to the UK
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#25
My parents are Bangladeshi and you are expected to live in your parent's house until you are married... and even then, it's better if you and your spouse live with at least one set of parents. So naturally, my parents want me and my fiance to move in with them so they can finance us while we look for better-paying jobs and do grad school applications. However, this comes with highly specific expectations which I would rather avoid, so we have been pretty heavily criticized for living in a cheaper town by ourselves and working in service positions instead of living with them.

first-generation moral confusion ftw
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#26
My parents insist on paying back my student loans, even though I always tell them that they don't need to. I appreciate it because it keeps me from being completely dirt poor (because what the bank expects me to pay is outrageous), but I eventually plan on setting up a wire transfer back to USA so I can start paying them myself. I even got the bank papers the last time I was home. Now it's just a matter of getting a day off work to go to the bank...
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#27
Currently at a university campus hall of residence. Scholarship paid half of it off, most of the rest through student allowance and the remaining from my parents. I intend to pay them back soon, but I can't wait until I get an apartment to myself.

Parents have been really supportive but for the most part I have been trying to be independent with money. They have been paying for trips back home, though, which is really nice
#28
I'm 23 now, I graduated from university in June 2012. From then until August this year I continued to live in my university city with some friends and I just had a temporary job. Unfortunately that temporary job came to an end and without anything else to fall back on I had to move back in with my parents.

I've been looking for a job ever since, but no luck thus far. Fortunately they don't want me to pay rent, only for food (£25 a week), so it's very fair. I signed on last month though so I'm getting some income.

I've got a job interview tomorrow though, so fingers crossed!
#29
I lived off my parents' money for far too long. They paid for my education, and I squandered it because I was lazy. Then my dad was angry and said he would no longer support me. I got a job and pay all my own bills now, so I guess it turned out for the best. Maybe that was what I needed to get my life sorted out. I'm not quite there yet but it's a start. He's still mad at me and wants me to get a job relevant to what I studied.

I'm basically the worst person ever.
#30
My parents are awesome, giving me food n money n comfort n stuff, while I do a lot of recreational drugs for fun. I sometimes study as well.
#31
Quote by sashki
I lived off my parents' money for far too long. They paid for my education, and I squandered it because I was lazy. Then my dad was angry and said he would no longer support me. I got a job and pay all my own bills now, so I guess it turned out for the best. Maybe that was what I needed to get my life sorted out. I'm not quite there yet but it's a start. He's still mad at me and wants me to get a job relevant to what I studied.

I'm basically the worst person ever.

What did you study?

Unless it was something highly specialized like medicine or engineering, people usually end up in careers that are not directly related or relevant to their careers. I read somewhere that people change careers (as in career/industry, not just job) an average of 7 times in their working lives.
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#32
Quote by kikaykitko
What did you study?

Unless it was something highly specialized like medicine or engineering, people usually end up in careers that are not directly related or relevant to their careers. I read somewhere that people change careers (as in career/industry, not just job) an average of 7 times in their working lives.

Electronic Engineering
#33
Quote by sashki
Electronic Engineering

Ah. I guess I see where your dad is coming from.

Quote by progdude93
I think it's a bad thing for parents to fully support their children while they're in college (or beyond). If possible, they should provide some measure of safety net and help. However, providing EVERYTHING only increases entitlement.

IMO, one of the more important aspects of college is learning independence. And that doesn't happen when you're spoonfed everything. You should have to take out a loan or two, maybe get a part-time job, etc. If you're unable to pay for everything you need, sure, get some help from your parents. But you should at least be doing what you can to maintain some form of independence.

Depend on other values they've taught their children. My parents are generous when it comes to supporting my brother and I but we were also taught that these things do not come freely, and even when it is earned, we should learn to be grateful and respect other people's hard work.

There is a difference between paying for someone's education (if they can) and coddling their children. Coming from another country where student loans are almost unheard of, it was outrageous to discover that American young adults start their lives earning $30K a year with $150k loans (or some insane ratio like that). I think it's kind for parents to help their children start fresh when they start working without massive amounts of debts. It is unnecessary but young adults can still learn to be independent even with their education paid for.

But providing for their children's leisure DOES increase entitlement which I also see in a lot of American young adults.
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#34
wanted me to pay rent
#35
What is my finance?
No job, graduated high school, inherited some money, blew through it like a dumbass, but most of it went to gas to get to and from school every day, ie like 2-3grand in gas within a year, ended up broke, dropped college, got jobs, now hoping to go to a music college next semester or a JC.
I hate junior college, it is worse than high school. You dont learn shit, do a bunch of pointless homework, and get bullshit tests. Teachers dont give a shit, students are ignorant and rude. Why couldnt I have skipped high school and gone straight to junior college? Or skip junior college and go straight to a university. Oh thats right cuz my parents cant afford to put me thru college, grants dont work cuz i am considered a deendent upon my parents till 24 unless they die or i join the army or have a kid
#36
It's funny my brother was saying to me the other day how nice it would be to have parents who could help out financially. Not having to worry about the deposit of a house, or when your fridge becomes banjaxed would be nice.

But that's just the way it is I suppose. I currently have no savings left as they have all went towards 2 - 3 months of bus tickets, and getting the bus everyday is ridiculously expensive when you don't have an income. I'm about to sell of a ton of stuff on ebay because I can't go to college if I don't have money for the bus and my mum can't afford to help me out since she's just scrapping by herself. Oh the joys of being poor and jobless.