#1
Hey guys, I'm back with a new tune. The goal for this one was to keep it short and sweet while reaching out to cover as much ground as possible. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, I'm just a bit iffy on some transitions and the outro. Tell me what you guys think
Attachments:
2. The Movember Moustache Massacre.gp5
#2
Was really good until "Uh-oh", which sounds discordant as balls and just doesn't fit in with the happy-major stuff afterwards. Then after that it was really good again. Had a go at rewriting that section to fit in a bit better.

You got a soundcloud or summat? Would love to hear more.
Attachments:
2. The Movember Moustache Massacre.gp5
#4
@allthatichug
Thanks! Yeah I expected that part not to really fly around here but I'm still gonna keep it. I know it sounds like shit, it's supposed to sound all chaotic and messed up This is the kind of effect I was going for initially
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTIlEaCmLJg
go to 3:40
and yeah I have a soundcloud although I have no means of recording guitar. I upload trap I sometimes make for fun if you wanna check it out.
https://soundcloud.com/nikolazjalic

@Ometh
Because I love me some chugga chugga. Chugging doesn't necessarily always mean breakdown either. There's a good portion of the song that has no chugs and if you would be able to look past that, I'd be interested in hearing your opinion
#5
I thought this was a well composed, melodic, and catchy, but unfortunately quite generic, metalcore homage to all those moustaches that are cruely grown for just the month of November and then tragically culled the following month.

I think you should maybe take out the section titled 'Aftermath' up to bar 69. It sounds a bit, cliched?

I think the discordant part worked well.

Too much chug/breakdowns for me.
#6
Quote by nikolazjalic
@Ometh
Because I love me some chugga chugga. Chugging doesn't necessarily always mean breakdown either. There's a good portion of the song that has no chugs and if you would be able to look past that, I'd be interested in hearing your opinion

Ok, if you really want to, I can crit it, but keep in mind I might not be a positive one.
#7
@BigOneEye
I agree, that part is a bit cliche sounding although I've grown to like it and to be honest I probably wouldn't know how to rewrite that part even if I wanted to.

@Ometh
I know, that's why I'm particularly interested in your opinion. You have a reputation for being brutally honest and that's all I could ask for. Tear me a new one
#8
Okay... reviewing as I listen....
Intro: You really like your dissonant chords, right?
"growth" : Breakdown already? o.o But it's not bad, flows really well.
"fully grown moustaches" : Like this bit
"tappy chug" : The original idea was cool but repeating the same arpeggio just ends up sounding really cliche and repetitive. Maybe mix it up a bit with some other leads? Also, by now the 'chug chug chug' is getting quite a bit boring.
"Uh-oh" : Enjoyed this but I don't think the second lead being just a semitone away really suits it, maybe try minor 3rds or flattened fifths? In my opinion the way it is now is quite abrasive to the ear

Metalcore is a genre that's been done to death and as such is quite hard to get right as so many angles have already been approached. It's not a bad song though C:
Quote by sheumack111
I allways found that having sex while listening to Tool/Planet X/Dream Theater was hard because every time you tryed o keep the beat they would change time sig, then you would get pissed off and then loose your mojo for the nite.....

I fucking Lol'd
#9
There weren't that many dissonant chords in the intro, other than the 8889 chord which is only slightly dissonant. Growth wasn't intentionally supposed to be a breakdown but I couldn't write a drum part that fit so that's what I put for the time being. Any suggestions for a better drum part? Tappy Chug I tried to keep interesting by changing the lead to the keys and letting the choir aahs shine through a bit more as the primary voice. I tried messing around with some other guitar leads but couldn't really come up with anything, I'll try to keep at it though and see what I come up with. And yeah i figured most people wouldnt like "Uh-Oh" but the goal was to be really dissonant and abrasive so I'm glad it did its job
#10
I like this a lot. Well done sir.
Guitars:
Ibanez UV777P
Ibanez RGD2127FX
Ibanez RG3120TW
Ibanez RGD7321
Ibanez RG6003FM
Ibanez SA160
Jackson Slatxmg3-7
Amps:
Baron Custom Amps K88
Rivera Knucklehead TRE
Fryette Sig: X
Randall RM4 /w Modded modules
Cabs:
Mesa 4x12
Bogner 4x12
Peavey 4x12(K85s)
#11
As boring as metalcore is to me these days, I thought that was pretty sick. Made me think of Architects' new album quite a bit, but probably more interesting than anything on it actually. Everything flowed really nicely and the uh-oh bit fit really well. It made for quite a powerful change when it becomes more melodic again.

All the riffs were cool but it still feels like I've heard this before, just because metalcore's really been done do death. So yeah, I enjoyed it for sure, I just think unless you do something really different in this genre it's not gonna feel all that fresh.

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1502791
Last edited by Seb1uk at Jan 18, 2014,
#12
I think the UH-OH part fits in well, a little dissonance doesn't hurt.
I would change some of the leads 'cause they sound a bit repetitive to me, and the choir 'aahs' are too loud on bar 58.
Other than that, I think this is a good Metalcore song (just a bit generic, but that's not your fault :P)

Can you check out my song please? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=32270931#post32270931

Thanks!