#1
a sketch from a few months ago i just found

Angelization
You keep a scanner under your passenger seat
and at a standstill with nothing good to say
I turn it on and place it between us,
and you smile as the static breaks into voices.

A death fills the radio waves
and flutters around us--
you flick it off.
Your breath picks up

until you wander back in time
to the voices of the hobbyists on the citizens band,
edging your thoughts towards something simpler
that you remember only from the best of days,
model cars, your concrete basement cold through your socks
your father's capable hands, the raw band left by his wedding ring
a wooden frame and copper spool, makeshift antenna
and the most finicky little speaker you'll ever see--

Come in, Charleston;
calling all truckers;
hello is anybody out there,
breaker breaker 19, is anybody out there

and someone responds, hinting laughter
or at least a smile
for your enthusiasm
and you beam into nothingness
or else the indescribable
the wonder of a voice preserved
beyond it's time and place
and you are too excited to talk
you don't even remember the brief conversation
between this bodiless voice and your father
as you grappled with your first understanding
of this physics, you remember instead
early moonlight through the high window
and a shadow of yourself you walked right out of
and now grasp for, weightless
and nauseated in floating colors
and harsh angles, the light cloud of rain
kicked up around us by passing cars
as we sit motionless in the turning lane,
traffic rushing by, trying to remember where we meant to go.
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
Last edited by jiminizzle at Dec 8, 2013,
#2
the wonder of a voice preserved beyond its time and place, always trying to remember what it is you're doing, i love the ending a lot. it's hard not to get wrapped up in everything. the movement from the abstract of colors and angles to the very real moment sitting in a car works wonderfully.

i don't think "or else the indescribable" is useful when "you beam into nothingness" is a better line and gets the same idea across. otherwise this rings of youthful exuberance and memory. i'll hold these things dear.
#3
"finicky little speaker you'll ever see" was the only line that felt out of place. otherwise, i really enjoyed this. i might come back and give you a bit more specifics, but like broken said, the movement from the abstract to the literal was really well played.