#1
Hey guys,

Is this sentence correct ?

"I have always worked in a team and my apprenticeship made me familiar with procedures such as driver debriefing and laws regarding road transport."

I feel like there's a gramatical error somewhere

thanks!
#2
I think you can do this a few ways.

I have always worked in a team, and my apprenticeship made me familiar with procedures; such as driver debriefing, and laws regarding road transport.

Based only on this sentence, your letter isn't looking very fancy.
"I think, as a musician, you should practice your technique to be as good as you need to be to facilitate whatever ideas come into your head."
- Devin Townsend
#3
yeah i know but it's just the "profile" part at the top of the cv, and it's for an english class in France
#4
Quote by Mind_Reader7
I think you can do this a few ways.

I have always worked in a team, and my apprenticeship made me familiar with procedures; such as driver debriefing, and laws regarding road transport.

Based only on this sentence, your letter isn't looking very fancy.

Pick one omg dude
#5
Quote by alans056
Hey guys,

Is this sentence correct ?

"I have always worked in a team and my apprenticeship made me familiar with procedures such as driver debriefing and laws regarding road transport."

I feel like there's a grammatical error somewhere

thanks!



It's a run on sentence. Split it in half or throw a semi-colon in there, like this:

I have always worked in a team. My apprenticeship made me familiar with (many?/what kind of?) procedures, including driver debriefing and laws regarding road transport.

I have always worked in a team; my apprenticeship made me familiar with (many?/what kind of?) procedures, including driver debriefing and laws regarding road transport.

I threw in a couple other suggestions to make it better - like maybe listing what kind of procedures you know how to do. Using jargon can look good for whatever employer you are looking at.
#6
Quote by Mind_Reader7
I think you can do this a few ways.

I have always worked in a team, and my apprenticeship made me familiar with procedures; such as driver debriefing, and laws regarding road transport.

Based only on this sentence, your letter isn't looking very fancy.

Can the semicolon really be used like this? It feels like it should be a comma there with the "such as".
#7
don't use a semi colon. "I have always worked in a team. My apprenticeship made me familiar with procedures such as driver debriefing and laws regarding road transport.
#8
I like this better:


"I work well with others and am a team player. In addition, my apprenticeship has been a valuable tool in helping me become proficient with many important procedures such as "driver debriefing" and the respective laws of "road transport."
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#9
Remember, punctuation in general is meant to reflect how you would say it IRL. A colon and semicolon are spoken differently.
"I think, as a musician, you should practice your technique to be as good as you need to be to facilitate whatever ideas come into your head."
- Devin Townsend
#10
Quote by alans056
Hey guys,

Is this sentence correct ?

"I have always worked in a team and my apprenticeship made me familiar with procedures such as driver debriefing and laws regarding road transport."

I feel like there's a gramatical error somewhere

thanks!



I have experience working in teams and my apprenticeship familiarized me with driver debriefing and road transport laws.



Simple. Precise. Cut out all the 'in addition' and 'such as' crap when you write these kinds of things. People can see right through it.
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#11
the sentence is technically correct but it's a little clumsy. if the "worked in a team" part is going to be elaborated on more than what you have here, i'd give it its own sentence. simple sentences aren't bad.
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#12
corporate language: how to say the least in the most amount of words
#13
Quote by StewieSwan

I have experience working in teams and my apprenticeship familiarized me with driver debriefing and road transport laws.



Simple. Precise. Cut out all the 'in addition' and 'such as' crap when you write these kinds of things. People can see right through it.

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#16
Quote by StewieSwan

I have experience working in teams and my apprenticeship familiarized me with driver debriefing and road transport laws.



Simple. Precise. Cut out all the 'in addition' and 'such as' crap when you write these kinds of things. People can see right through it.

Wha-bam. This.
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#17
Quote by Spaztikko
Pick one omg dude

This. It's grammatically fine, but its a stylistic mess.

Why does it have to be one sentence? The working in teams is one thought, and things you've learned in your apprenticeship is another thought.

I'd also change it up to say something like, "Over the course of my apprenticeship, I've learned THING 1, THING 2, as well as many other applicable skills."

Or something like that. Stay more straight-forward, its a cover letter, not prose.
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