#1
As I lay under the tree and ponder your face
It makes me realize I am a disgrace
As I watch my life crumble to pieces
Right before my eyes in the palms of my hands

I'm living in sin, but I'm not giving in

When these walls collapse, you won't hear the end of it
But I'm still pulling through
Our city falls, the screams all pierce my ears
It's too late, you missed your chance my dear

The aching pain is like a dagger in my spine
It hurts so much knowing what I left behind
Just keep on sharpening the knife so it won't seem so sharp
And take this heart to remember who we are

No more of what we hoped for
As I watch as my body hits the ground
As I fall through the concrete and take my last breath
As I see my city fall before my eyes
I'm leaving now
#2
Maybe a bit cliche, but I really dig it... some neat metaphors in this one. Especially like the phrase "keep on sharpening the knife so it won't seem so sharp". Keep it up!
#4
Quote by BlindRabbit
Trite. My advice is to give up completely or seriously take up learning how to write.


The troll level is high in this one (considering the join date)
My Soundcloud

My beginner rig:

Epiphone Goth G-400 SG
Line 6 Spider IV (Don't judge me, I was young and stupid)
Stagg SW203N
Yamaha APX500
#5
Quote by BjarnedeGraaf
The troll level is high in this one (considering the join date)


Looking up other posts of BlindRabbit, I wonder he might think a bit (read: quite a bit) too high of himself and his beliefs. You rarely see such pretentious pricks like this one.
#6
Quote by Navi_96
Looking up other posts of BlindRabbit, I wonder he might think a bit (read: quite a bit) too high of himself and his beliefs. You rarely see such pretentious pricks like this one.


So what have we learned? You write trite lyrics, and can't handle criticism. A lethal combo. Do you really want people laughing at you because your lyrics are embarrassingly bad?
#7
We've also learned that if you act like a bellend you get banned.
Actually called Mark!

Quote by TNfootballfan62
People with a duck for their avatar always give good advice.

...it's a seagull

Quote by Dave_Mc
i wanna see a clip of a recto buying some groceries.


stuffmycatswatchontv.tumblr.com
#8
Quote by BlindRabbit
So what have we learned? You write trite lyrics, and can't handle criticism. A lethal combo. Do you really want people laughing at you because your lyrics are embarrassingly bad?


I agree this guy needs to learn to take feedback not everyones a troll if you disagree with them....
#9
I find it funny these two are lashing out at ME for not being able to take criticism for SOMEONE ELSE'S song. I'm sorry if this is pushing it already, but I felt the need to say. Some guys must learn to look at poster names it seems.
#10
Haha I agree with you Navi. I was wondering why they were yelling at you about someone elses post and then going on about the author not knowing how to take criticism when he hasn't even replied to these posts.