Hey guys,

I came up with this one while jamming at home.
Didn't take me too long, but it came together pretty naturally.

Tell me what you think, C4C if you wish.
song2_111113 (2).gp5
hey man here's my crit

first off i wanna say that i deleted most of the parts and left the verse and some other unnamed part in and added my own chorus , if u like it u can use it , if you dont just ignore it

intro :
very standard and generic , its ok but not good

verse :
interesting , much more dynamic than your intro

pre-chorus :
again standard and generic and way to repeaty

chorus :
same as intro but a bit better , though i now notice that your drums are very very boring and standard also , which just adds to the boringness of the song

part after chorus ? ( please name your sections for easier commenting )
the same but even more boring drums ? please delete this part

break :
again very boring and standard

verse :
again good stuff only part worth keeping so far imo.

pre-chorus :
same as before

chorus / after chorus ? :
same as before , at this point the song is just dragging on and on without any build up or release or interesting melody/rhytm/dynamics

break ?
ok this part is also good and works well with the verse i think.

delete everything after this , since its more of the same and nothing new ,
nor are there any hooks or leads to keep me interested.

ok so your drum bass kick is off beat a lot , and not in a good way , i feel like most of the song was very standard and boring , your drums are way to standard ( im not a drummer either )

but this just lacks a lot and like i said i deleted most parts and made a short version with better progression imo , i suggest coming up with a melody over the chorus i wrote and maybe that will give you new ideas

anyway i exported the gpx to gp5 from some site so i dont know if it works let me know and good luck with this since it had potential if you keep working on it

can you crit Unsung Heroes for me ? its in my sig
Last edited by MobiuZ at Nov 18, 2013,
Quote by Faretsi
Holy mother of red bars

Very useful. They are simply red because GP5 decides to put a unneccessary quarter pause in there. As you could have noticed, the timing or sound is not affected at all.

@ Mobiuz,

thx for the hints, i will consider rewriting some of the parts.
I would say that it's well written, but it lacks creativity. What I mean is, the riffs all make sense, and they transition coherently, but this sounds like a metal band that wants to (and could) be on the radio and does it by imitating a sound that bands like Trivium and Bullet For My Valentine sucked all the life out of many years ago. Basically, it seems you know what you're doing, but you need to raise your goals.