#1
Or something, haven't came up with a title, or even a chorus. I have a slight idea though what to do. Its a pretty basic 3 chord acoustic song, kinda wrote it like 5 minutes ago and have had some drinks.

I'm not in shape to judge it, so i'd like you guys to see.


When the bottle is empty
and the wells are dry
when the night is here
and silence over our ears

Then you'll say
"please... dont let me go"

In the dark, no eyes can be seen
but in light, i see you lie to me
and in winter, the cold moon shined
it's funny how time passed us by

So all in all, what i have to say
when our cigarettes have all died away
"from these ashes, no flying will bird rise"
so you said, with tears dropping from your eyes

Then you said
"Please, stay for another day"

If you like it, i got some more stuff. Any critique would be appreciated, although ill probably forget to check this tomorow.
Last edited by Petolvan at Jan 19, 2014,
#2
I think you mean "from these ashes, no flying bird will rise" Some of it doesn't make sense but I do like the middle verse. This part

In the dark, no eyes can be seen
but in light, i see you lie to me
and in winter, the cold moon shined
it's funny how time passed us by
#3
Quote by Meli2235
I think you mean "from these ashes, no flying bird will rise" Some of it doesn't make sense but I do like the middle verse. This part

In the dark, no eyes can be seen
but in light, i see you lie to me
and in winter, the cold moon shined
it's funny how time passed us by


Thanks alot mate! Thats why i added the title "pheonix", because well it might be a little too far fetched. This is definatly not my best work, but i'm happy you enjoyed that part! Thanks again for commenting!