Page 1 of 2
#1
Hi guys. At my school there are several muslim girls with their headscarves and stuff. One of them told me they're Egyptian. My friends and I have started a competition to see who can deflower the largest number of them (we're assuming they're virgins). The rules are no rape and no alcohol. Just animal magnetism. You get bonus points if you get her to do anal. What is the best way to play this? I know if I approach any of them directly she'll just shut down and mumble something about not being able to have a boyfriend. I need to increase my animal magnetism somehow.
#2
Take about three soft pillows, and lay two down on top of each other, then get yourself hard, put down a soft shirt on top of the two pillows, then fold the shirt around your penis, so as to not get the cum on the pillows, put the third pillow on top after you have wrapped your penis in the shirt. It's great for practice, and strengthens stomach muscles when you're humping, also easy to clean up! Shirts wash easy. Also you can grab the bottom pillow and it feels just like a girl's ass when you're lying down!
2013 #5 Uger
2012 #7 Uger

Quote by jetfuel495
Jesus, Horsedick, you are my hero

Quote by JayT44
don't worry guys his girlfriend is black, she said it was okay for him to say that.



Stalk Me

Shitty Covers

Original Music

Lastfm
#5
This is probably the dumbest thing I've read all year.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#7
Quote by Horsedick.MPEG
Take about three soft pillows, and lay two down on top of each other, then get yourself hard, put down a soft shirt on top of the two pillows, then fold the shirt around your penis, so as to not get the cum on the pillows, put the third pillow on top after you have wrapped your penis in the shirt. It's great for practice, and strengthens stomach muscles when you're humping, also easy to clean up! Shirts wash easy. Also you can grab the bottom pillow and it feels just like a girl's ass when you're lying down!

... What in the fucking fuck?
Join the 7 String Legion!

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

Messiaen is Magical


Official Approval
This message has been approved by:

Mister A.J.
Head of the Department of Redundancy Department
Mister A.J.
#9
Quote by the bartender
This is probably the dumbest thing I've read all year.


The year is young.
#10
Quote by Horsedick.MPEG
Take about three soft pillows, and lay two down on top of each other, then get yourself hard, put down a soft shirt on top of the two pillows, then fold the shirt around your penis, so as to not get the cum on the pillows, put the third pillow on top after you have wrapped your penis in the shirt. It's great for practice, and strengthens stomach muscles when you're humping, also easy to clean up! Shirts wash easy. Also you can grab the bottom pillow and it feels just like a girl's ass when you're lying down!

No.
#12
Quote by the bartender
This is probably the dumbest thing I've read all year.

So like, today?

And TS, act like you care about them. That's it.

But make sure they don't think you're gay.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#14
Have you tried suicide bombing in your own room?

...modes and scales are still useless.


Quote by PhoenixGRM
Hey guys could you spare a minute to Vote for my band. Go to the site Search our band Listana with CTRL+F for quick and vote Thank you .
Quote by sam b
Voted for Patron Çıldırdı.

Thanks
Quote by PhoenixGRM
But our Band is Listana
#15
It's easy : Yo ucan just claim that you are their grand master and, being muslims, they will all convert directly to you. Those people are used to having multiple wives anyways.
So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world.
~Jack Layton 1950-2011
#16
Wow...It couldn't be any more obvious that the OP is a virgin...
When I was eleven I broke the patio window and my mother sued me... She's always been a very aggressive litigator.
#18
Quote by MakinLattes
It's nice that you guys have a "no rape" rule.


The benefits of civilization are truely wondrous aren't they?
#19
So what happens when 40 years have passed and none of you have had sex? Do you all just kill yourselves?
#26
Quote by chev311e
The year is young.

Quote by snipelfritz
So like, today?

thatsthejoke.jpg
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#28
theres no rule against chloroform? there's ur winning item.
It's not rape if they can't say no.

That being said. You are going to hell.
My Soundcloud

My beginner rig:

Epiphone Goth G-400 SG
Line 6 Spider IV (Don't judge me, I was young and stupid)
Stagg SW203N
Yamaha APX500
#29
Quote by BjarnedeGraaf
theres no rule against chloroform? there's ur winning item.
It's not rape if they can't say no.


if you do it quick enough it's also not rape.

they don't have a chance to say no.

on that note, just kill yourself now
ayy lmao
#31
This is significantly worse than any thread I've ever made. And thats saying something.

Go **** yourself while listening to Blurred Lines. Dickwad.
¯\_()_/¯
#33
Quote by captainsnazz
You left and apparently people are trying to fill the void by posting misc fucked up shit

Yeah but at least I wrote arousing gay porn, this is just tame
#34
Quote by pbiggie
Convert to islam and marry one of them.

This is honestly the only winning suggestion.

Also you'll probably become a better person by getting religion

edit: I should also say I'm not religious at all and a dickhead.
I eat bananas vigorously

BUTTS.

To the pit because i don't feel like doing real life.
Last edited by snappedstrings6 at Jan 2, 2014,
#35
Quote by snappedstrings6
This is honestly the only winning suggestion.

Also you'll probably become a better person by getting religion

Inb4 the shitstorm
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#36
nice to see the pit is still as mature as ever and not progressed from 10 years ago
Originally posted by Diminishedfaith

6. Lied? Would I?
10. Done LSD? who's she?
17. Cheated on someone? it was an accident, i didnt remember i had the gameshark on.....
41. Been called a *****?yes, they rate me 5 stars...
46. Kissed someone in a moving vehicle?no, i dont have insurance
#37
Quote by the bartender
Inb4 the shitstorm


He's not wrong


But this guy doesn't need religion, this guy needs an education. In not being a dumbass.
#39
Quote by Rockford_rocks
He's not wrong

As a non-religious person I feel offended by the suggestion that religion would make me a 'better person'.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#40
Quote by the bartender
As a non-religious person I feel offended by the suggestion that religion would make me a 'better person'.


Not religion itself, but the benefits of being religious. Being a part of something.

I'm not religious, and I can admit some people become better people when they become devoted to something. This is not always true, but that's why I said he's not wrong instead of he's right.

Religion teaches a lot more than "Lol there's this god you better please him or u gon burn in HELL".

Either way, this is a ****ing stupid thread to be discussing this in, so I'm done.
Last edited by Rockford_rocks at Jan 2, 2014,
Page 1 of 2