a needle, threaded with whiskers- inevitable white and thick as worms. with a snitchsnatch a stitch in a timeframeless patchwork quilt of buzzing neckachey-memory things. i fidget around in you and sense myself to fuzzy sleep like a cat. like a whiskery cat with needle pricked ears you whisper breath, too shallow to take, smelling soberly of nightfrost. where do you sleep? in noise in breaths too shallow to take in dreamsindreamsindreamsindreamsindreamsindreams in flickling lobes in [s]solitude[/s]loneliness in [s]time[/s]space between frames in paper before words in certainty
Last edited by doubtfulsalmon at Dec 15, 2013,
especially 'neckachey' and maybe 'flicking lobes' were the only words that felt out of place. i wasn't sure if i liked the recurrence of 'whisker' and 'needle' but i think it fits. i like the way this ends and the pace of it, the way it feels like walking through an old empty home -eerie and familiar. thanks for the read.
As always your critique is so so appreciated, thank you.