#1
No matter how blue,
My world is without you,
I'm still sick of you,
Cause you are so stuck up,
And I'm about to blow up,
So why don't you grow up?

I bet you think that the world revolves around you,
Why can't you get a clue,
Nobody cares who you did,
Or who you are going to,
I got crayons that are sharper than you.

You say that I am naive,
But I perceive,
More than you know,
So you better believe,
That I am so sick of you.

I bet you think that the world,
Revolves around you,
Why can't you get a clue,
Nobody cares who you did,
Or who you are going to,
I got crayons that are sharper than you.


What do you guys think?
#5
I like the clever analogies, but isn't this a little bit too straight forward? Or i don't know, maybe it's not just my type of music, but i imagine some sort of rap-or maybe scraemo music over this?

It sounds kinda cliché to be totally honest
#6
Not really. It was written about my enemy. She always thought that everything revolved around her and she made my life miserable. So it's dedicated to her and ,y best friends cheating boyfriend. The verses to him the chorus to her.
#7
Quote by Meli2235
Not really. It was written about my enemy. She always thought that everything revolved around her and she made my life miserable. So it's dedicated to her and ,y best friends cheating boyfriend. The verses to him the chorus to her.


You should probably explain these kinds of things in the first post. It gives some backstory to the idea behind the lyrics.
At first glance it seems like a very poprock generic popsong. it's average.

Especially the first stanza bugs me

No matter how blue,
My world is without you,
I'm still sick of you,
Cause you are so stuck up,
And I'm about to blow up,
So why don't you grow up?


you repeat the last words so much. you start out with a rhyme and then stop rhyming after that.
I'd go for rhymes throughout the entire verse, and then maybe stop rhyming in the chorus if that was what you were going for.

(btw... ur enemies? are you like a superhero?)
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Last edited by BjarnedeGraaf at Jan 20, 2014,