Poll: What do?
Poll Options
View poll results: What do?
You've been away for so long and THIS is what you come back with?
10 19%
Start smacking her head when she's asleep.
21 39%
Start sleeping in the bathtub.
17 31%
Go home Irish, you're drunk (but I'm totally not, I swear D:)
6 11%
Voters: 54.
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#1
and it takes longer than normal to fall asleep as a result.

So, how do I show my dominance and put this pussy in its place?

I've started ruining her yawns by sticking my finger in her mouth, but that doesn't seem to help. She just keeps coming up to me every 5-10 minutes, smacking my head and then running away and giving me that stupid :3 face that cats make when they want to be smug.

If it helps any, I accidentally smacked my cat off of the couch the other day when I fell asleep there and she woke me up like that.
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#7
Quote by whywefight
I have nothing to add here except that I wish I had a cat.


Learn the art of lassoing and buy one of those guns that shoots tiny sandbags. The lasso should be used to capture the wild cat, and the flying sandbags can be used to take out field mice, smaller rats and squirrels. Those rodents will be used for feeding said lassoed cat.
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#9
Quote by Ssargentslayer
Would you like a medal?


Maybe he has dementia and has forgotten about my existence. I think a medal might be in order here just in case he is. We'll give it to him once, and then get a refund. Either he won't remember and he'll confirm this, or he'll think that it was all a dream and that he should spend less time here. This is a flawless plan.
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#10
I never forgot you bby.

I don't know if you remember me though.

Also, sleep in the tub. You're starting wars man was NEVER meant to start.

v
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Jan 1, 2014,
#11
And here I thought you were dead or had gotten a life or something
Sail upon the open skies
#12
do you have tons of toys and fun things for your cat? that guy with the facial hair always gets cat owners to buy their unruly cats more stuff
#13
I think he just wants you to make love to him. Sometimes you need to be reminded of the ones you love, and who love you.

:3
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#14
Quote by IRISH_PUNK13

then running away and giving me that stupid :3 face that cats make when they want to be smug.


Isn't that every face by a cat?
#15
Shit in his litter box, sleep in his favorite spots, eat his food. That'll learn 'im.
#17
hi irish
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#19
Quote by ehbacon
you could close your door.

cats can open doors breh
Quote by korinaflyingv
On the come up we were listening to Grateful Dead and the music started passing through my bowel and out my arsehole as this violet stream of light. I shat music. It was beautiful.
#21
Too cute for me.
Dance in the moonlight my old friend twilight


Quote by metal4eva_22
What's this about ****ing corpses? My UG senses were tingling.
#23
She probably wants you to follow her.

Or she might just think that waking you up is fun.
Quote by Butt Rayge
Pretty sure Jesus was decaffeinated.


I'm just a hedonist without happiness
#24
Force the cat to sit beside you and not leave while your watching TV next time or something, the cat won't be able to leave by choice and thus assure your dominance. Failing that squirt bottle with water.
Often in ones madness resides genius. Thus for a mind seeped in madness, the imagination is limitless.
#28
Probably trying to boop your nose. You should boop her nose!

That or she wanted to eat your eyeball.
#31
solid thread
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#33
man **** cats
they think they is the shit
WELL YOU AINT NUKKA
**** those bitches

put yo cat in a box outside and put it outside

and get a dog
dogs know they aint top bitch and they fine wit it
they happy bein second in command

but ****in cats
they bitches
those **** attention *****s think theyy Allah
when all they do is dry hump scratching posts

see if a dog is gonna dry hump your leg
they gon do it without shame
dogs just don't give a ****
dogs is just ****in happy to be alive


**** yo cats niggah
¯\_()_/¯
#34
Don't smack the cat back, or it'll end up like 'poking' on facebook. It'll never end, even if you start ignoring it. The pokes'll just keep coming back...
Caution:
This post contains my opinion and/or inaccurate information


Quote by vayne92
I'm genuinely beginning to think you're the best troll of all time


"Emocore is like, when you cry when you break a guitar string"
- Thurston Moore
#36
If it was human who'd smack your head while you were asleep, I'd say kill the person.

As for a cat... aww so cute :3
#38
Just pick the cat up by its scruff and bite them. Not too hard but enough to show dominance. I did this with one of my cats when she was young and she hates everybody but me.
#39
Punish it every time it hits you on the head.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
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