#1
Good evening S&L, I haven't posted in here since I was like twelve, so like 6-7 years ago. Good to be back.

Anyways, I am currently in a band called Lowlives and our music is kind of in the same vein as At the Drive-In/Desaparacidos/Built to Spill. Not saying we copy them, just a similar sound and feeling sonically. Anyways, here's a video of us playing this love if you'd like to see it, this song is called Nature/Nurture and it's about your purpose in life. That's right, you, yeah you! This song is about all that your life is supposed to accomplish. Procreate. C4C

Kill the summer sun,
Forgive everyone,
For being like the rest.

But then so am I,
And so are you,
Chasing nicer things,
And dollar signs.

Dissect,
Imitate,
Procreate,
You must be,
You must be fine.

Selling every inch of skin,
'Cuz money's hard to find,
Drowning in the luxury,
A secret middle class can't keep,
Blame it on human nature,
As dollar bills become your savior.
Doug the cactus rode the pavement for our sins.
#2
IF even I put this to the most metal riff, This song will suck. You know why because it doesn't have the flow there is no repetitive pattern it.

this might be the greatest metal song you ever wrote but right now if you sing this even to the perfect melody the time signatures will be off and this will cm across as a pretentious piece og vague imagery and nothing else

make it a sing along even if the lyrics are obscene
Hi
#3
Dude I think your lost or something. I don't play metal, infact I hate most metal. I'm not too sure about your Crit. But here's the song on time, not time signatures of no pretentiousness. Open up dude, not every song is a chug a chug whack off song.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=A709n-UT3Xc

But no, I'll Crit you once you submit a serious Crit. But I don't even play metal so blah that was nonsense.
Doug the cactus rode the pavement for our sins.
#5
Quote by abhishek21
IF even I put this to the most metal riff, This song will suck. You know why because it doesn't have the flow there is no repetitive pattern it.

this might be the greatest metal song you ever wrote but right now if you sing this even to the perfect melody the time signatures will be off and this will cm across as a pretentious piece og vague imagery and nothing else

make it a sing along even if the lyrics are obscene


Shut up.


Quote by Psychadillybar


Kill the summer sun,
Forgive everyone,
For being like the rest.

But then so am I,
And so are you,
Chasing nicer things,
And dollar signs.

Dissect,
Imitate,
Procreate,
You must be,
You must be fine.

Selling every inch of skin,
'Cuz money's hard to find,
Drowning in the luxury,
A secret middle class can't keep,
Blame it on human nature,
As dollar bills become your savior.



I thought it was killer until the last stanza hit. Everything just seemed to become a bit obvious and forced. You lost that apathetic and off kilter descriptive feel you had with the first little couple of verses there. The mood you set was perfect for your sound, I thought. Easy to bop in your head to a two chord strummer as you sing it to yourself on the walk to work...

The last bit kind of killed all that and went really wrote-my-first-college-protest-song-ish.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER