#1
http://www.cnn.com/2013/12/12/health/james-bond-alcohol/

(CNN) --
The British spy James Bond may routinely get himself out of dangerous situations with skill and charm, but his body may be suffering all the while because of his drinking habits. British researchers predict he could die from alcohol-related causes, such as liver damage, by age 56.

Scientists wanted to examine just how much alcohol the famous fictional secret agent consumes, and what effect that could have on his health. They published a study, led by Graham Johnson of the emergency department of Royal Derby Hospital, in the British Medical Journal's Christmas edition, which features a variety of offbeat research papers.

Researchers found Bond's weekly alcohol consumption totaled 92 units a week, which is more than four times what doctors recommend. A real person would not be able to carry out such complicated tasks and function as well as Bond does while maintaining such habits, they conclude.

Two study authors analyzed all 14 original James Bond books by Ian Fleming, focusing on the number of days on which alcohol-related events were described. But each of them only read half the books, representing a shortcoming of the study, which was conducted in "the study authors' homes, in a comfy chair."

They found that in "From Russia with Love," on the third day of the story, Bond drank about 50 units of alcohol -- the highest daily consumption in the collection of stories.

It also appears that the spy's alcohol intake dropped around the middle of his career, but then picked back up gradually toward the end.

"This consistent but variable lifetime drinking pattern has been reported in patients with alcoholic liver disease," study authors wrote.

Note that researchers did not analyze the Bond films, only the books, so the precise level of alcoholism that Bond portrays on the big screen is an open question.

A real person who drank as much as Bond, more than 60 grams of alcohol per day, would be in the highest risk group for malignancies, depression, hypertension and cirrhosis and could also suffer sexual dysfunction.

Early death would be likely for the spy as a result of such rampant alcohol consumption, researchers said.

Alcoholism may even be responsible for Bond's famous catchphrase "vodka martini -- shaken, not stirred." This may have health-related implications, too.

Study authors posit that if Bond's alcohol consumption in the books is so chronic and excessive, he may be suffering from an alcohol-induced tremor. Chronic exposure to alcohol can damage a part of the brain called the cerebellum, which can lead to a tremor.
This suggests -- and of course, this is only speculation -- that perhaps Bond can't actually stir his drinks.


Poor guy, hope he can make it to rehab before it's too late.
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#3
High functioning alcoholism never stopped Archer. I assume it wouldn't stop Bond, either.
My God, it's full of stars!
#4
Quote by primusfan
Liver Let Die

I'm trying to make another pun out of another title, but none of them are even close to this one. Well played.
#6
It's not a problem unless it affects his work.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#9
Quote by Nelshizzle
It's not a problem unless it affects his work.

dat impotence how he sposed to bang women?
“Just to sum up: I would do various things very quickly.” - Donald Trump
#10
Quote by soundgarden1986
From white Russian with love?

Goldschläger
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#12
Quote by captainsnazz
would have been a #bradthread if you'd commented on how he's british

I was totally expecting it too.

Anyway:

Skyyfall
Die another day (at 56)
Cirrhosis is Forever
#13
One Drink Is Not Enough
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#14
Who are these scientists, and who's funding this research? Jesus Christ.

Also I don't really think James Bond is an alcoholic. I've never really seen him drunk, except a few times, and even when he does drink, he usually has one martini or whatever, then some shit happens and he goes and works that out.

This is the worst use of science.
Quote by MetalGS3SE
This is the best idea I have ever heard. Ever.

Naedauuf for president people.


#15
Quote by Trowzaa
One Drink Is Not Enough

I laughed more than I should have reading that.

And why is CNN reporting this?
#17
Quote by naedauuf
Who are these scientists, and who's funding this research? Jesus Christ.

Also I don't really think James Bond is an alcoholic. I've never really seen him drunk, except a few times, and even when he does drink, he usually has one martini or whatever, then some shit happens and he goes and works that out.

This is the worst use of science.


1) pretty sure it wasn't a real scientific study
2) read the books

ok i'm not really sure about point 1) but i guess the point was to show that the character is somewhat of a role model for his coolness or whatever, but people should really think twice before acting like someone like James Bond. Just in case that point wasn't clear enough in the first place.
Last edited by Nickpocalypse at Dec 15, 2013,
#18
Quote by Nickpocalypse
2) read the books

Didn't they make him go to a facility to ensure he got the alcohol addiction out of system in one of the movies too? I know in the books that he's a borderline alchy.
#19
Quote by primusfan
Liver Let Die

Oh Her Majesty's Secret Stash was a far better film.
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
#20
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Didn't they make him go to a facility to ensure he got the alcohol addiction out of system in one of the movies too? I know in the books that he's a borderline alchy.


He's definitely a full blown alcoholic in the books (or at least would be considered so today). The only thing I can remember about anything like that in the movies is die another day in which he was in a hospital due to being tortured in NK. I could be wrong, there are various parts of the movies I forget (all of diamonds are forever for example)
#21
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Didn't they make him go to a facility to ensure he got the alcohol addiction out of system in one of the movies too? I know in the books that he's a borderline alchy.


he's not bordeline anything, except maybe borderline personality disorder
#22
Quote by progdude93
he's not bordeline anything, except maybe borderline personality disorder


If anything he's a borderline rapist. Books and movies.
#23
Quote by Nickpocalypse
He's definitely a full blown alcoholic in the books (or at least would be considered so today). The only thing I can remember about anything like that in the movies is die another day in which he was in a hospital due to being tortured in NK. I could be wrong, there are various parts of the movies I forget (all of diamonds are forever for example)

I can't remember which movie, but they got a new M at the beginning. (This was one of the older movies, so the new M was male.) The new M decided that Bond needed to go medical facility and get cleaned up. Bond snuck alcohol in his suitcase somehow though -- so much for "cleaning up", lol.
#24
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
I can't remember which movie, but they got a new M at the beginning. (This was one of the older movies, so the new M was male.) The new M decided that Bond needed to go medical facility and get cleaned up. Bond snuck alcohol in his suitcase somehow though -- so much for "cleaning up", lol.


I'm quickly doing some research here to confirm but i'm 99% sure the only time the *character* M changed was when Mallory took over for Mansfield in Skyfall. The actor changed from Bernard Lee to Robert Brown sometime in the Moore movies.

EDIT: but Brown played the same M as Lee
#25
Quote by Nickpocalypse
If anything he's a borderline rapist. Books and movies.


Nah, he's more than borderline. He straight up takes advantage of pussy galore with absolutely no consent. But he's just so good at givin' the dickin' that she's baptized from the inside out by his glorious semen and joins the side of the righteous.
#26
Quote by progdude93
Nah, he's more than borderline. He straight up takes advantage of pussy galore with absolutely no consent. But he's just so good at givin' the dickin' that she's baptized from the inside out by his glorious semen and joins the side of the righteous.


Can't argue with this
#28
Quote by progdude93
he's not bordeline anything, except maybe borderline personality disorder

Have you even read the books, or do you just like spouting nonsense?

Quote by Nickpocalypse
I'm quickly doing some research here to confirm but i'm 99% sure the only time the *character* M changed was when Mallory took over for Mansfield in Skyfall. The actor changed from Bernard Lee to Robert Brown sometime in the Moore movies.

EDIT: but Brown played the same M as Lee

You are correct, actually. My mistake.
Last edited by crazysam23_Atax at Dec 15, 2013,
#29
Quote by Nickpocalypse
Can't argue with this


Yeah, I rewatched that movie fairly recently for the first time in like 5 years and I just had to keep thinking, "different times different times different times."
#31
Moonshineraker
Quantum of Solvent...

Meh :\

They should study how many VD's he's acquired through the years or estimate the probability that he's actually really really gay and in denial. Because really, what kind of straight guy orders that many Martinis?

/] 三方 [\
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
#33
Die Another Day is terrible, but does have the scene were he's being medically evaluated after getting out of the North Korean prison ..."Liver not so good...it's definitely him then" or some such.
Last edited by Who66 at Dec 15, 2013,
#34
Quote by primusfan
Liver Let Die


Quote by Diamond Dave
The Man With The Golden Pun


Uncle aciD

&

The deadbeatS


Do What Your Love Tells You
#38
And this, 007, is your Aston Martin. It's got an ejector seat, smoke screen, machine guns in the headlights...naturally..., and you have to blow in this before it will start.
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#39
Turn up
I NEED TO CHANGE MY USERNAME


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