#1
I remembered you by your face, but now
I've kept your postures - the lines of focus between
your breath and mine are stippled, pinned gently
in tension like thinnest wire, you
pull and I
lean
forward


or do you
press and I
push
over?


I love to watch you stay afloat,
neck craned under your belly
miles above,
trying hardest not to
choke.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#2
there's something delicate and precise about this. "stippled" is a great word and i love how it brings another craft into writing. i hope you're doing well.
Last edited by brokencoastline at Nov 25, 2013,
#4
the rhyme of forward and over was so killer. it was tactful in such a beautiful way. i like the delicate precision here, like broken noted. nothing to gripe about here, thanks for the read.
#5
The last stanza would work wonderfully as a Part Two. Only because I thought the 2nd stanza was the perfect conclusion.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#8
thank you so much everyone, and thank you for the wotw. I hope you're all doing well. I am doing better than I have been, but time's always better with you than without.


btw, just an offer - if any of you get lonely during the winter and need to escape for a bit, I'd love to have a guest here in the Appalachians. my friends and house are warm.


Quote by JustRooster
The last stanza would work wonderfully as a Part Two. Only because I thought the 2nd stanza was the perfect conclusion.

I was considering this as well; thanks for the suggestion. I may rework this to end at the second stanza and use that last stanza for something else
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja