#1
well guys, i grew up on a farm, played piano growing up, really got into music and song writing. ended up going to iowa state for biochemistry, now i'm in grad school for plant biology, but i still play my guitar in my free time. im in love with the girl of my dreams but she's a few hours away. hopefully we can make it work in the future.

what's your life story?
#2
In western CT born and raised,
In my room is where I spent most of my room,
Fapping, and fapping, and fapping all cool,
While thinking about all the girls at school.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#3
Quote by theogonia777
In western CT born and raised,
In my room is where I spent most of my room,
Fapping, and fapping, and fapping all cool,
While thinking about all the girls at school.

Then my old science teacher, who was up to no good,
Starting cooking meth in my neighborhood
We made like one batch together and it was pretty damn fine
Now he's like "JESSE WE HAVE TO COOK" all the fucking time
🙈 🙉 🙊
#4
I'm an only child, who despite growing up under the poverty line, now lives a life of privileged alcoholism and luxury paid for by my parents because they're guilty of the things they did as I grew up.
Like podcasts? Listen to these!
BEER!
VIDEO GAMES!
MOVIES/GEEKY SHIT!

_______________________________________________
Last edited by zappp : Today at 4:20 PM. Reason: Suck on my balls, UG
#5
I was born in a town where the rivers flow free,
on a January night when the cold winds freeze,
I got an Irish name and an injury,
a blessing and a curse cast down on me,
ain't nobody got the blues like me.
"Pain or damage don't end the world nor despair, nor fuckin' beatings. The world ends when you're dead, until then you have more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back."
#6
I was born in Canada, lived in the states for awhile then moved back to Canada when I was 11 (now 23). I am a pastors daughter, however my dad has written two books against fundamentalism and he (over the last ten years) and I are both strongly agnostic. I am the youngest of five children, of whom the second youngest is 11 years older then me (same parents). I am a psychology major with a strong interest in neuropsychology and psychopathology. Aaaand I met my boyfriend of four years(lordbishek) right here on Ultimate-Guitar.
Quote by Mattron2000
Shadowenspirit,
Developmental Tamer.
Shadowenspirit,
Ancient Sandwich Crafter



I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it.


-Voltaire



So it is written.
#8
Stop right there, David Copperfield. If you're going back that far we need popcorn or something.
Quote by Todd Hart
Shooting your friends with a real gun is a definite faux pas.

Quote by mystical_1
Professor Plum in the Studio with a new Amp

Quote by snipelfritz
If only I were the only one at home right now. I don't need my parents asking who Mr. Wiggles is.
#9
Birth
poverty
child abuse
parental abandonment
therapy
responsible drug use
college
independence
more poverty
guitar
lady troubles
drug addiction
drug dealing
wealth
more drug addiction
sobriety
responsible drug use
investment
in the black
loss
in the red
irresponsible drug use
sobriety
student loans
occasional drug use

And that's where I'm at right now
#10
So I was born in New Jersey, roundabouts Ocean City, but my parents were young-ish, and we wound up moving around a lot when I was little. I remember it getting pretty hard for a little because they had a business that failed and had to declare bankruptcy. However, my father and mother soon found solid careers and we were on our way to being normal middle class folks.

I did the normal K-12 thing. Somewhere along the way I liked metal music too much, fell in love with a kid who by the time we were both adults couldn't marry, and started doing everything I possibly could to try and be sixteen forever.

I graduated high school, and would get a job in a supermarker that would last too long. I got through community college and then a university. My friends along the way discovered drugs and alcohol, and my two remaining closest friends shimmied through different friend groups until we found a new friend group.

I fell in love again, this time with my best friend. We dated for a while, but things quickly fell apart, and I'm still way depressed about things. I couldn't find a job in my field after Uni, and I quit my grocery store job to take the aforementioned girlfriend and my other friend and his girlfriend half way across the country to see my best friend who was, too, about to graduate.

So the summer progresses, and I start to run out of money. I get worried about how I'm going to eat now that I'm an impulsive jobless ******. I start applying to places like Game Stop (with a college degree). Eventually my friend gets me in at his job, and I can pay my bills again.

Now I need to fall in love one more time and get married.

So that's me, and how I came to be here in the shortest nutshell.
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
#11
born in philly
got a puppy
dad was abusive drug addict/alcoholic, pulled guns on family/beat everyone on the daily
dad tried to kill himself in front of me, asking if it was what i wanted
i peaced out of that house and moved to my moms
started guitar
middle school was aight
got a girlfriend
got a kitten
graduated high school
broke up with girlfriend
search for job begins
got back together with ex
search for job continues
found an abandoned kitten
broke up with ex again/realized ex was sort of bonkers
got a different girlfriend
got a rabbit
job search continues
got three more kittens

life's p good
#12
I was born

I'd rather not share my childhood because it sucked.

been depressed my whole life.

Failed to kill myself four times.

Can't even do that right.

Girlfriend left me for another person.

I was/can still be considered an addict.

life sucks

Never done anything worth mentioning.

Quote by theogonia777
In western CT born and raised,
In my room is where I spent most of my room,
Fapping, and fapping, and fapping all cool,
While thinking about all the girls at school.


Quote by entity0009
Then my old science teacher, who was up to no good,
Starting cooking meth in my neighborhood
We made like one batch together and it was pretty damn fine
Now he's like "JESSE WE HAVE TO COOK" all the fucking time


Wonderful 15/10 would bang
ayy lmao
Last edited by chookiecookie at Nov 2, 2013,
#13
Quote by chookiecookie

Never done anything worth mentioning.


You suck Joshua Garcia's dick like a pro. Like you've been doing it your whole life or were born to it. Or both.
#14
idk lol
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#15
Quote by progdude93
You suck Joshua Garcia's dick like a pro. Like you've been doing it your whole life or were born to it. Or both.


Is that a joke or are you trying to be a dick?

I can't tell.

seriously.

It's like you can't turn it off.
ayy lmao
#16
Quote by chookiecookie
Is that a joke or are you trying to be a dick?

I can't tell.

seriously.

It's like you can't turn it off.


#21
born
went to school
got really into chemistry
studied chemical engineering in college, got my PH.D in it
started a company with 2 others
didn't work out, sold my share of the company for $5000 (this turned out to be selling my children's birthright for measely few months rent)
relegated to teaching basic chemistry to snotty kids in high school and also working at a carwash for some stupid eyebrows-that-wont-quit
started coughing a lot one day and fainted
went to the doctor and found out I have lung cancer
deciding what i should do now...

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#25
To begin, I was born in a military base on an island off the coast of Argentina known as the Falkland Islands. But immediately after I was squeezed out through the muff, there was hassle. These Brits were on the island (like wtf?) The mother and the dad were fighting against them while I was being dragged along the dirt by my still attached umbilical cord. Then I just thought enough was enough. I grabbed a Bowie knife out of a dead Brit's body and cut my umbilical cord off. Then I grabbed a 9mm Browning handgun and shot any filthy Brit that came in my way. I made my way to an airport runway, where there were Brits waiting for me. There was this big buff guy who was walking towards me like he had phonebooks under his arms. I did a cartwheel and then a backflip and kicked him in the chin mid-flight. He dropped to the ground. The other men saw what I did to him and they looked on, stunned. "Any of you chilitos want some more?" I said, with my arms outstretched to my sides. They ran off.
I made my way towards a parked plane on the runway. I saw a limey starting up the plane attempting to escape the wrath of a 10-minute-old baby. "Oh no you ****ing don't", I exclaimed. I sprinted towards the plane but it was making its way up into the sky. I squatted down and then sprung up. I was getting higher and higher towards the plane. I landed on the top with a metallic thud. As I crawled towards the windscreen the pom saw me and looked in horror. I smashed the window with my tiny baby fists and pulled him out. I dragged him to the top of the plane and gave him left hooks, right hooks, uppercuts, every kind of punch that existed. I pulled a grenade out of his pocket and pulled the pin out and shoved the grenade into his mouth. "Tell Margaret Tatcher I said 'Hi'". And I kicked him off the plane. He was falling rapidly towards the depleted land. Then. Boom. He exploded like a Twin Tower. I swung back into the plane that somehow managed to stay in flight. I made my way north east towards a land known as Ireland.
After a 14 hour flight I crashed landed into Dáil Eireann. I shagged a secretary with my 12 inch baby dick and gave her AIDS. Then I knocked up Bono and molested Louis Walsh. Because they're both faggots anyway, amirite?

Nothing interesting happened after that. I was adopted by a family of blacks where I stole a guitar from some pasty white kid and I played it continuously after that. I still impregnate women and molest men but sometimes I wonder how my family back in the Falklands are.
#27
I have travelled the world many times over.

I am fluent in four languages.

I was born near the Frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field.

I have lived in 8 US States.

I have lived in 4 other countries.

My family is awesome.

My girlfriend is hot.

I got a kick ass job that gives me everything I could ask for.

I got 3 bank accounts that are just stuffed with cash.

I drive a car that is 25 years old.

Life is good.
#28
Quote by entity0009
Then my old science teacher, who was up to no good,
Starting cooking meth in my neighborhood
We made like one batch together and it was pretty damn fine
Now he's like "JESSE WE HAVE TO COOK" all the fucking time


Interestingly I used to go to Catholic school and so we would go to the church and stuff all the time. The head guy at that church was arrested like a year ago on meth charges, among other things. Dude was making like 7000 a day or whatever.

Just go look up Kevin Wallin on Google for more information.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
Last edited by theogonia777 at Nov 2, 2013,
#29
Born to a single mother. Grew up a quiet but very happy child. Took up guitar and skateboarding in my early teens, and felt like King of the World until I got depressed when I was 16. Went to Glasgow Uni to do Maths when I was 17. Punched Rody Walker in the balls. Graduated, work a shitty job. Probably never use my degree. More insane than ever. 23.

There.
Quote by neidnarb11890
the chinese take-out place my family always ordered from gave you chopsticks, so as a kid it was fun to try & eat with chopsticks
now i just use a fork, 'cuz nothing is fun anymore & i just want to shovel food into my mouth to fill the void
#32
Born
Raised in Levittown, PA
Dad is bipolar and alcoholic, used to do landscaping on a professional level
Mom is a nurse
Dad is an Aryan with jungle fever
Grew up with two little brothers.
Dad would beat us and was a mean guy but he loved us. He's mentally ****ed because of the alcoholism and bipolar. It's a lethal combination.
Life was normal till 2005.
Mom went to a party and got super drunk.
Dad found her and freaked out.
That led to a few days of chaos.
They split that summer.
We all moved.
Dad started to get real manipulative and we all shut him out of our lives.
We've been living paycheck to paycheck for pretty much the last 5 years.
They finally got their shit figured out and got divorced this summer.
My little brother, the middle child, started to show serious signs of misbehavior.
He was lighting shit on fire and drinking and all that shit.
He spent 3 years of his life in juvi for armed robbery and drugs.
In 2010 we were evicted from our apartment because Dad got into a fight with the maintenance man. New land lord pretty much looked at Mom's financial record and the fight and pretty much said **** this family, leave.
We were homeless for the month of December. We lived in a hotel, so it wasn't like out on the street or in a shelter homeless but when 4 people are sharing two beds because of circumstances outside of their power and you don't have a place to call home, you feel pretty ****ing low.
We moved into a house three days after Christmas.
Since then I've been in college for Cinema/Video
I'm transferring to Temple in the spring and going into their broadcasting major.
The goal is to be a camera man at the Linc or the Wells Fargo Center for any of the sports teams.

And on a lighter more funnier note. The past few weeks, my little brother has had a heroin addict with a budding tattoo career over our house. He's been giving out cheep tattoos in the shed, but they are pretty decent from what I've seen. He doesn't live here but when he's here there's usually a million people outback.

That's pretty much it.
Last edited by Jako215 at Nov 2, 2013,
#33
Raised by bears. Seriously.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
Last edited by JustRooster at Nov 2, 2013,
#34
Born in Russia.
Fight bear as child to survive.
Eat many bear.
Work for government, make many toilet.
Sell toilet, make many money.
Live happy after.
Россия!
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#35
You think you had a hard childhood? Well, f*** you, it's got nothing on mine. Mum practically kicked my ass out the house before I even hit 13, and I never even met my Dad. My only friend till I was 10 was the prick next door who was always beating the s*** out of me and saying I'm worthless. It's not even like I had a choice, the town f***ing had something like 9 people living in it, I s**t you not. My entire adolescence was just moving from place to place trying to get along with people who didn't even want me.

You think that's the worst? My only friend was an Asian guy in his thirties or something, who only kept me around because he thought I could help him get laid. The only perk was I also got to hang around with this cute ginger chick, she was flat as a pancake sure, but damn she was a total nymph. She must have been a sadist or something cause she always took pleasure in hitting me and telling me how she loved to get wet.

But dear god the bane of my existence was this adult couple I could NOT seem to avoid. You know these types of couples who are absolutely sickening, like they wear matching outfits and finish each others sentences? Yeah they were f***ing creepers, and they had a cat, which was at least twice as annoying as they were, I swear this thing would never shut the f*** up.

Like I said I ended up moving from town to town getting into fights with other kids my age, even adults from time to time. The only thing that kept me going was my dream of becoming a Pokemon Master.
You hit 'em and they get back up
I hit 'em and they stay down
- Frank Castle