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#1
So, my girlfriend and I are on the down and out... but she doesn't know it yet. We've been together for over 2 years, lived together for 1, but now I'm finally moving out (signed the lease and payed the deposit), and though I haven't told her the reason it's basically because I'm tired of being tied down and I'm ready to be single and mangle some pussy without having to sneak around behind her back like I've done up till now. And you know, play guitar and masturbate and stuff. I dream of the paradise where I come home from work and don't have to listen or talk to anyone.

But I feel like christmas is the worst time to dump someone. And she's sooo sensitive, it's going to destroy her when I actually summon the courage to tell her I want out, so I can only imagine how bad she would feel if I did it right before christmas.

Now don't get me wrong--Even though I am done with the girl, I don't hate her. And I don't want to cause her pain. She really is a good person--she's just not right for me (or the other way around really). I know it's inevitable, but I figure I've been faking my feelings towards her for upwards of half a year so I can probably squeeze out another month so that she's not all alone on Christmas and new years... (blegh. It's going to be a long winter break).


Down to the point. I gotta get her something for Christmas. I know she already got me some stuff, probably spent too much money on it because she does that, and obviously I have to get her something because you know reciprocation yadayadayada. I don't think she got me anything outrageous, just a bottle of nice absinthe and a shirt, probably some other small thing I don't know about. If I wasn't going to break up with her, I'd probably drop a load on some nice gold jewelry. I still might, but honestly with moving and all I can hardly justify spending so much on a girl that I don't even want to be with. I owe it to her--she's been a good girlfriend to me. Should I spend empty-hearted money just to sate a hopeless romantic on a fake-feelinged christmas? Maybe I should cheapen it down so that it is slightly more reflective of what is to come?


tl;dr
What should I buy a girl who I'm only dating out of pity and plan to break up with soon after the holiday season for christmas?
Listen. I'm sorry.
#4
Ummm... Should probably just end it now. Christmas isn't for another 3 weeks, and not dumping someone because Christmas is coming up seems pretty stupid.

EDIT: Didn't see that you'd been cheating on her. You're a dick. You even said she's a nice girl and all that and you didn't wanna hurt her etc. Dick mate, big dick.
Last edited by vayne92 at Dec 5, 2013,
#5
I don't move out until the end of next week though!

And what's the dick move? Caring about someone's feelings enough to fake your own?

The cheating isn't an issue. She and I have both cheated on each other, and honestly I never really cared. Point being that she wouldn't want to break up over the principle of cheating alone.
Listen. I'm sorry.
Last edited by vilk at Dec 5, 2013,
#6
The longer you drag this out, the worse it will hurt her and the harder it will be for you dude. Do it right now.
Rojam's new and improved band!!!!

Listen a little bit, we DON'T suck!
#7
Quote by Rojam
The longer you drag this out, the worse it will hurt her and the harder it will be for you dude. Do it right now.

Yes but if I did it right now I would be homeless. You're saying I should dump her the day I move? What kind of person would be so cruel as to make someone spend the holiday season alone when he's perfectly capable of just keeping his feelings to himself? Honestly I've been doing it for so long one more month will be a breeze.
Listen. I'm sorry.
#8
Quote by vilk
Yes but if I did it right now I would be homeless. You're saying I should dump her the day I move? What kind of person would be so cruel as to make someone spend the holiday season alone?

Is it worse to be alone on Christmas or to look back knowing you weren't really with them the whole time?

Get her Kit-Kats. Say: "I'm breaking up with you. Now break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar."
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brot pls
Last edited by BladeSlinger at Dec 5, 2013,
#9
Quote by vilk
What kind of person would be so cruel as to make someone spend the holiday season alone?


You were cruel enough to cheat on someone you apparently care about etc etc.. So I'd say you're cruel enough.

All us single folk spend the holiday season alone? It's just a holiday jesus. For someone so alpha you're a giant pussy.
#10
Quote by vayne92
You were cruel enough to cheat on someone you apparently care about etc etc.. So I'd say you're cruel enough.

All us single folk spend the holiday season alone? It's just a holiday jesus. For someone so alpha you're a giant pussy.

He's already said cheating isn't the issue. She's done it too.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#11
Well, only I would know. She wouldn't know. I guess she could make the assumption that my feelings weren't genuine because I broke up with her, but who's to say she wouldn't do the exact same thing if I broke up with her now? I mean, now or one month from now, what's the real difference? Aside from spending money on presents.

Come on guys no one has had to buy a present for a doomed relationship?
Listen. I'm sorry.
#12
So you want to continue to lie to her so that you can keep living at her place for the holidays?

Classy.

Just break up with her ASAP instead of dragging her along for another month.
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LET'S GO BUCKS
Last edited by AeroRocker at Dec 5, 2013,
#13
Just because she didn't break up with you for cheating doesn't mean she isn't hurt by it or that its not wrong.

Don't spend a lot of money, that would be stupid. Just get her something nice for a reasonable amount.

Also I'm not sure it really makes a difference when you break up with someone, but whatever, do what you want.
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#14
Quote by BladeSlinger
He's already said cheating isn't the issue. She's done it too.


I should probably read the entire post haha... TS just ****ing dump her, ****.
#15
Quote by vilk
Yes but if I did it right now I would be homeless. You're saying I should dump her the day I move? What kind of person would be so cruel as to make someone spend the holiday season alone when he's perfectly capable of just keeping his feelings to himself? Honestly I've been doing it for so long one more month will be a breeze.


So this is more of a saving your own kind of spine deal then? I don't mean that in a 'you're a total prick' manner, just an honest question. It sounds like you still care about her based on what you've said man. I get the, 'I just want a new girl every night' mentality, but it sounds like you've got a nice thing right now.

One man's opinion, I personally enjoy the single life and don't commit to relationships for years at a time.
Rojam's new and improved band!!!!

Listen a little bit, we DON'T suck!
#16
Quote by Rojam
I personally enjoy the single life and don't commit to relationships for years at a time.


You sir are a wise man and i think we can all learn a thing or two from yourself.
#17
Quote by vayne92
You were cruel enough to cheat on someone you apparently care about etc etc.. So I'd say you're cruel enough.

All us single folk spend the holiday season alone? It's just a holiday jesus. For someone so alpha you're a giant pussy.


Well, on the one hand you could say I'm a pussy for not having the guts to hurt someone at a particularly depressing time of the year.

On the other hand you could say I'm selfless for having the patience to be with someone who needs me during a particularly depressing time of the year.

no?
Listen. I'm sorry.
#18
Quote by vilk
Yes but if I did it right now I would be homeless. You're saying I should dump her the day I move? What kind of person would be so cruel as to make someone spend the holiday season alone when he's perfectly capable of just keeping his feelings to himself? Honestly I've been doing it for so long one more month will be a breeze.
rofl

says he cares enough to not let her spend the holidays on her own

cheats on her

ok buddy

is this a troll
ggg1 ggg3

.
#19
Quote by vilk
Well, on the one hand you could say I'm a pussy for not having the guts to hurt someone at a particularly depressing time of the year.

On the other hand you could say I'm selfless for having the patience to be with someone who needs me during a particularly depressing time of the year.

no?


Sorry i didn't read the entire original post TS. I have failed you. FORGIVE ME PLEASE

i still haven't read the entire post..
#20
Quote by vilk


On the other hand you could say I'm selfless for having the patience to be with someone who needs me during a particularly depressing time of the year.

no?


That's not true in general. Look around you. So many people celebrate. It may be depressing for you but not for many.
#21
Quote by AeroRocker
So you want to continue to lie to her so that you can keep living at her place for the holidays?

Classy.

Just break up with her ASAP instead of dragging her along for another month.
No no no. I actually DONT want to spend the holidays with her. But I do theoretically have to continue lying to her until the 17th when my lease starts. Yes I realize that isn't a very nice thing but I actually live like thousands of miles away from anyone I know so I don't exactly have a ton of options.
Listen. I'm sorry.
#22
You guys are all so hung up on cheating. It's a different story when you live on opposite sides of the pacific ocean for 6 months. Honestly, it probably did/does hurt her. But do you guys seriously put so much weight on cheating? I have literally never not cheated or been cheated on by a girlfriend. I don't have those sort of possessive or jealous feelings, and it's also not really relevant to what is important about a relationship imo. What's with everyone's Victorian-esque hangups? This is a different topic for a different thread. I said I'm breaking up with this girl anyway so whatever. I know I'm not a particularly good boyfriend or person. I thought that much was clear to anyone who has read anything I've ever posted.


So, thanks to the ONE person who actually advised me on gift buying.
Listen. I'm sorry.
#23
Quote by vilk
Well, on the one hand you could say I'm a pussy for not having the guts to hurt someone at a particularly depressing time of the year.

On the other hand you could say I'm selfless for having the patience to be with someone who needs me during a particularly depressing time of the year.

no?

Dude, if you've both cheated on eachother and you haven't really been in it for half a year, you have most definitely ****ed something up.
I ain't gonna pontificate about it but **** get your shit together man.
#24
This is the second most popular time to break up. So just do it.
*-)
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#25
Does she like books?
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#26
Yikes. You know, I was pretty deadset on just going for the long-haul over winter. Maybe I should just end it? Maybe I can devise a scheme to get her to break up with me... Guys. I'm bad at breaking up with people.


OK. Let's say I go ahead and break up with her as soon as I'm able to move into my new place. Should I still get her a present?

Quote by BladeSlinger
Does she like books?


She does like books. But dude, would you really get a girl a book for Christmas? Seems like a kinda lame present...

actually maybe it's perfect. It's like a present that says. 'I don't love you. But at least I got you something.'
Listen. I'm sorry.
Last edited by vilk at Dec 5, 2013,
#27
Quote by vilk
You guys are all so hung up on cheating. It's a different story when you live on opposite sides of the pacific ocean for 6 months. Honestly, it probably did/does hurt her. But do you guys seriously put so much weight on cheating? I have literally never not cheated or been cheated on by a girlfriend. I don't have those sort of possessive or jealous feelings, and it's also not really relevant to what is important about a relationship imo. What's with everyone's Victorian-esque hangups? This is a different topic for a different thread. I said I'm breaking up with this girl anyway so whatever. I know I'm not a particularly good boyfriend or person. I thought that much was clear to anyone who has read anything I've ever posted.


So, thanks to the ONE person who actually advised me on gift buying.

Yes, if you want to **** multiple people don't get into a relationship, relationships are about intimacy, both emotional and physical.
#28
Quote by metaldud536
That's not true in general. Look around you. So many people celebrate. It may be depressing for you but not for many.


No, it is true. The holiday season from Thanksgiving to New Years is the single most depressing time of the year. More people commit suicide during that time period than any other time of the year.

edit: I actually understand and appreciate what you're doing. I think you should stick it out until after New Year's, and then afterwards just tell her that you still love and care about her or whatever and didn't want to ruin her holidays, but you just don't think the relationship is going anywhere.

Let her go through the tough time after the toughest time to go through that tough time.

As for gift giving, buy her something nice. I don't know about something like jewelry, but something thoughtful and not cheap. Especially if she's getting you shit, it would be cruel to do otherwise, because you'd end up profiting from knowing in advance that you're breaking up with her. At least match what she got you in terms of value.
Last edited by progdude93 at Dec 5, 2013,
#29
I wouldn't. Seems like an insult to injury sort of deal.
Rojam's new and improved band!!!!

Listen a little bit, we DON'T suck!
#30
I don't see why not. You still care about her and shit.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#31
Quote by vilk
and [cheating] is also not really relevant to what is important about a relationship imo.
ahahahah
ggg1 ggg3

.
#32
Quote by vilk
Yikes. You know, I was pretty deadset on just going for the long-haul over winter. Maybe I should just end it? Maybe I can devise a scheme to get her to break up with me... Guys. I'm bad at breaking up with people.


OK. Let's say I go ahead and break up with her as soon as I'm able to move into my new place. Should I still get her a present?


She does like books. But dude, would you really get a girl a book for Christmas? Seems like a kinda lame present...

actually maybe it's perfect. It's like a present that says. 'I don't love you. But at least I got you something.'
Books are ****ing awesome and you take that back.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#33
Quote by BladeSlinger
Books are ****ing awesome and you take that back.

No man, I like books. I do! But how sad would a girl be if she opened up a present with thoughts of clothes, jewelry, fancy christmasy romantic stuff, and inside there was a book. Which is why like I said maybe it's not a bad idea.
Listen. I'm sorry.
#35
Quote by Lt. Shinysides
your life sounds sad. **** that shit, im gonna take my girlie skiing this weekend.


Well here's a name I haven't seen in awhile.
Rojam's new and improved band!!!!

Listen a little bit, we DON'T suck!
#36
Quote by vilk
No man, I like books. I do! But how sad would a girl be if she opened up a present with thoughts of clothes, jewelry, fancy christmasy romantic stuff, and inside there was a book. Which is why like I said maybe it's not a bad idea.

Multiple books then. When I asked if she liked books, I didn't ask if she was a filthy casual.

Some books would help me get over a break up than a lot of things. They're very cathartic.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#38
Quote by vilk
Guys. I'm bad at breaking up with people.


Ah, the truth comes out! I suspected as much. I don't really care when you do it, but if you feel this way about the relationship, make sure you do actually break it off sometime, because a fake relationship isn't really doing either of you any favors.

I don't see whats wrong with a book, but then again I've never been a jewelry giver. If I got a girl a book it would probably be a book she's wanted. If thats not yours or her style you don't have to do it though, I mean theres no point in getting her something she won't like. Don't get her jewelry, but I guess whatever else is fine. Just get her something nice enough to show you still care about her as a friend, but not so nice that it seems like you still want a relationship with her.
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what specs is your pc? like how much ram?


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3 ram, nice

#39
Quote by vilk
So, my girlfriend and I are on the down and out... but she doesn't know it yet. We've been together for over 2 years, lived together for 1, but now I'm finally moving out (signed the lease and payed the deposit), and though I haven't told her the reason it's basically because I'm tired of being tied down and I'm ready to be single and mangle some pussy without having to sneak around behind her back like I've done up till now. And you know, play guitar and masturbate and stuff. I dream of the paradise where I come home from work and don't have to listen or talk to anyone.

But I feel like christmas is the worst time to dump someone. And she's sooo sensitive, it's going to destroy her when I actually summon the courage to tell her I want out, so I can only imagine how bad she would feel if I did it right before christmas.

Now don't get me wrong--Even though I am done with the girl, I don't hate her. And I don't want to cause her pain. She really is a good person--she's just not right for me (or the other way around really). I know it's inevitable, but I figure I've been faking my feelings towards her for upwards of half a year so I can probably squeeze out another month so that she's not all alone on Christmas and new years... (blegh. It's going to be a long winter break).


Down to the point. I gotta get her something for Christmas. I know she already got me some stuff, probably spent too much money on it because she does that, and obviously I have to get her something because you know reciprocation yadayadayada. I don't think she got me anything outrageous, just a bottle of nice absinthe and a shirt, probably some other small thing I don't know about. If I wasn't going to break up with her, I'd probably drop a load on some nice gold jewelry. I still might, but honestly with moving and all I can hardly justify spending so much on a girl that I don't even want to be with. I owe it to her--she's been a good girlfriend to me. Should I spend empty-hearted money just to sate a hopeless romantic on a fake-feelinged christmas? Maybe I should cheapen it down so that it is slightly more reflective of what is to come?


tl;dr
What should I buy a girl who I'm only dating out of pity and plan to break up with soon after the holiday season for christmas?


Is she into that?
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#40
You suck at relationships. You should buy her a book... On how to avoid shitty boyfriends like you.
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