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#1
Guys, as you know we have this user here that is making these horrible threads that bother all of us. It appears that the reason these threads appear is simply that he is very lonely. As I want to help him, I have created this thread so that you guys can come up with ways to help Philip to pick up girls. Give him your best ideas.

Go!

Serious ideas pitched at this point:
wax
become gay
work out
tell them you are succesful and/or have a big penis
rape
change your name
**** your cousin and/or your mom
Chloroform soaked rag.
Stop being a bitch.
Buy a new amp.



People that have pitched themselves as a new love for Philip :

ChucklesMginty (Status: in consideration by Philip #Potential)
BjarnedeGraaf (Status: unknown)
Ssargentslayer (Status: it's complicated)

edit:

The search is over, we finally found her.



I wish Philip and his girlfriend all the best. May his happiness inpire all of you.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
Last edited by Neo Evil11 at Jan 17, 2014,
#5
Help Philip to realize his potential! He has great love to give.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#6
Tell them that they want him because he is the highly successful and respected man with a quality penis that they all so deviously desire
Quote by Sliide90027
But as a bigoted lemming, you have so cry an Alinslyite slur revealing you lack of reason and sense.


Quote by MusicLord16
BOB 1. ur 20 and two u like evil things and idk if u worship the devil
#7
Buy a RealDoll™
O.K.

“There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”
~ Bill Watterson


O__o
#9
Work out more. Then you can pick up lots of things!!!
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#10
Pursue feelings and not logic with women.
I eat bananas vigorously

BUTTS.

To the pit because i don't feel like doing real life.
#12
Rape them.

Well some of them have that fantasy
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#14
TS, you are a girl right? I think you should take one for the team.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#15
Quote by BelowTheSun
Treat women like the people they are rather than the inferior beings he thinks they are.


Serious question: If I put women on a pedestal, can I look under their skirts?
#16
Quote by Philip_pepper
Serious question: If I put women on a pedestal, can I look under their skirts?

This is how relationships work.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#17
Quote by Philip_pepper
Serious question: If I put women on a pedestal, can I look under their skirts?

But not touch!
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#20
Quote by ChucklesMginty
I would totally fuck Phillip and then not call him just to break his heart.

Or we'd have a passionate 6 month relationship before I went to a Christian gay-to-straight conversion camp and then came back and be like 'hah what the hell's wrong with you fag?'



Hmmm...

Might consider.
#21
Quote by ChucklesMginty
If you put women on a pedestal they have no choice but to look down on you.

And pee on you!
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#24
Quote by Thrashtastic15
calm down ian

Watkins or TheFox?
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#25
Quote by snipelfritz
Watkins or TheFox?


Child rape, furries, its a big jumble
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#27
Please help Philip more, he is a special needs guy he can't handle it alone.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#29
Quote by Minkaro
I think we should ban him from here so he has more time to focus on girls.

He clearly has a problem and needs UG rehab.


maybe he should go on a zaney cross country adventure to convince his manic pixie dream girl that he's the only one for her
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#34
We could crowdsource cash to pay women to pretend to date him. Or pay men to pretend to be friends with him.
"This one is machine and nerve, and has its mind concluded
This one is but flesh and faith, and is the more deluded."
#35
Quote by stratkat
I'm an alcoholic, but no one's ever made a thread about it.

Also I take nothing philip has ever typed seriously, it all adds up to jiberish.

We have 12 step programs for you guys. It doesn't exist for Philip's problem.
Quote by Carmel
I can't believe you are whoring yourself out like that.

ಠ_ಠ
#37
Quote by RealUnrealRob
We could crowdsource cash to pay women to pretend to date him. Or pay men to pretend to be friends with him.

That's way too much. Why don't we hire some convincing female crossdressers to be his dates and his friends. When they're dudes they can tell all about bros before hos and talk about what a bitch his girl is so they won't hang out with her. Then one of them can go change and attend the date then tell phillip what a bad influence his friends are.
Quote by Fat Lard
Why would you spend tens of thousands of dollars to learn about a language you already speak? It was over before it even started dude

Quote by captainsnazz
brot pls
#39
Quote by BladeSlinger
That's way too much. Why don't we hire some convincing female crossdressers to be his dates and his friends. When they're dudes they can tell all about bros before hos and talk about what a bitch his girl is so they won't hang out with her. Then one of them can go change and attend the date then tell phillip what a bad influence his friends are.

I'm so confused.
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