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#1
Nobody replied to me in S&L, so I guess I'll just leave this here..

I've been playing my acoustic guitar alot lately and I've been writing these cool little songs. I decided to write some lyrics to go with one of them.
As I lay under the tree and ponder your face
It makes me realize I am a disgrace
As I watch my life crumble to pieces
Right before my eyes in the palms of my hands

I'm living in sin, but I'm not giving in

When these walls collapse, you won't hear the end of it
But I'm still pulling through
Our city falls, the screams all pierce my ears
It's too late, you missed your chance my dear

The aching pain is like a dagger in my spine
It hurts so much knowing what I left behind
Just keep on sharpening the knife so it won't seem so sharp
And take this heart to remember who we are

No more of what we hoped for
As I watch as my body hits the ground
As I fall through the concrete and take my last breath
As I see my city fall before my eyes
I'm leaving now


Any critism is greatly
#3
1/10 would not re-read.
Quote by joshua garcia
I was incredibly drunk and only really remember writing a fanfic where ESP was getting porked by a pony.

Quote by guitar0player
I'd honestly fap to anything with a set of genitals as long as I find it aesthetically appealing.
#4
Quote by Clark83



Any critism is greatly


any critism is greatly what?

WHAT IS CRITISM GREATLY, CLARK!?!? WHAT!?!?!
ayy lmao
#5
Quote by Clark83
Any critism is greatly
It's kind of
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#6
p.s. Sorry to say, but feedback is rare in those forums anyways.
And usually the one's that do expect a c4c, and I'm not cool with that. >:/
Quote by snipelfritz
You lost me at "Lubricate."

I'm raw, like nature. Nature boy. Big jungle leaves are my cum rags.

Sometimes I fuck a bamboo shoot.


There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#7
I just read the last line so I knew how it ended without having to sit through an entire movie.

I assume the rest of the song was about your mother asking you to go to the shop to pick up some milk?
When I was eleven I broke the patio window and my mother sued me... She's always been a very aggressive litigator.
#8
Quote by Clark83
As I lay under the tree

Clark, what the fuck did we tell you about smoking weed? You're ruining your fucking life. Your mother and I just want what's best for you. We don't want you to be a low life druggy like your waste of a father. Cut the shit right now or we will call the cops on you. You're not ruining your life this way. WE CARE ABOUT YOU!!!!!





ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ raise your dongers ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ
#12
Lyrics alone don't give us the whole picture. This isn't poetry, it's music. How the lyrics are set to the music is needed to fully assess the lyrics.
Last edited by macashmack at Jan 12, 2014,
#14
Quote by Clark83
As I lay under the tree and ponder your face
It makes me realize I am a disgrace
As I watch my life crumble to pieces
Right before my eyes in the palms of my hands

I'm living in sin, but I'm not giving in

When these walls collapse, you won't hear the end of it
But I'm still pulling through
Our city falls, the screams all pierce my ears
It's too late, you missed your chance my dear

The aching pain is like a dagger in my spine
It hurts so much knowing what I left behind
Just keep on sharpening the knife so it won't seem so sharp
And take this heart to remember who we are

No more of what we hoped for
As I watch as my body hits the ground
As I fall through the concrete and take my last breath
As I see my city fall before my eyes
I'm leaving now

The ravings of a mariwana ravaged brain.
#15
"The aching pain is like a dagger in my spine
It hurts so much knowing what I left behind"

The withdrawal symptoms will pass in time clark. We're here for you buddy #pray4clark
#16
Clark, are you alright man? Sounds like you're pretty depressed, but just cuz yer mum kicked you out for smoking "the ganja" doesn't mean you gotta kill yerself. Shit son.
banned
#19
You should find someone named Mark and start a band with him.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#21
Quote by the bartender
You should find someone named Mark and start a band with him.

Only if they're debut album is called "Shootin' Sparks"
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#22
Quote by Clark
The aching pain is like a dagger in my spine

Ew, a simile.
Tomorrow will take us away
Far from home
No one will ever know our names
But the bards' songs will remain
Tomorrow will take it away
The fear of today
It will be gone
Due to our magic songs

ALL HAIL CELESTIA
#23
Quote by Ssargentslayer
"The aching pain is like a dagger in my spine
It hurts so much knowing what I left behind"

The withdrawal symptoms will pass in time clark. We're here for you BUDdy #pray4clark

I'm know I'm oh so witty.
#24
All I hear when I read that is CRAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIN!
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#26
Quote by Clark83

I've been playing my acoustic guitar alot lately and I've been writing these cool little songs. I decided to write some lyrics to go with one of them.

*lyrics*


Squier "VMC" Stratocaster
PRS SE Singlecut
tc electronic polytune
CMAT MODS Signa Drive
Blakemore Effects Deus Ex Machina
DIY gaussmarkov Dr. Boogey
EHX Small Clone
Mooer ShimVerb
DIY Beavis Devolt
T-REX Fuel Tank Chameleon
Ampeg GVT52-112
#28
Quote by chookiecookie
any critism is greatly what?

WHAT IS CRITISM GREATLY, CLARK!?!? WHAT!?!?!


He's too rekt by marijuana to know what.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#29
This has been a good read. Well... The comments have been anyway
Originally posted by suckmybassriffs
To become the great tabber, you must first... BECOME A TAB!

Originally posted by Svelle
dude your like the tabbing-master... seriously!
#30
Quote by Clark83
snip


Poorly written uninspired drivel. The lyrics have no clear flow, no rhythm, no style. It seems like you took a bunch of crappy metaphors for depression and formatted them into a list.

"As I watch my life crumble to pieces
Right before my eyes in the palms of my hands"

Should've written something like...

The womb from whence I plopped,
Sorely long for it's embrace,
In days of youth I was dropped,
Caught my cord, yet smacked my face.

Worlds better than the trash you just scrounged out of the shallow pool of misery in which you were cast by the stresses of puberty.

"Just keep on sharpening the knife so it won't seem so sharp"

That line alone is laughably nonsensical and embarrassing.

Back to the drawing board, son.
#31
Stop trying to rhyme.
That whole piece screams of words you found that sounded similar, then stuck them on them end of lines somewhat resembling grammar.

Say what you want to say, say it well, and then work on rhyming if you absolutely have to.
#33
Quote by Mud Martian
"Just keep on sharpening the knife so it won't seem so sharp"

That line alone is laughably nonsensical and embarrassing.

While indeed embarassing, it is not nonsensical. It initially hurts a lot more to be cut by a blunt knife than by a sharpened one, because the latter cuts far more easily. You can cut yourself with a sharp knife without even realising it (until the bleeding starts ofcourse), so you could well say that it seems less sharp than it actually is.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#34
Im convinced your a blaudy troll at this point.
Whats goes around must come down
#35
Pretty dark stuff Clark. Find a support group for getting off of the marijuana man. IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS!
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#36
Quote by Mud Martian
Poorly written uninspired drivel. The lyrics have no clear flow, no rhythm, no style. It seems like you took a bunch of crappy metaphors for depression and formatted them into a list.

"As I watch my life crumble to pieces
Right before my eyes in the palms of my hands"

Should've written something like...

The womb from whence I plopped,
Sorely long for it's embrace,
In days of youth I was dropped,
Caught my cord, yet smacked my face.

His line is superior to the one you just wrote.
#37
claark is this a cry for help? please talk to us we're here for you
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
#38
Clark, please, you really need to cut on the maruwana intake The voids in your brain are already appearing, such as
Quote by Clark83
Any critism is greatly

And this,
Quote by Clark83
As I watch as my body hits the ground
is clearly a consequence of an OD on ganjas. We're trying to make you realise you're destroying yourself, Clark, please
Not sure if a sig is a necessity.
#39
Quote by snipelfritz
Bad Clark! Bad!




Gozd in gora poj,
silen ženimo hrup,
uboga gmajna, le vpup, le vkup,
le vkup, le vkup z menoj,
staro pravdo v mrak tulimo,
da se pretulimo skozi to zimo
#40
clark if youre thinking about suicide please talk to us. we all want to help you
*-)
Quote by Bob_Sacamano
i kinda wish we all had a penis and vagina instead of buttholes

i mean no offense to buttholes and poop or anything

Rest in Peace, Troy Davis and Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis and Eric Garner and Mike Brown
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