#1
That all the good-looking members of the opposite sex are hooked into long term relationships leaving you little hope that you'll ever meet any single people you're interested in dating, and that are actually interested in dating you?

Well that's because it's ACTUALLY HAPPENED!

http://www.theonion.com/articles/nation-finishes-romantically-pairing-off-except-fo,34873/

Congratulations to those who managed to pair off before the deadline! Were you able to pull yourself into a last-minute fulfilling relationship like it was a subway car about to leave, or are you destined to be a total loser forever?
#4
I think as soon as most people read www.theonion.com they don't even open the link anymore. Satire news, never understood how people thought it was funny.
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#5
Quote by ne14t
Satire news, never understood how people thought it was funny.

Sucks to be you.
Quote by TheSennaj
And well yes, I'll enjoy the carpal tunnel and tendonitis, because trying to get one is clearly smarter than any word you have spoken thus far.
#7
Quote by ne14t
I think as soon as most people read www.theonion.com they don't even open the link anymore. Satire news, never understood how people thought it was funny.


Satire is great.

The one thing I'll say about the Onion though is that usually the headlines are the best part and the articles are kind of shit.
#8
I don't know if it's that I've gotten older or The Onion's gone downhill, but I don't find it as funny anymore as I did two-three years ago.
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#9
Quote by necrosis1193
I don't know if it's that I've gotten older or The Onion's gone downhill, but I don't find it as funny anymore as I did two-three years ago.

I agree, but the older ones were hilarious.
Quote by TheSennaj
And well yes, I'll enjoy the carpal tunnel and tendonitis, because trying to get one is clearly smarter than any word you have spoken thus far.
#10
Quote by Nickpocalypse
Satire is great.

The one thing I'll say about the Onion though is that usually the headlines are the best part and the articles are kind of shit.

Satire always follows what it parodies. Have you read any news lately?
#11
Quote by archangels
Satire always follows what it parodies. Have you read any news lately?


I'm not 100% sure what you're saying
#12
Quote by Nickpocalypse
I'm not 100% sure what you're saying

Most news articles nowadays seem to be just an eye-grabbing headline with some useless filler text underneath it.

The Onion follows this trend (whether they do it on purpose or not), making funny headlines, then writing a bunch of uninteresting crap in the article. It may not be as entertaining, but it sure is effective as satire.
#13
Quote by archangels
Most news articles nowadays seem to be just an eye-grabbing headline with some useless filler text underneath it.

The Onion follows this trend (whether they do it on purpose or not), making funny headlines, then writing a bunch of uninteresting crap in the article. It may not be as entertaining, but it sure is effective as satire.


Ah, got it now. I see what you mean; I don't think it's intentional on Onion's part but it is a pretty good parody of the way news is currently reported. A lot of times I read Onion headlines and then the article is just reiterating the headline over and over again using different words. Once in awhile though the article itself makes me laugh; this one did, especially the very end.
#14
Oh well. At least there's plenty of sluts
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#15
CNN is funnier


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