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#1
Go on, indulge us.

Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#2
There was this party I went to where one guy did lsd, he was having a good time till he went outside and started puking everywhere

Then a few people went out there and tried to piss on him when he passed out for shits n gigs but I stopped them 'cause I'm a top bloke

but in the morning there was like 5 people scattered across the front lawn
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#4
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#6
Quote by progdude93
you have to start us off with one TS GOD you're ignorant

I don't have any

Nothing that could compare to what will be said, anyway

There was a time that me and my friends were drinking two summers ago, and it was like 5:00 am and we decided to play flashlight tag for some reason. Everyone was looking for me, and at one point a friend spotted me and chased me around the house.

I took off across the field and through some trees and then laid down so he couldn't see me, but I noticed that he wasn't in pursuit. He stopped following me because he didn't know for sure it was me, and he said I was moving too fast to be human lol (which means it was dark and he was drunk)

So when I walked back up to the porch, he asked me if he was chasing me and I took that opportunity and said no. To my surprise, he didn't challenge that at all. So for two weeks, he was convinced that he had chased some ghost or some shit across my friend's backyard.

I told him awhile later that it really was me and he didn't believe me

Another time that same guy lost his car keys for 3 months
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
Last edited by eGraham at Dec 12, 2013,
#8
Got drunk, broke into a car, stole stuff from said car. I was 16, cut me some slack.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#9
Me and my friends would get drunk and box each other a year or two ago.

With gloves and everything, nothing but gloves and shorts. I almost got knocked out flat at least once, I had to really fight to stay conscious. Got hit square in the nose, saw stars and my field of vision shrunk to about 3 inches.

However, this punch fixed my deviated septum, which was nice, because I can breathe now.
#11
I just drank some water... it was SO legit.
All I want is for everyone to go to hell...
...It's the last place I was seen before I lost myself



Quote by DisarmGoliath
You can be the deputy llamma of the recordings forum!
#15
One of my best. I went to the CASBY awards (Canadian Artists Selected By You) with a few of my friends who were girls. I drank heavily, was having an awesome time and this girl I never met who knew the 2 girls I was with showed up. We made out like the plane was going down at the show, then in the cab, then in the bar she worked at. Proceeded to **** in the washroom downstairs. After this is when all the booze hit and I just walked out of the place, realized I had no money and was hours from home and had to work the next day at 7:30. Called my room mate asking for money and smashed my phone when he said he had none. Started the 40 or so km walk home. Got to a square with a subway stop and although I had previously found them closed went for it. I fell off the curb and into the street at Yonge and Dundas (very busy intersection in Toronto) and just gave up and laid there, only to be helped up by a guy in a wheelchair. I remember thinking, "wow, I must be drunk if a guy in a wheelchair needs to help me up" It took 2 1/2 hours to walk home. Got home and crashed so hard I slept right through the morning and woke up so sick I couldn't even call work. Showed up the next day only to find the whole dealership had a bet on whether I was dead or in jail


The other was getting in a fight. I was too drunk to walk right and bumped into this dude. Being too drunk said "sorry man! I'm waaayyy too drunk". He replies "**** you". I started punching his face and didn't stop until he started going down. Being too drunk I went down too but didn't stop punching. 6 of his friends jump me and I couldn't get up, but was too drunk to even realize until my friend pulled the biggest guy off me and I could get up. Proceeded to chase the 6 dudes right to a cab telling them my Dad was a biker and they were all going to be killed (which was total bullshit ) I turn around once they're in the cab only to see about 4 cops watching and not doing anything, I still don't know why. I'v sometimes thought, that being a very biker heavy/controlled area that maybe the people believed me As soon as I turned around started puking like crazy and this girl started rubbing my back to help me. Or so I thought, it was actually my guy friend and that freaked me out when I found out the next day



Oh man, booze has led to some fun ****ing times
Uncle aciD

&

The deadbeatS


Do What Your Love Tells You
Last edited by SFosterS at Dec 12, 2013,
#16
I was speeding once

Cop pulled behind me, bitch said "Just go"

So I did

Led the cops on a high speed chase, ran into a dead end

Got DUI, sat in county sporting a Mohawk.

I did not look tough.

On a side note, the uniforms they gave us, were black and white striped, no shit. Just like O' Brother or something.

I once broke into the local minor league ballpark after a binge. Me and the girl I was with climbed into the hot tub and tried to have sex, but the hot tub wasn't on, and it was freezing.

Same ballpark used in the film Sugar, if any has seen that.

Last week I walked to the pub, and had icicles in my beard when I got home.

Be back with more later.
"Pain or damage don't end the world nor despair, nor fuckin' beatings. The world ends when you're dead, until then you have more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back."
#17
Not my best, but most recent.

So like mid-July this past summer, me and my homies decided to all turn up. We got like a bottle of Jack, some MD flavor (ratchet, I know) and two cases of Coronas.

So we decided to go to our friends house where we normally threw parties, and drank at her house. Only like 5 really drank. I had been hitting the Jack and probably killed like half before hitting the Jack. One of my other friends had been downing the MD, & another had about 8 Coronas to himself. We then decided to split the labor, so I had like 2 beers & the other two started to drink Black Tooth (Jack/coke for those who don't know), the MD, as well as beers. My dumbass drank the two beers then went back to the liquor. It was that night I learned the saying "beer before liquor makes you sicker," was valid. My friend who consumed most of the MD tried to chug it for 4 seconds, threw up on himself before running to the grass. The one who had the Coronas then the liquor ralphed all over the table & floor (projectile-type shit). I did not throw up, but I had been yelling "tres amigos" for some reason, and tried to sober up by pacing back and forth within the same square 10 foot area for a good two hours, talking about women and saying "I'm not gonna throw up." I got driven home (in my car), called my sis to open the door, tried to open the door with my car key, got inside and went to my room to only take off all my clothes except bball shorts and continued to pace in my room. I spit up a little at like 6 am. I got no sleep the whole night. The kicker was that my family and I were supposed to go to Disneyland the next day.

if tl;dr: Jack Daniels is awesome and don't drink the night before you're supposed to go with your fam to a theme park.
I NEED TO CHANGE MY USERNAME


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#18
Most of my best drunk stories, I don't personally remember.
Only through friends, do I know what I did (According to them anyway).
#19
it's new years. one joint and two bottles of wine, I'm absolutely ****ed. I tried to eat chocolates, realized as I was about to swallow that the foil was still on. I don't drink alcohol anymore, not much at least.
banned
#20
Quote by CodeMonk
Most of my best drunk stories, I don't personally remember.
Only through friends, do I know what I did (According to them anyway).


this.
#DTWD
#21
I drank so much once everyone thought I was cool. Then my mom and dad passed out and I was a loser again.
#22
I don't have any. I don't even know what I do when I'm drunk I just have fun.


I always talk about nature and biology and stuff though I can't help it. Last year I started talking about some tree of life shit like how I am one leaf, and you are the leaf beside me and together we help the trunk (which is society) support everyone else and ourselves at the same time, and the caterpillars that eat through the leaves are our own personal battles and when someone chops the tree down it is an act of terrorism. It was a very long story and someone recorded the whole thing on their phone for 20 mins, and I don't remember why (it was part of my story) but she calls me Millipede Girl now.
cat
#23
Quote by guitarxo
I don't have any. I don't even know what I do when I'm drunk I just have fun.


I always talk about nature and biology and stuff though I can't help it. Last year I started talking about some tree of life shit like how I am one leaf, and you are the leaf beside me and together we help the trunk (which is society) support everyone else and ourselves at the same time, and the caterpillars that eat through the leaves are our own personal battles and when someone chops the tree down it is an act of terrorism. It was a very long story and someone recorded the whole thing on their phone for 20 mins, and I don't remember why (it was part of my story) but she calls me Millipede Girl now.

That's beautiful

Maybe we should spray the tree with DDT and set up an electric fence around it, to prevent caterpillars and terrorists, respectively.
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#24
I was 18 and drinking Absinthe for the first time. I didn't feel that pissed or drunk. I drew the short straw to go the 250 yards to get some rizla, the same shop we always went to.

I set off on the 5 minute journey and came back 20 minutes later. I had walked up and down the road but I just couldn't find the shop.

I somehow walked past 2 appropriate and quite obvious shops on the way there and back but just missed them. I was even looking out for them and they're quite obvious, I just don't know what happened. I didn't even remember the journey when I got back.
#29
there was this one time where me, my friend (B) and some chick (H) left a party to walk to the corner store to buy chips. when we got there the store was closed, so H decided to tie my shoelaces and we sat down. now some big ****ing dude and his junkie girlfriend walked past us and actually decided to take offense to this seemingly innocent tying of shoes, and started some bullshit. now we were pretty drunk; so B and H, not exactly being the kind of people to take shit from some punks downtown, decided to provoke these legitimately dangerous looking people. pretty quickly a fight broke out:
methbitch attacked H with a fookin shoe and in a manner of seconds the big mother****er managed to hit B so hard in the head that he fell to the ground, at which point he kicked him hard in the back of the head. i rushed to help my friend and the scummy couple ran away, what with there being a police station right across the street. cops took their sweet time, and my friend was ****ed up, he was obviously concussed. we had to carry him around while he puked and drooled and rambled incoherently. cops finally arrived, took us to the station and checked our alcohol levels with us being 16 at the time i think. they drove my friend to the hospital and the cop was such a nice guy that he let me and H go, even though we were piss drunk and the drinking age is 21. they never found the ****ers.

we went back to the party pretty shocked, and the night went on. then a couple of hours later we heard a knocking on the door. we were pretty scared because we were smoking weed and we thought it might be the cops. we went to the door and there he ****ing was, B in all his amazing glory. apparently he'd woken up in the hospital waiting room and after quickly assessing the situation, decided to bounce and walked all the way back to the party. we celebrated his return with a big fat joint. it was glorious.

i don't really have all too many "good" drinking stories, but i've got an arsenal of crazy shit drinking stories. i have much more happy drug stories, like taking mdma with a couple of childhood friends and spending all night playing with scooters at the skate park or taking shrooms and going out for a nighttime walk next to the ocean. amazing times. alcohol makes people crazy, trufax.
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#30
i always like to share this one just cause it's pretty short:
one of my roommates was criminal justice major so one night before we went out to the bar he was giving us this lecture about how if you're ever caught pissing in public to just run. the reason for this is, even if you're not convicted, you end up on that megan's law site

so fast forward a few hours after taking shots at the bar all night, guess who gets stopped for pissing on the street? not super epic i know but i love the irony
#31
I got pissed and puked on the bus home.

Not my proudest moment, but my fellow travellers were understanding.
Quote by Todd Hart
Shooting your friends with a real gun is a definite faux pas.

Quote by mystical_1
Professor Plum in the Studio with a new Amp

Quote by snipelfritz
If only I were the only one at home right now. I don't need my parents asking who Mr. Wiggles is.
#32
2012 St. Patrick's Day. First time I got really drunk. Had a few B52 shots and a Long Island Iced tea and some drink where you drop a shot in bear and it has cream so it coagulates and is disgusting.

I got so shitfaced I had to be dumped into the backseat of a car and my BF's friend had to help me to bed because the BF was busy throwing up at the side of his car. Then I woke up to a weird sound which turned out to be the BF snoring. On the floor. By the doorway. I got angry at him for some reason and tried to kick him and throw him out of his own room. It was nice.

I didn't get hungover the next day.
Quote by Jackal58
Nothing is stranger than being anonymous.
#33
Well this one time I was at a Halloween party and me and a friend went halves on a carton of beer. So I had about 8 of these and was pretty fucked (I was a light weight at the time) and then someone decided it would be a good idea to do tequila shots. After the shots I went to my friend who was looking after me and said that he wasn't aloud to let me drink anything more that night he was like yeah sure. Then pretty much as soon as he turned around I ran to the table where all of the booze was kept that night and downed about a quarter of a bottle of butterscotch schnapps. Needless to say I started to feel pretty bad at this stage so I went and sat down then just threw up all over the floor. Then the hosts dog came up to investigate/lick up the puke just as I was going for another hurl and ended up covering this dog in puke. It was only a small dog too, not sure of the breed I don't know a whole lot about dogs.


Another time was earlier this year when I was in Florence in Italy and I had been out to a place called Red Garter with some people I had met. Anyway long story short we're all walking back to the hostel we were staying at at about 2 in the morning and we come across this wall that's covered with these fake American dollar bills from about the second story up. So this guy I was with who is about 6'8" and me were both like we some of those so I go to the guy if you give me a leg up I can grab onto that windowsill. So he gives me the boost I grab onto the windowsill and I grab the fake dollars then I say alright help me down and he's like ...shit how are we going to do this and I'm like oh shit I don't know. In hindsight he probably should have just grabbed me around the waist and lowered me down but both been drunk it didn't occur to either of us so he goes wait I gave you a leg up we can do that but in reverse so I was like ok. So he linked his hands together I put my foot onto his hands and just let go I ended up going about 10 feet just straight down onto the side walk and broke my arm right on the growth plate in the elbow, you know the place that isn't supposed to break that easily. At the time I didn't know it was broken though so we just went back to the hostel and I just took a panadol and attempted fall asleep. Then because the pain was pretty bad, but I could still make a fist (I was always told that if you could make a fist your arm wasn't broken) so I figured maybe I had dislocated it so I googled how to relocate your own dislocated elbow but luckily common sense prevailed before I could try to go through with it. I eventually just passed out from exhaustion though.
Last edited by DardySon at Dec 13, 2013,
#34
I was at my cousins "homies" house, they had a party and some hood rats came threw to get some cawk, anyways were all drinking then chino gets the biggest of the hood rats to bang, around 4 a.m julio was still blasting music and chino ended up giving him a ride home so everyone could sleep BUT the part that was my favorite was when he left the room, he goes to my cousin"eyy moe its your turn" we all laughed, I stepped outside, rolled a dutch and had a couple more beers after I finished those I went back inside and I hear a bed squeaking and some moaning, chino comes back goes to his room all I hear is "moe?" my cousin runs out the door laughing his fat ass off going I ****ed that b*tch in the booty hole. All in all chino came out and laughed with us because he did say it was my cousins turn. I got other drunk stories this 1 just popped up first.
Whats goes around must come down
#36
There's a place down the street from mine that I frequent. The bartender, Tim, knows me pretty well since I usually go when I know he's working. I go on slow nights so we can play chess and watch whatever game is on. My girlfriend likes it there, too, so she comes along a lot.


Yep.
OBEY THE MIGHTY SHITKICKER
#37
I ran a mile naked once

in the snow

for ten dollars and a bud light
"Pain or damage don't end the world nor despair, nor fuckin' beatings. The world ends when you're dead, until then you have more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back."
#38
I have 2

1. I was at a party with a mate and I started dancing with a solid 7 we were making out she was doing slutdrops and putting my hand on her ass, I then went for a piss (long line) and by the time I got back she'd left

2. Minutes later I was talking with my mate as we were talking we sat down, as soon as we got up we noticed my mate had sat on a small bit of puke that turned out to be hers. The girl lrft because she puked, and he had to throw away the trousers
You hit 'em and they get back up
I hit 'em and they stay down
- Frank Castle
Last edited by cha33 armstrong at Dec 13, 2013,
#39
Quote by Toadvine
I ran a mile naked once

in the snow

for ten dollars and a bud light
Wow, no one recorded it on their phone?
#40
A scar on my right leg.
I've been told the same night I also screamed to my neighbors something like "Heeeeeey I'm Luca, I'm the neighbor" and someone from that house told "don't mind him, he's just drunk".

Last time, I made a ****in' mess.
Like I puked everywhere and when I smoked pot I couldn't tell if the way I was feeling was due the alcohol or the pot.
Again, I've been told I drank my own piss.
I don't really know if someone made me do that or I did that for some reason, but whatever.
Name's Luca.

Quote by OliOsbourne
I don't know anything about this topic, but I just clicked on this thread because of your username :O
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Clue: amplifiers amplify so don't turn it on if you need quiet.
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I guess spambots are now capable of reading minds.
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