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#1
Hi there,

I don't post much but I need to ask a serious question and I hope I could get some serious replies. Basically, I'm a 25 year old male who has no friends.

This is all my fault, due to previous relationship problems and a bout of crippling depression making me no fun to be around. I'm not down and out though, I've still got the motivation to try and improve (medication, counselling and also excercise) as a person but I'm feeling extremely lonely.

What can a guy like me do to make friends in my local area without feeling like an utter fool?

Thank you,

Mark
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#2
Well since you got motivation to exercise start by taking classes at your local gym and you can meet people there
#4
I don't play basketball. :p I tried a pool league though, unfortunately lost in the first few rounds.
"2,000,000 NPS Whores" club.
Appreciating the beauty of music so fast it blows puny mortal's faces off.
Bow down to teh Shredzor!
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#6
laziest way is at work. if you feel trapped as an introvert at your current job, maybe see what other jobs are out there.
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#7
Do stuff. The more you like what you go out and do, the more you'll like the people.

Take it from a guy with no friends.
#8
Ask your work friends to hang out outside of work.
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#9
I must mention, after my expenses are taken into account I have about £100 a month to myself, so the drink option's out.

EDIT: I have no idea how to ask friends at work to hang out outside of work. I've been there for about a year now and never let people know I'm feeling down. They assume I have friends. Any ideas? Thanks for all of the great suggestions though.
"2,000,000 NPS Whores" club.
Appreciating the beauty of music so fast it blows puny mortal's faces off.
Bow down to teh Shredzor!
PM La Qotsa if you want to join. No emotion? Pah!
Last edited by Arpeggio X at Nov 24, 2013,
#10
Would avoid bars, if I were you.

The gym, as previously stated is a good place to start.
I dunno much else though. My parents don't have many friends, and me in my early adulthood don't have too many either. So I'm not the best person to give advice in this department.
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#12
I honestly have no idea. I've had pretty much the same group of friends for quite a while now, and don't really know what I would do if I all of the sudden had to make new friends.

Man, I would be ****ed if that happened :/
___

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she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#13
Quote by WCPhils
I honestly have no idea. I've had pretty much the same group of friends for quite a while now, and don't really know what I would do if I all of the sudden had to make new friends.

Man, I would be ****ed if that happened :/

Yeah, I can never even remember how I've made pretty much all my friends. It's weird. They're just kinda there
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#14
Aye, I had the same group of mates throughout college. All of a sudden I look around and everyone's grown apart and had kids and shit. I've had a look round some sites but all of the social events near to me are filled with OAPS. :p Anyone reckon I should try clubbing by myself? Or is that way too ****ing creepy?
"2,000,000 NPS Whores" club.
Appreciating the beauty of music so fast it blows puny mortal's faces off.
Bow down to teh Shredzor!
PM La Qotsa if you want to join. No emotion? Pah!
#15
Quote by WCPhils
I honestly have no idea. I've had pretty much the same group of friends for quite a while now, and don't really know what I would do if I all of the sudden had to make new friends.

Man, I would be ****ed if that happened :/


yeah ive known the same people (save for the couple i met this year) since i moved here in 2005.

i dont really go out of my way to meet new people
#17
Quote by Arpeggio X
Aye, I had the same group of mates throughout college. All of a sudden I look around and everyone's grown apart and had kids and shit. I've had a look round some sites but all of the social events near to me are filled with OAPS. :p Anyone reckon I should try clubbing by myself? Or is that way too ****ing creepy?


Give it a shot.

Creepy? I don't think so.

I think the older you get, the more straight forward it gets with meeting in clubs with chicks. However, don't be surprised if the guys there are just looking for girls.

Plus, it's not the best place to socialize since it's so loud. But you can give it a shot.

Quote by Bob_Sacamano
Yeah, I can never even remember how I've made pretty much all my friends. It's weird. They're just kinda there


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#19
But how would I go about finding a reliable supplier? Do you think he would be my best bud? ...
"2,000,000 NPS Whores" club.
Appreciating the beauty of music so fast it blows puny mortal's faces off.
Bow down to teh Shredzor!
PM La Qotsa if you want to join. No emotion? Pah!
#20
It just so happens that I really want to go for brunch, but everyone around me is asleep/at work

Too bad you don't live here!

EDIT: Seems like there's tons of UGers in the UK, participate in some discussion here, make some friends and organize a meet up.
#21
I am so in your boat there, i'm 30 and i've come to realise that because I get down a bit that in the past I haven't kept comittment and when I have done sometimes I think it would be easier to rip my stomach open then attend so now I just avoid friends. It's not the people as it doesnt matter who it is. I lie to people at work when they ask me what I did on the week e nd to make me less of a sad. I dont know I just get out of breath and anxious.
#22
I tend to lie to my family as well as work colleagues. If they knew I spend all of this weekend sitting in my flat alone they'd probably want to stage some sort of ****ing intervention. I couldn't think of anything more horrifying. Hope things work out for you man, feel free to drop me a message if you fancy a chat.
"2,000,000 NPS Whores" club.
Appreciating the beauty of music so fast it blows puny mortal's faces off.
Bow down to teh Shredzor!
PM La Qotsa if you want to join. No emotion? Pah!
#25
Work and school are the easiest. I made friends when I was 23 in college and it was pretty easy, just people from classes. Work people too, find a group that gets along well and suggest some drinks after work or some group event. Outside of that it can be hard, you really need to be outgoing and funny and you can talk to people, but to get to actually hang with someone new is not easy, you need to talk long enough to find common interests. Clubs and the gym seem to be the best options, somewhere that you will see the same people over and over again and can bud up a buddy-ship. Or a record store if there is any around you

Good luck mang
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#26
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This.
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i feel like you have an obsession with aubrey plaza.


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at least we can all agree SGstriker is the woooooooooooooooooooooorst
#28
I'd like to think I am. Seeing them outside of work's the hard bit. How would I possibly phrase the idea of a bro-date?
"2,000,000 NPS Whores" club.
Appreciating the beauty of music so fast it blows puny mortal's faces off.
Bow down to teh Shredzor!
PM La Qotsa if you want to join. No emotion? Pah!
#29
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
Yeah, I can never even remember how I've made pretty much all my friends. It's weird. They're just kinda there

Exactly

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i dont really go out of my way to meet new people

same
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she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#30
Quote by Arpeggio X
I'd like to think I am. Seeing them outside of work's the hard bit. How would I possibly phrase the idea of a bro-date?



When you are laughing about something, or talking about something that is a common interest wait for a time where you are all into the same idea and suggest you go do something related to that thing one day. Feel the people out. Easiest way is find a sport you like and someone else likes. If it were me I would buy Leafs tickets (I'm from Toronto) and the next time someone is talking about the Leafs I would get into the conversation and offer whoever I thought was cool and easy to talk to to come to the game with me. Or concert tickets, some kind of event that the person would like.
Uncle aciD

&

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Do What Your Love Tells You
#32
Go take a class somewhere. Something arty perhaps.
Join a local drama group.
Join a guitar class.
Volunteer at a charity shop.

Be nice to people.
Say more than hello - like hello, how are you, haven't I seen you before?

etc
#33
Quote by PSimonR

Be nice to people.
Say more than hello - like hello, how are you, haven't I seen you before?

etc


But being nice to people freaks people out.

You're better off introducing yourself like this:

"Alrite der laaa, rekun u can lend uz a quid mate?"
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#35
Quote by Arpeggio X
I'd like to think I am. Seeing them outside of work's the hard bit. How would I possibly phrase the idea of a bro-date?

Just put yourself out there. Especially since you spend a lot of time with them, they'll be super supportive of you. When I had a rough breakup a few months ago, I was just straightup with my co workers and said that I needed to hang around new people and was lonely and they were super great and now some of my best friends. Just remember that these people are adults too, they're not going to treat you like a teenager and make fun of you or something for stuff like that.
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#36
Quote by PSimonR
Go take a class somewhere. Something arty perhaps.
Join a local drama group.
Join a guitar class.
Volunteer at a charity shop.



This is good advice.
Take a look at what hobbies you enjoy in your own time, and make those sociable. Join clubs with like minded people, or think of things you'd like as hobbies but don't have - and find social groups related to them.
Hell, even think of something completely out there like getting a skydiving license.
Anything that puts you in contact with people who you will probably get along with.
#37
Quote by Nero Galon
But being nice to people freaks people out.

lol
___

Quote by The_Blode
she was saying things like... do you want to netflix and chill but just the chill part...too bad she'll never know that I only like the Netflix part...
#38
It's waaay harder than it sounds to get the balls to join a class and just start talking to people. Bars suck, too. I'm 22 with few friends left in college miles away, and I'm younger than everyone I work with by 7+ years. It sucks.

I'd say just slowly work your way to being more outgoing. It's hard. Talk to record store clerks, fellow show-goers, etc. Try and start up conversations in easy situations and get your inner confidence showing.

Also though, take this time to thoroughly enjoy life. A lot of times social interaction takes you away from appreciating what's around you. Go to parks, draw stuff, sing, play something, whatever floats your boat. Find a few places to chill and take in the world.
#39
Most of the people iv met recently are from the dog park everyone's sitting around bored watching the dogs run around. Martial arts is another good option I took that for years and its easy to get people there to go watch a ufc fight with you.
#40
Quote by SFosterS
When you are laughing about something, or talking about something that is a common interest wait for a time where you are all into the same idea and suggest you go do something related to that thing one day. Feel the people out. Easiest way is find a sport you like and someone else likes. If it were me I would buy Leafs tickets (I'm from Toronto) and the next time someone is talking about the Leafs I would get into the conversation and offer whoever I thought was cool and easy to talk to to come to the game with me. Or concert tickets, some kind of event that the person would like.

leafs tickets? wanna go on a "bro-date" bro?
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