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#1
As the title says, come up with something as quickly as possible and post it.

Slap him, slap the vegan, slap him with a steak
succulent meat juice running down his face
mingling with his tears

His face is stinging
his heart is weeping
for the cow turned into a weapon

He falls to his knees and lets out a cry
a desperate rant of bovine genocide
what a tosser
i'm glad i slapped him.
DISCLAIMER: There's a very good chance that i have no idea what i'm talking about.

Quote by CodeMonk
Your sig has never been more true.
And you are a piss poor troll.

Quote by phayzze
Can someone explain to me wtf this guy is on about

#2
Dark clouds fill the sky
Rain falls down, they start to cry
Soldiers are marching by
While citizens ask why

They get shot when they're in the way
It's all a warning not to stay
It might just be my last day
There's no more reason left to stay

and as they lay dead on the floor
I sit behind this closed door
I'm terrified to the core
I don't want to live on this planet anymore

(I felt like using that meme in the last sentence xD)
My Soundcloud

My beginner rig:

Epiphone Goth G-400 SG
Line 6 Spider IV (Don't judge me, I was young and stupid)
Stagg SW203N
Yamaha APX500
Last edited by BjarnedeGraaf at Jan 13, 2014,
#3
Jump over the drunkard
down on the floor
he's pissed his pants
he's blocking the door
is he unconcious or dead
i don't know, i don't care
jump over the drunkard
and ascend the stairs
to the bar.

DISCLAIMER: There's a very good chance that i have no idea what i'm talking about.

Quote by CodeMonk
Your sig has never been more true.
And you are a piss poor troll.

Quote by phayzze
Can someone explain to me wtf this guy is on about

#4
suck me hard suck me good
suck me fuck me, understood?
suck me slower
suck like a leaf blower
blowers don't suck
and suckers don't fuck

a gentle suck
or a sunken fuck
on a night like tonight
it's a fuck suck fight
#6
You start to cry as you wank into a sock
it could be worse, you could be Ian The Fox
a comforting thought that soothes your soul
but deep in your heart you know it's not true
the pants shitting furry is better than you!

I know the truth and i'll tell you why
you're a 14 year old aspie with nary a clue
you don't listen to superior music
like baroque classical or jazz
you're a generic bedroom metalfag!
DISCLAIMER: There's a very good chance that i have no idea what i'm talking about.

Quote by CodeMonk
Your sig has never been more true.
And you are a piss poor troll.

Quote by phayzze
Can someone explain to me wtf this guy is on about

#7
You can't spell banana
without ban and nana
No more grandma
No more nana.

But nana taught me things
like how to make money.
Now that I have banned her
there is no more money
in the banana stand
BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

I SAY, I SAY, BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

They say when they finally attack, all the impostors will peel themselves. In order to tell if you have been assimilated, check for a zipper somewhere near your pelvis.


#8
Quote by TheTee56
You can't spell banana
without ban and nana
No more grandma
No more nana.

But nana taught me things
like how to make money.
Now that I have banned her
there is no more money
in the banana stand



have considered trying other fruits?
I know bananas are your roots
But what about a grape?
or would that feel like rape?
My Soundcloud

My beginner rig:

Epiphone Goth G-400 SG
Line 6 Spider IV (Don't judge me, I was young and stupid)
Stagg SW203N
Yamaha APX500
#13
imma write a rap. eminem style cos i'm listening to eminem.

i hate you
i'mma tape glue to your tonsil and make you steak and stew
and you better chew
cos i'mma throw a brew in your face not seconds after it came from the kettle
and you better settle for a towel for treatment cos i don't got shit but a towel
yeah i just rhymed towel with towel but i did it again, what you gonna do? towel?
bitch i'm gonna make your bowel churn, your tongue burn and your cunt yearn
before i take you down to the grocery store do a stunt and make your soul turn happy and
i'mma turn slappy if you smile cos look close-ell-y and my soul-ya-see? i'm a bee and your
mother got fucked by a TV during lunch when she turned to BBC1 and saw herself
teaching her son how to frisby


BITCH
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
Last edited by laid-to-waste at Jan 13, 2014,
#15
i'm a lesbian man, i only fuck bitches

(not original, by based god)
Click here to hear my BOB DYLAN (Blowing in the Wind) out right now May 2k17
#16
Dum-de-dum, dum-de-dum
Why are you so ****ing dumb?
Dum-de-do, dum-de-do
Who the **** gave birth to you?
#17
I just did and posted it in SNL without even being aware of this thread

Here:
And your neon lights
With their magnet fingers
"Come here, " they say
"We are a blue sun,
A true joy, nature
Is in the lone chair,
Your dusty vagrant
Which will follow you
On either side
Of the hangang river


Honest synthesis
Of sunlight: is it
Here, in Makgolli?
Or, where her black locks
Show the July moon;
It's not in a chair,
a wasted parade of nature.
It's in breath, and roaming
Of sighs and kisses
On her neck, there's moonlight.
#18
Cute Coffee Girl
By: Gibsonbrothers

Oh cute coffee girl, what has come of thee?
Knuckle by knuckle my fist barrels up your ass
Forcing the walls of seperation
You got your favorite lotion: hydrochloric acid
Now as the police arrive
I tell them my dogs name
Dan
Last edited by gibsonbrothers at Jan 13, 2014,
#19
There once was a man
Who wondered and wondered
and they ladies they ran
from his ugly old face

he was a disgrace
with his ugly old face

He had no friends
He was far too ugly
He was sad about this
and he had no money

So he chopped off his dick
and bled out till he died
#20
Quote by gibsonbrothers
Cute Coffee Girl
By: Gibsonbrothers

Oh cute coffee girl, what has come of thee?
Knuckle by knuckle my fist barrel up your ass
Forcing the walls of seperation
You got your favorite lotion: hydrochloric acid
Now as the police arrive
I tell them my dogs name
Dan

This was mildly disturbing
#21
Quote by macashmack
There once was a man
Who wondered and wondered
and they ladies they ran
from his ugly old face

he was a disgrace
with his ugly old face

He had no friends
He was far too ugly
He was sad about this
and he had no money

So he chopped off his dick
and bled out till he died


Can you call this 'The Ballad of Philip_Pepper'?
#23
Well, what the hell here goes

There was a time
when hours were the last thing to pop into my mind.
I’ve wasted all my powers in trying to get it right,
but I can’t, so I guess I have to wait ‘til I get my reform.
Until then I shall live fulfilling each social norm.
The main thing you weren’t taught is you have to be conformed
to get by,

but getting by is such a drag.
I grew up as a rebel, now I face the fact
that fighting is a backfire to success
and success doesn't mandatorily mean fame.
I will remain unknown and unnamed.
You won’t build anything not getting paid,
so save your fist in the air for the concert.
#25
This thread is ****ing shit
It is also gay because, it's fucking shit
Yo I'm the best MC in the game, nigga
I eat pussy and I just came, nigga
Y'all niggas try to fuck with the true nigga
I pop niggas like they fucking Jews, nigga
My rhymes be needing a trigger warning, nigga
Because they be offensive to all the other niggas
Y'all niggas be retarded like Axelfox
Yous slowin down when you see me like caltrops
Cos I pop cops with glocks until they drop while I rock to the top
Stop you like you walk before it's even dark
And yo, I ain't my Axel homie
He's a bit slow, but dayum, he got love for all the ponies
Surely Shirley Temple wouldn't be at his genitals
It's incredible that this isn't rhetorical
Or is it metaphorical? I don't know but isn't def ain't allegorical
Maybe it's historical, but most def logical
I just realised I wasted my time with this shit thread
I'm out niggas, time to get head
#26
Quote by BjarnedeGraaf
have considered trying other fruits?
I know bananas are your roots
But what about a grape?
or would that feel like rape?


I love things that grow
not grape genitals
but surely you know
bananas are vegetables
BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

I SAY, I SAY, BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

They say when they finally attack, all the impostors will peel themselves. In order to tell if you have been assimilated, check for a zipper somewhere near your pelvis.


#28
Quote by TheTee56
I love things that grow
not grape genitals
but surely you know
bananas are vegetables

If you love things that grow then eat my dick
But srs, bananas taste like shit
It's a boring yellow prick the colour of piss
You get the jist, bananas are so shit
#29
Quote by SaintVitus
As the title says, come up with something as quickly as possible and post it.

Slap him, slap the vegan, slap him with a steak
succulent meat juice running down his face
mingling with his tears

His face is stinging
his heart is weeping
for the cow turned into a weapon

He falls to his knees and lets out a cry
a desperate rant of bovine genocide
what a tosser
i'm glad i slapped him.



My god, that is good
There's only one boss I listen to, and that's why I'm unemployed.
#30
Quote by Malchius
Can you call this 'The Ballad of Philip_Pepper'?

I'll write music around it and post it as my song for the weekly songwriting game if you vote for me
#31
Quote by LostLegion
If you love things that grow then eat my dick
But srs, bananas taste like shit
It's a boring yellow prick the colour of piss
You get the jist, bananas are so shit


did you just rhyme shit with shit
that is laziness I can't permit
bananas make people go whoosh
but you make me think you're a douche

BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

I SAY, I SAY, BEWARE THE BANANA ARMY.

They say when they finally attack, all the impostors will peel themselves. In order to tell if you have been assimilated, check for a zipper somewhere near your pelvis.


#32
Broken and lonely I lay in my bed
I think of something witty that I should have said
Oh well, too late, nothing more I can do
except head to reddit and get karma from you
I stare at the screen, being useless as a gnat
Oh no! What's that? I fapped to a cat?!

Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#33
I hope your wife gets raped,
'Cause she is a slut.
I hope she gets hanged,
By her own guts.

I hope you are the one,
that finds her hanging,
And that she was killed by,
The guy she was banging.

They were planning on running away,
And she was gonna divorce you.
But he killed that bitch,
'Cause she cheated on him too.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#34
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#36
That quickly escalated
he exclaimed as he was inflated
His skin tore from his muscles,
muscle from bone
His eye bulged out and looked like truffles
and I beat him with a stone.

His tongue filled his mouth
he knew his fate was heading south
he tried to beg UG to help
but his fingers were too swollen
couldn't even let out a welp
I'll let him blow up more while I go bowlin'

Five hours later I came back home
had to see what my work had shown
you could hear the boom from far away, I heard
poor eGraham blew up wide and tall
I feel no remorse for that silly orange turd
but I really don't like cleaning him off my wall.


eGraham
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#37
Quote by Trowzaa
I wish I was American.

~ A Rolling Potato Gathers No Moss ~
#38
yo i bite my nails so i've got ****ed up cuticles
ace ventura taught me how to spell beautiful
i only eat 1 meal a day and it's a cornish pasty
dem fi try but dem nah get past me

monging out to a tune i released
writing bare grime bars on my bed
ask my yardie man wagwarn for informers
and dem say all pussywole informer di ded
#39
I stood on the rock by the river so clear,
a gnarly, old creature approached from the rear.
I tried to resist but its arms were too strong
and already it was extracting its dong.

So frightened and dazed I tried calling for help
but sounds coming from me were more like a yelp.
Its wet and gnarled wood was inside of me,
but at least I have lost my virginity.
Not sure if a sig is a necessity.
#40
Hey Burgery, why'd you sell out?
You used to be cool, but now you're a trout
Claiming to be an admin, wanting to be with the man
and to think I used to call myself a fan.
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
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