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#1
Just had a few interesting things happen in my lectures today, and was wondering if UG had some good stories on the subject.

First off, in my 10:20 class some chick's cell phone went absolutely batshit insane and started calling random people in her contacts on max volume speaker phone, naturally the entire class of over 300 stopped and stared at her as she tried to get her shit together. It wasn't fixing anything, so she grabbed her things and stormed out. Not too crazy, but it was funny to hear her try to explain what was happening to the people on the other line while trying to avoid losing it completely.


Later in my 2:40, some kid like two rows in front of me was on thepiratebay on his laptop. Those who have been to the site recently know why this could create an awkward situation in the class, in addition to him being ****ing stupid and torrenting on school wifi.

Well, my professor in that class is this perverted 50-something dude who often walks around the classroom while giving examples (he has to do this a lot, it's a business law class). On his way back up to the front of the class he caught a glimpse of the kid's laptop screen, stopped talking and just stood there watching it for a solid 10 seconds.

The entire class kinda went silent and then started nervously laughing when they realized what he was looking at (this class is like 30 people). Basically he asked the kid to explain himself and after he did he just kinda chuckled and walked up to the front of the class saying "Nice" under his breath.

Pretty uneventful overall, but just something you don't see every day and I thought it was pretty funny.


Got any stories?
Last edited by Rockford_rocks at Nov 5, 2013,
#2
My mate had a wank in a detention. He didn't think anyone knew. We knew.
#3
Once someone upper middle class married someone middle middle class.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#4
In middle school kid lit his pants on fire for a split second in class while the teacher was gone. After the fire was out the teacher walked in.

I got nothing recently.
#5
There was a substitute maths teacher called Mrs Mahbouba. I nearly shit myself laughing and managed to calm down with the logic that perhaps it was pronounce Muh-Bow-Buh. Then, "HELLO EVERYBODY MY NAME IS MRS MAH BOOBAAAH". I carried on laughing. I ended up getting kicked out because I still couldn't stop laughing.

Typing this out it really doesn't sound funny at all, but at the time it was the best thing ever.
#6
I once had a substitute teacher who wouldn't say any of my classmates' names correctly when he called the roll

It's pronounced Aaron, not Ay-ay-ron.
#9
Quote by Extra Ordinary
Anyone accidentally call their teacher 'mom' before?
So awkward.
It happens more often than most care to admit.
#10
One time I called one of my teachers by the name of another teacher that I never had

I've also called a few "mom"
#11
Our WebDev teacher in my last year of uni was sexting with his mistress (his wife also worked at the university) on Facebook on the big screen projector in the middle of class without realising the projector was on. Reading a 50 year old married man writing well formed perverse statements while talking to you about REST is weird. I'll never get the line 'the thought of you sitting on my face turns me on very much' out of my head.
Oh how I hope there are UWE students reading this thread
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#12
In high school we did all sorts of insane shit. Central European moral standards are completely somewhere else than the American.
#13
Quote by chaoticfables
I once had a substitute teacher who wouldn't say any of my classmates' names correctly when he called the roll

It's pronounced Aaron, not Ay-ay-ron.

You had Mr.Garvey too?
#14
Quote by chaoticfables
I once had a substitute teacher who wouldn't say any of my classmates' names correctly when he called the roll

It's pronounced Aaron, not Ay-ay-ron.


Were they foreign? I know in some countries Aaron would be pronounced 'ah-ah-ron'
#16
Back in highschool though I was always a good kid and never really got in trouble, but I hung with kids who did. Our hilarious childish antics included me pissing all over the floor in the hallway during class, doing that cut soda cap making it fly off really fast thing at people in the library, ripping up shit tons of paper and throwing them like confetti in the stairwells, and our yearly winter pranks of punching out all the window screens in the hallway by the gym so it's insanely colder than usual, and having epic snowball fights during it.


All you had to be there to find funny, but meh. Good mostly harmless fun times.
#17
Quote by Extra Ordinary
Anyone accidentally call their teacher 'mom' before?
So awkward.


I think everyone has done that, usually when they've just started going to school. It's funnier when the teacher is male though.
#18
1: Some kid shit himself whilst sat down in science class. The poop made it's way upwards and emerged over the top of his pants and just sat there. The rest of the poop was under enough pressure to be propelled through the mesh of his pants.
I've never smelt crap that bad either.

2: We had something called a "resource base", which was basically a school for disabled kids. One day a kid with downs made a break for it across the school field and was being chased by one of the assistants from the base. They'd left the door open though and the rest of the disabled kids decided to run after the assistant. Before we knew it we were watching our head teacher, a fat teaching assistant and a PE teacher trying to round them up. The best bit was that we were sat in our science class (again) and our teacher was cheering the disabled kids on.
Silverburst
#19
We removed a "don't dump" sign and placed it outside the school toilets, which our 13 year old selves thought was at the height of wit.
#20
In high school, a kid with down syndrome was jerking it in a stall with the doors open. Every single dude walking past that bathroom stopped and called one of their friends over.
#21
Quote by modus operandi
We removed a "don't dump" sign and placed it outside the school toilets, which our 13 year old selves thought was at the height of wit.


I'm almost 20 and that still seems funny to me
I'm gonna suffer for the rest of my life

But I will always find a way to survive
#22
Spent the majority of my DE English (what they call 200-level english in high school) finishing Mega Man 1-4,and one day I forgot to mute my laptop

that's all i really got
--

How do you say "I'm okay" to an answering machine?

--
#23
Not really funny just really annoying.

This girl in one of my lectures is the type of feminist/SJW who gives others a bad name. We had a lecture about McDonald's recently and the prof mentioned that Singapore has the most Mcdonalds outlets per capita in the world or something. So this girl actually stood up and went on some long tirade against skinny people who eat McDonald's (which is like the majority of people here lol) and said that they are destroying themselves from the inside out and if other people get fat from it it isn't fair that these people don't and that everyone who is thin and eats McDonald's is probably bulimic and that McDonald's should be banned for indoctrinating children into hating fat people

I don't even know why she felt it was necessary to talk about this because none of it made sense.
cat
#24
Quote by guitarxo
Not really funny just really annoying.

This girl in one of my lectures is the type of feminist/SJW who gives others a bad name. We had a lecture about McDonald's recently and the prof mentioned that Singapore has the most Mcdonalds outlets per capita in the world or something. So this girl actually stood up and went on some long tirade against skinny people who eat McDonald's (which is like the majority of people here lol) and said that they are destroying themselves from the inside out and if other people get fat from it it isn't fair that these people don't and that everyone who is thin and eats McDonald's is probably bulimic and that McDonald's should be banned for indoctrinating children into hating fat people

I don't even know why she felt it was necessary to talk about this because none of it made sense.


all of my wat
I'm gonna suffer for the rest of my life

But I will always find a way to survive
#25
Quote by stratman_13
Spent the majority of my DE English (what they call 200-level english in high school) finishing Mega Man 1-4,and one day I forgot to mute my laptop

that's all i really got


That's exactly how I spent my Chinese literature classes last year

Needless to say I did not do well in them.
#26
My friend and I would often play battleshits and drink beer during first period in our senior year in highschool. It was tough because we had the same 1st period class, and the teacher only let us go one at a time. So he would go into class first, and I just wouldn't go, and we'd go to the bathroom together after he was excused. One day, we both went to class. I heard him fart across the room, so I knew what we had to do. We looked at each other and nodded. My friend raises his hand and asks to use the bathroom. The teacher sighs and lets him go. I count to 30 then raise my hand. The teacher looks at me and blurts out "Must you two shit together every day during my class?" I confidently said "yes", and he says "alright, fine. You might as well."

Another time, I was sitting in class talking with my friends. The room was arranged with 5 groups of 6 desks forming these little islands around the room. Me and my jerkoff friends formed one of these islands. We were doing "group work" (talking amongst ourselves). We were comparing two of our really ****ing hot teachers. I stand up to stretch. I stretch, yawn, and then rub my chest while saying "I would definitely **** Ms.P". My friends laugh. I turn around and see my teacher along with "Ms. P" staring right at me (keep in mind I was still rubbing my breasts). Ms. P was obviously very embarrassed (so was I lol) and my teacher was cracking up. I still get teased for it.
FORZA CATANIA
Last edited by jonathan666666 at Nov 5, 2013,
#27
A teacher took my friend's phone and found a video of his girlfriend sucking him off on it. And he just wanted to see what he was texting
#30
Last week we were discussing breakfast items placed on a competitive map and this girl tried answering the question to our prof. The prof is a no bull, serious business, hates his job and students but is the best at his job kind of guy. The girl tried to describe the axes on the map and kept on saying flavour ran along the horizontal axis but the prof rebutted everything she said. It took about half an hour for him to tell her she was too vague. All the while the class was just as confused and I was laughing. Poor girl was so passionate about her work and was torn to shreds.
#31
So our math teachers in HS decided to change the structure of the course exam. We got to know about it via message and the later day when we discussed it in class, a few of our students start to read out an actual law/act roughly stating that they can't change the structure of studies without consulting the students first.

We found it hilarious.
#33
In sixth grade math, I unloaded with a barrage of long, loud farts. Needless to say, I was the laughing stock of the whole class, and the teacher called me "The Gas Man."

Also in first grade, I pissed my pants.
Quote by Kikuta
Sell your Valvestate to brainless 17 year old for mighty sums of dollars. Purchase a JMP for a pittance from a desperate seller. Masturbate to pictures of yourself and your new, real Marshall. Eternal glory awaits.

Last edited by rocknrolldude43 at Nov 6, 2013,
#34
High school Latin class, we are regularly asked to "Copy, Label, Translate" things (copy the sentence, label the parts of speech, translate to latin). So the 10 of us or so who were actually dumb enough to try and learn a dead language walk in and get started on this Latin paragraph written on the black board beneath the letters C L T. The only hot girl walks into the class a few minutes late, looks at the board, yells out "What's CLIT?". Before any of us can even begin to laugh, witty guy in the back says "I'll show you after class". And then we all died, even the teacher.

Man, what I would give to go back in time and show that girl how to work her clit...
Listen. I'm sorry.
Last edited by vilk at Nov 6, 2013,
#35
Kid fell asleep in a 300 person anthropology lecture. Started snoring loudly. Loud enough that the professor heard and it threw her off every time. It took her 20 minutes to get through a single slide. Finally, a TA comes to wake him up, and he threw up EVERYWHERE.

That's the problem with 9am Friday classes
#36
My first day of high school I saw about thirty students in groups out in the central courtyard in the middle of the school, smoking cigarettes.

I said to one of the sophomores I knew, "wow they let the kids smoke cigarettes out there?" He answered, "those aren't cigarettes."

The "golden age" changed dramatically in the nineties probably cause of crack, but i'll still never forget it.
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
Sadly this is Ultimate-guitar, not Simple-guitar. We can't help you.


#37
Quote by K'Nuckles
There was a substitute maths teacher called Mrs Mahbouba. I nearly shit myself laughing and managed to calm down with the logic that perhaps it was pronounce Muh-Bow-Buh. Then, "HELLO EVERYBODY MY NAME IS MRS MAH BOOBAAAH". I carried on laughing. I ended up getting kicked out because I still couldn't stop laughing.

Typing this out it really doesn't sound funny at all, but at the time it was the best thing ever.


Oh god I used to work at a school with a maths teacher of that name

Where did this happen?
#38
We were sitting in a professionalism class in music college. A guest speaker was speaking about promoting yourself and your bands.

A guy goes "My band is playing a show at _____ at 8:00 pm"

so the speaker says "you need to say it with more authority and confidence. tell everyone how great your band is!"

so the guy goes "My band is the best thing since BIG TITS!" nice and loud

probably the most awkward moment ive ever had in a class
Quote by The Spoon
Unless you're sure she likes you, telling her you like her has a 110% chance of failing.

But hey, at least you have a 10% chance of absolutely guaranteeing failure.
#39
Quote by jonathan666666
My friend and I would often play battleshits and drink beer during first period in our senior year in highschool. It was tough because we had the same 1st period class, and the teacher only let us go one at a time. So he would go into class first, and I just wouldn't go, and we'd go to the bathroom together after he was excused. One day, we both went to class. I heard him fart across the room, so I knew what we had to do. We looked at each other and nodded. My friend raises his hand and asks to use the bathroom. The teacher sighs and lets him go. I count to 30 then raise my hand. The teacher looks at me and blurts out "Must you two shit together every day during my class?" I confidently said "yes", and he says "alright, fine. You might as well.'

True friends synchronize their BMs
#40
Quote by British_Steal
We were sitting in a professionalism class in music college. A guest speaker was speaking about promoting yourself and your bands.

A guy goes "My band is playing a show at _____ at 8:00 pm"

so the speaker says "you need to say it with more authority and confidence. tell everyone how great your band is!"

so the guy goes "My band is the best thing since BIG TITS!" nice and loud

probably the most awkward moment ive ever had in a class


...That made it awkward? In 95% of the classes I've had that would've made the entire class laugh at least a little. Tough crowd I guess.
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