#1
When the time is here
I won't cower in fear
I will grow a spine
And take what is mine
I'm not even close to a cliche
Even though I might sound that way.
I know this has been said before
And I hope you aren't keeping score
But I need one chance
Before I can advance
To prove to you all
That I have the gall
To go forward
I maybe awkward
But I have the will
To make it still
This thirst can't be sated,
When I am motivated,
I may not be the best
But I do have zest
And I have the passion
Not to mention the compassion
To make it in this biz
Cause I am the whiz
Given one chance
I will be ready to take my stance.
#2
hey i have read some of your other lyrics aswell, may i first ask..have you just started writing? if so then this style of writing is pretty natural. your discovering rhymes and word play.

One tip i can give you which i have noticed your doing, is your writing lines JUST to make it all rhyme properly. very monotone-esq poetry.

Try writing what you feel or your thoughts rather than forcing lines to rhyme.

"to make it in this biz, cause i am the whiz" lines like that show this. Try more depth and not so much planning. Another thing you could try is to make words rhyme but one sentance takes up two lines. a shitty example

to make it in this biz
because thats how it is
when your given one chance

i just wrote a shit paragraph but its there as an example of what i mean. keep writing, you can only gain more knowledge