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#1
basically, this is a tread of those jokes that are so bad that theyre funny, but normal people dont appreciate them

anywhere from corny puns to anti-humor, its all good here!

why did steve have to leave the seafood disco early? because he pulled a mussel!
#3
Quote by Thrill-house
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Robin, get in the car.


sig'd
banned
#4
Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#6
Quote by lolmnt
Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220

I hope you didn't type all of this out. Please.....
#10
Quote by Primus2112
*comic*


omfg that was great.

someone posted this on here yesterday or something, related.

#14
tfw you think your dad is pretty funny and then later realize that most of your casual/everyday jokes are dad jokes.
#15
Quote by Dregen
omfg that was great.

someone posted this on here yesterday or something, related.



-right click save-

I can see this coming in handy down the line...
Seattle Seahawks


Quote by chookiecookie
i feel like you have an obsession with aubrey plaza.


Quote by WCPhils
at least we can all agree SGstriker is the woooooooooooooooooooooorst
#17
Whats the opposite of Christopher Walken?

Christopher Reeve.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#18
I was planning to post a bad joke, but after reading all the others, I'm not too convinced if it's still bad :p here it is anyway: I have many jokes about unemployed people. None of them work.
"Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space."
-Douglas Adams
#19
Quote by lolmnt
Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220

7 is a registered 6 offender.
#20
Quote by EpiExplorer
Whats the opposite of Christopher Walken?

Christopher Reeve.

I've always heard it the other way.

So...

A pirate walks into a bar with his dick hanging out, and on his dick, is a steering wheel.

The bartender says, "Hey, what's up with the steering wheel?

And the pirate replies, "Arrr. It's drivin' me nuts!"
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#23
The bartender says to the horse "why the long face?".
Not sure if a sig is a necessity.
#24
What's the best time to go to the dentist?
Tooth Hurty.


Helen Keller walks into a bar...
Then a chair, then a wall.


What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
Last edited by azrael667 at Nov 9, 2013,
#29
Q. What do you call an egoistical fish?
A. Selfish!

Q. What do you call egoistical men who run a fish stand?
A. Selfish men who sell fish!
Quote by Kill A Kitten
You know that old saying: "Men who play bass in the band have the largest genitalia." Well, it's the same for women.
#31
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.


Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was nailed to the first.


What's white and can't climb trees?

A fridge.


What's blue and can't climb trees?

A blue fridge.


What's red and sits in the corner?

A naughty strawberry?
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#32
so a pirate has a wheel on his crotch, he walks into a bar and the bartender notices it, the bar tender asks "What's up with the stirring wheel on your crotch?" The pirate replies "Arg, it's driving me nuts."
#33
Elephant jokes:

What's grey and has four legs and a trunk?
An elephant.

What's brown and has four legs and a trunk?
An elephant.

What's purple and has four legs and a trunk?
A hippo on vacation.

How do you shoot a red elephant?
With a red elephant gun.

How do you shoot a blue elephant?
Paint it red and shoot it with a red elephant gun.

How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
With a yellow elephant gun.

How do you shoot a green elephant?
Don't be silly. There's no such thing.

What's grey, has four legs, and weighs about as much as an elephant?
A rhinoceros.

How do you know if you have an elephant in your garage?
You open it up and look.

How do you know if you have two elephants in your garage?
You open it up and look.

How do you know if you have three elephants in your garage?
The garage door won't close because there are too many elephants.


The key to elephant jokes is that they are designed to have similar jokes told in order. The other person assumes there is some pattern, but then you can easily change it. They fall under the category of jokes where they are only funny to the person telling the jokes or to people that understand the concept, whereas they are frustrating and annoying to whomever the joke is being told to.


This joke is my favorite to tell, and works on a similarly anticlimactic principle.

http://vimeo.com/12442243
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
Last edited by theogonia777 at Nov 9, 2013,
#35
Quote by pAWNlol
why did steve have to leave the seafood disco early? because he pulled a mussel!

Who's Steve? I need more background.

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


Quote by metal4eva_22
Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

Quote by Axelfox
It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#36
A white guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Wow, that's really cool, where did you get it?"

"Poland," says the parrot.
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
Sadly this is Ultimate-guitar, not Simple-guitar. We can't help you.


#37
Why do scuba divers jump backwards into the water?
Because if they went forwards, they'd crash into the boat.


One of my all time favorite joke
PS: I translated it, so I hope it still works :p
#38
How do you know if a leper has used your shower?

Your bar of soap has grown.
Quote by Pagan_Poetry
Sadly this is Ultimate-guitar, not Simple-guitar. We can't help you.


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