#1
I'm on a roll? I don't know. I wrote this pretty quick too. Its the demented outcome of what happens when I'm trying to make a nice hip hop beat.....

and if you want me to check out your music just send a link, I dont mind pretty open to lots of different types of stuff too.

anyway here's the link and the lyrics


https://app.box.com/s/znwn5d3gnocq7vlp96qy


fear not you'll be just fine
walking around in a straight line
its not the right sign
its not the wrong time
but fear not you'll be just fine
you'll be walking around slow
like your in a gold mine
but all you are is in your own mind
and hey, hey its a great find
knowing you were behind

now you gotta unwind
but hey hey its a good sign
walking around in your own mind
like its a gold mine
and hey hey there was no light
now its all alright
and hey hey there was no light
now its all bright....

now your looking for police signs
cause your in your own mind
its a gold mine
hanging on a grape vine
its a good sign...is it a good sign? are you fine?

maybe you remind me
maybe your behind me
maybe you'll find me
but lately its so grinding.
The daily routines
all of your dreams
breaking from the seams
like giant laser beams

so what you wanna see?
so what you want from me?
so what you wanna be?
I just wanna be free
I just wanna be free
I just wanna be me
After all that's all I gotta to be.
#2
First off I like the way it swells in and gives an old-skool hiphop vibe! For the vocals I recommend you record every vocal very exact- as metronome tight as you can, I hear they're not always on key, so that's something you can work on. I love the chords and the vocal melody itself, could personally do without that 90's percussion (tooowwwwww) sound but that's up to you ofcourse. I also love the break and the ending; very very vibey, nice tones overall. What I mostly miss is clarity on each part, what comes where and how the dynamics are played out. I like the lyrics and the overall feel and it to me it sounds like you just have to keep on making tracks, because you have really great ideas.

Julio
#3
thanks for the advice! yeah I think the metronome tight thing would probably help a lot.
#4
Like other guy said awesome drums, guessing they're electronic, but cool choice. If this is your final recording the mixing isn't great, your vocals are a bit too quiet, they sound a little pitchy but no need to hide them, they're good. The little things you're doing with the synth are really cool they add a lot. I like the swelling sounds to break the sections. The rap you have sounds a little messy to me, it's hiding and distorting a sweet rap too. There's just a lot going on but I guess you're going for a kinda psychedelic vibe.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1625962