#1
with a deep breath
i could concoct your world
out of molecules
and valencies.

the sudden rush
from this fossil lung
could fill you with me.

i could love you
if you just let me

if you just let me
if you just let me

if you just let me
i could l[ ]overyou

with a swell
of air and vacuum.

this fragile universe
i entrust in you
for you are mine.

but this fossil lung
huffs and puffs dust
and disease and famine.

the crops haven't grown
here for millennia
and we are starving
for nourishment.

fossils of maize
and cobs washed away
by my wretched ignorance

poor old fossil lung
poor old thing

if you just let me


just let me


breathe
#2
wow i really liked how this developed. i found the strikethrough a bit odd, and the hyphenated part, but really the pacing and the diction was just fantastic. such a strong piece. thank you for it,.
#3
This really is great, I also think the strikethrough is jarring but I kind of feel you meant it to be. I enjoyed this.
#4
Good stuff sir.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#5
This is transcribed as close as I could get it to how it was written, hence the strikethrough, when I tried two different things and liked both.

Thank you for WOTW.