#1
I'm lost somewhere
Between the remember when's and
we should see each other again's.
It's one big popularity contest,
nothing new and nothing true,
nothing broken and nothing spoken,
It's all these nothing's that I hear the loudest.

I wait at the bar,
for my memories to subside.
Not in a country song "drink her memory away" type of way
but in a "One more night I don't care to remember" kind of way
I pray,
and I drink.
And I answer all these questions,
and I answer all these questions,
and I answer all these questions.

I wanted to be liked back then,
Who would've guessed I still do.
Last edited by bluesybilly at Oct 29, 2013,
#2
Quote by bluesybilly
I'm lost somewhere
Between the remember when's and
we should see each others again.
I liked this better, the "again's" felt like a forced rhyme.
It's one big popularity contest,
nothing new and nothing true,
nothing broken and nothing spoken,
It's all these nothing's that I hear the loudest.

I wait at the bar,
for my memories to subside.
Not in a country song "drink her memory away" type of way
but in a "One more night I don't care to remember" kind of way
I pray,
and I drink.
And I answer all these questions,
and I answer all these questions,
and I answer all these questions.

I wanted to be liked back then,
Who would've guessed I still do.


Other than that, I really enjoyed this. You know how to produce the feels in the simplest of words. You're like a collection of all those country/blues artists and brought into one good artsy package. Well done Also if you would kindly look on my newest if you wouldn't mind.
Last edited by Eccer at Oct 29, 2013,
#3
I think I have to disagree with above user about "again's". I like it, it's unusual, and it fits.


nothing new and nothing true,
nothing broken and nothing spoken,


This is the rhyme, I don't care much for. Seems too easy, too simple.

Overall, I like this quite a bit. It is easy to picture, translates well. I would like to see a little more color in it, but it works.

So, well done.
"Pain or damage don't end the world nor despair, nor fuckin' beatings. The world ends when you're dead, until then you have more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back."