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#1
Being as this is the pit I am assuming a majority of posters are married and well respected members of their community , but seriously I think some of you may understand what I am talking about. Whether it be about a wife/husband, fiancé, or boyfriend/girlfriend, this is a thread where you can vent about their family.

I will begin, and I hope Roger Waters doesn't sue me for my use of the text wall, here are just some of the things that annoy me about my in-laws.

1.) They feel entitled to everything in our house. Helping yourself to a beverage is fine, but coming over and helping yourself to my robe (as her mother of all people did) without my permission is not. Feeling entitled to our computer is not ok, asking if you may use it is fine, but making passive aggressive comments like "I really wish Bourbonstreet (I guess we are going with the story that that is my real name) would get off the computer so I can use it" while I am Christmas shopping for their sister, my fiancé, is not ok.

2.) Snooping around is not ok with me. The incident of the robe is a great example, the thing is, I had no idea where that even was. We had just moved and I'm sure it was buried in a box somewhere in the back of a closet in a spare room they had no business in anyway. I cannot imagine the level of snooping around which she had to go through to find it.

3.) "Fixing" things that don't need to be fixed. Her dad has a history of doing this. He once woke me up at 4:30 in the morning because he didn't like that my furnace was going off as often as it did. I explained to him that is how that particular furnace is, I had it checked out at the beginning of the season, and the trailer we lived in at the time wasn't well insulated so didn't hold heat that well. He kept at it until I checked it out with him, we were looking at it for atleast 30-45 minutes, and mind you I had to get up for work at 6. Of course he found nothing wrong, though he wouldn't concede his point.

That same visit I walk into the kitchen to catch him peeling off tile I had put down a few months prior because he "just wanted to see the floor boards". He never offered to help me lay them back down. When I bought some more adhesive and asked him to help me lay back the tiles (and in some cases replace the ones I couldn't salvage) he made a noncommittal answers and I was left to do it myself.

4.) The childish bickering between her mum and 35 year old sister who still lives at home. To put it bluntly, they act more childish than my 2 year old niece. They are constantly picking at each other (literally picking), and egging each other on. Eventually it leads to both of them throwing temper tantrums, the kind you would get a time out for as a child. They have no social filter about it, I am sure they would act that way at a funeral.

5.) The micromanaging and impossible expectations of her dad. This doesn't just apply with me, my fiancé grew up with it. He micromanages her life at every opportunity (now with the wedding approaching he is in overdrive). In regards to the wedding, he approached my fiancé about financing the alcohol at the reception, now, just as we have all the finances arranged with our respective families, he wants to back out because he is certain that he will somehow get sued, and is starting to take the opinion that we need to have a dry reception. It's not that I am ungrateful for any financial help, but that was the only thing he had to take care of, and was by far the cheapest... AND HE IS THE ONE WHO OFFERED TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. The fact he wants to back out after all the other financial arrangements have been made means he would not help us with the wedding at all, and just puts more burden on us as we are financing most of it ourselves. He is now wall bombing my fiancé's facebook page with things about her planning he doesn't like; "Why does the bridal party have to buy their dresses here and not this place" "I see you need to insure the hall, I don't remember having to do that at ours"

Every once in a while when I ask my fiancé an honest question, she snaps at me like I just called her stupid, I never understood this until I met her dad. He likes to pop quiz everyone about the most inane subjects "What were three staples in the diet of an average ancient Egyptian", it's like, "who the **** cares", but he will keep hounding you until you answer. If you don't have a guess, or get it wrong he gives you a response like, "you don't know?!" as if to say "how could you be so dumb?!" It doesn't affect me much, because I find it all to be dumb as shit, but growing up with that I can imagine how that would affect how one felt about their intelligence. Of course the pop quizzes is but one way he belittles people around him, but that was the example that led to my "eureka moment" in that regard.


6.) They can't take no for an answer. The first time I met the family, her dad asked me if I would like to join them in card games. I politely declined, as I have tried in the past but didn't understand/care much for card games. They had enough players to enjoy themselves, but he kept insisting, and though I never agreed to it, he dealt me hand after hand. When I didn't put down the cards he would have he'd make remarks like "Now, why would you play a hand like that" in an annoyed manner. After about an hour or so of this I excused myself and had a smoke outside, my fiancé joined me and could see I was having a shitty time. When we went in she told her dad to stop dealing me cards, but to no avail. To this day he keeps dealing me cards against my will... NO MEANS NO.

There are many other examples of the things they do to irritate me, that I am sure I will get into later, but for now you may comment on this post, or share your own stories.
#3
I love my in-laws. They are amazing people in every single way.

TS needs some D real bad.

Edit: After actually reading your wall of text, I agree with the others: Your in-laws are idiots. You have to draw a line and tell them that what they are doing is not ok, and that they need to stop.
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Last edited by Fishybones at Jan 21, 2014,
#4
Your inlaws sound like dicks :/ I'm sorry for you. Going through your stuff without asking permission is almost unforgiveable. Who the hell does that? That father sounds like such a cheap little annoying man who doesn't have much to fill his shoes with. Don't let them bring you down man.

I know this isn't quite the same, but my father pisses me off in a big way so often....

We'll be watching football right? We "support" the same team.. I say "support" because he spends 90 minutes trashing them, saying every player should be sold, that we'll be relegated and that the manager doesn't have a clue what he is doing... (Now, i support Liverpool, and we are actually having the best season since 2010...) I have often told him to stop, even getting so annoyed and perhaps a little heard and telling him to shit his fat mouth but nothing works at all..

Also, when we are discussing, he starts throwing out percentages of stuff he has no idea about. He just invents factual numbers to win arguments about things he really doesn't know the facts of. He really just tries to troll me all the time.. When we don't watch football and don't argue/discuss and he doesn't eat near me (his jaw makes this really weird clicking noise.... and his eyes look like a pugs about to fall out of his head ) then he is a great guy, and quite funny.. And he's my dad so of course i love him.. But god can he really be an asshole sometimes..

Good luck with your assholes-inlaw
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#5
That same visit I walk into the kitchen to catch him peeling off tile I had put down a few months prior because he "just wanted to see the floor boards". He never offered to help me lay them back down.

lol that guy sounds like a right twat
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#6




Hey Ts, put your foot down around them. They're really intruding on your personal life with your wife, and that shit is a big no no. Also, that random pop quiz shit is hilarious, you should just google everything on your phone, or pop quiz him sometime with questions that he'd never get, and if he does manage to answer your question, you really need to consider how much smarter he is than you.

I'm glad I don't have to deal with my in-laws as much. They're in Mexico, and they only speak spanish. It's hard to communicate with them for the most part, but it works out.
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#7
Sounds like a setup for an episode of Curb.

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#8
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Also, that random pop quiz shit is hilarious, you should just google everything on your phone, or pop quiz him sometime with questions that he'd never get, and if he does manage to answer your question, you really need to consider how much smarter he is than you.

I'm glad I don't have to deal with my in-laws as much. They're in Mexico, and they only speak spanish. It's hard to communicate with them for the most part, but it works out.


I should turn the tables on the pop quizzes. Along the same lines a co-worker suggested I force him to play Call of Duty, then criticize every move he makes.

As you alluded to above, it wouldn't be as bad in small doses, but they invite themselves over with little to no notice. In the past month they have been over 4 times, and they live about 75 miles away, I just dread the day the decide to stay for an extended visit.
#10
Quote by Burgery
lol that guy sounds like a right twat


He does stuff like that all the time. He will mess with stuff, claiming that he is trying to fix a small or often nonexistent problem, only to make matters worse and walk off nonchalantly making statements like "you may want to fix this".

I have this feeling I will arrive home one day from work and he will be in the drive way, possibly getting ready to get in his car, my house behind him in flames. I stand there in disbelief and in utter confusion as to what has transpired as he casually says "now, you might want to call the fire department" right before he takes off.

Two weeks later I will find out he came over that fateful morning unannounced and discovering the homestead was uninhabited, let himself in through an open window. He went to make himself some breakfast in this scenario, and upon inspecting his toast discovered it had not blackened to his liking. He popped off the outlet cover and started twiddling with the wires behind starting the fire.

When confronted by us, he seems genuinely taken aback as to why we are making a big deal out of it, stating "you have house insurance".


Sure the above hypothetical situation may be an exaggeration, but that is the kind of liberty the entire family takes with our possessions, and sadly a small part of me thinks that situation is a possibility.
#11
Quote by Bourbonstreet
"What were three staples in the diet of an average ancient Egyptian"

As far as we know there were actualy only two true staples, bread and beer, and this was true for practicaly everyone, regardles of a persons wealth or lack of it. These were sometimes accompanied with vegetables and occasionaly with meat but the staples were just 'bread and beer'.

Quote by Fishybones
I love my in-laws. They are amazing people in every single way.

TS needs some D real bad.

Edit: After actually reading your wall of text, I agree with the others: Your in-laws are idiots. You have to draw a line and tell them that what they are doing is not ok, and that they need to stop.


Agreed completely, I also get along well with my in-laws and what the TS is going through really is not a normal situation. Infact, Bourbonstreet, it's probably best to have a word with your wife, explain to her that the whole ridiculous situation (and it is an incredibly ridiculous situation) is really getting you down and get her to draw the line. They're her family after all, if it comes from you they're just going to assume that it's just you being unreasonable, but if it's her that it comes from they might take it more seriously.

Alternatively, arrange a meeting with a marriage counselor and take your father-in-law along with you, then show him the affect that he and the rest of his family are having on their daughter's marriage to you.
Don't lose your temper with them, that'll just make you the one that's at fault in their eyes, but tell them how depressed it's making you, which obviously also has an effect on the happiness of their daughter too. The trick is to make them feel guilty for the way they've behaved.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Jan 21, 2014,
#12
He sounds exactly like a girl I dated's dad. My god he was an as*, and did all those things. I wondered if you were here current bf reading that haha.

This guy was such a d*ck he, controlled everything in her and her mothers lives. Gave them each strict money allowances (her mom worked too), wouldn't let them read the mail (their mailbox locked, and when they went on vacation he asked me to get it and put it I. A locked cabinet in his office), and had a "college buddy" that every now and then he'd spent the night at his house, and no one but him had met him. I told my gf at the time I bet it was a woman, and she got pissed. Years later it turned out he had an affair the whole time. She ended up acting like him a lot and I got out of there, but the mental abuse her and her mom went through, it probably wasn't her fault.

God bless whoever ends up hitched to that family.
#13
My mother in law passed away before we married and the father in law is meh
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#14
Quote by SlackerBabbath
Agreed completely, that really is not a normal situation, infact, it's probably best to have a word with your wife, explain to her that the whole ridiculous situation (and it is an incredibly ridiculous situation) is really getting you down and get her to draw the line. They're her family after all, if it comes from you they're just going to assume that it's just you being unreasonable, but if it's her that it comes from they might take it more seriously.

Alternatively, arrange a meeting with a marriage counselor and take your father-in-law along with you, then show him the affect that he and the rest of his family are having on their daughter's marriage to you.
Don't lose your temper with them, that'll just make you the one that's at fault in their eyes, but tell them how depressed it's making you, which obviously also has an effect on the happiness of their daughter too. The trick is to make them feel guilty for the way they've behaved.


Not bad idea's at all, there have been plenty of times when she has called all of them out on the behaviors I have described above. The message just never gets through. Her dad probably isn't inherently a bigger dickhead than most people, the problem is he, and her family (minus her and one of her sisters) have no social filters and they are self centered in the way toddlers are.

I really don't think they have learned to concept of "other people" and therefore cannot empathize with anyone. The card games and pop quizzes are examples of this ("well I love card games, so must Bourbonstreet" or "I find ancient Egyptians fascinating and I must know everything about them, everyone else feels the same way"). Another example is how her mum constantly interrupts people when they are talking to say something completely unrelated to the topic ("Mike and Jessica went to the mail box today even though they didn't have any mail"). It's like, why the **** does anyone care about that mundane detail about what 2 people who they don't know did?

It seems any attempt to make them feel guilty will be for naught, I do not believe they have the ability to genuinely empathize and understand the concept that other people think differently than them to get it. Thankfully my fiancé see's this in them, I'm not sure in the same way I do, but to the point where I know I'm not being the bad guy here. I sometimes feel she is like the West Texan flower the turd blossom, though I know well enough to never call her that

edit: after further reading on that link I would like to clarify I mean in the way something beautiful comes from a less than perfect upbringing.
Last edited by Bourbonstreet at Jan 21, 2014,
#15
Eh. I like my girlfriend's Mom and Aunt. They kind of just look at me and smile 99% of the time. Their English is really bad and they don't even want to bother with it most of the time :-)
#17
Oh, and another quick story... one that is probably a bit more light hearted.

You should know this before I go any further, I get they are trying to be nice, but seriously what the ****?! So like all parents they will occasionally ask my fiancé if she needs groceries, she may say yes, or she may say no, (but we never do) it doesn't matter in the end because they have their mind made up. When they do bring stuff over it is canned food that has expired years ago. The last time they did it was probably October 2013, everything in the box they brought over expired in 2007 or earlier! If you figure the manufacturers give the food stuffs a shelf life of 3 years that would mean that it's been sitting around their house for nearly 10 years! I understand that American's can be too tip-picky about expiration dates, but there is a limit, I'm not eating 10 year old spaghetti-o's.

I wonder if that's their way of cleaning their house, ("Let's let them throw it away"). She has told me on occasion she is scared of eating their cooking for that reason... a couple weeks ago they offered us both a glass milk for dinner that was well past the expiration date and "tasted funny"
#18
Quote by Bourbonstreet
He does stuff like that all the time. He will mess with stuff, claiming that he is trying to fix a small or often nonexistent problem, only to make matters worse and walk off nonchalantly making statements like "you may want to fix this".

I have this feeling I will arrive home one day from work and he will be in the drive way, possibly getting ready to get in his car, my house behind him in flames. I stand there in disbelief and in utter confusion as to what has transpired as he casually says "now, you might want to call the fire department" right before he takes off.

Two weeks later I will find out he came over that fateful morning unannounced and discovering the homestead was uninhabited, let himself in through an open window. He went to make himself some breakfast in this scenario, and upon inspecting his toast discovered it had not blackened to his liking. He popped off the outlet cover and started twiddling with the wires behind starting the fire.

When confronted by us, he seems genuinely taken aback as to why we are making a big deal out of it, stating "you have house insurance".


Sure the above hypothetical situation may be an exaggeration, but that is the kind of liberty the entire family takes with our possessions, and sadly a small part of me thinks that situation is a possibility.


Welcome to imagination land.
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#19
Quote by beatreebor
Why do you put up with these people? grow a spine.


Until they wear down my patience to the point I can't help but to not tell them off (and I am nothing if not patient with people) I don't feel it is my place. I feel it is best I voice concerns with my fiancé, and have her try to make them understand any grievances we may have.
#20
In laws suck mine are so weird two of them met and got married a year later
The worst part they met at a funeral they didn't really care about they were flirting the hole time
I feel ya dude
#21
My in-laws are awesome, and i only see them once a year for a few weeks so there's not really any time for them to annoy me. I visit Japan once a year and stay at their house, they take us heaps of places, pay for everything every time we go out out for dinner etc. and give us money to take back to Australia when we leave. And they are easygoing people, no dramas at all.
#22
That sounds like they are shitty people. KILL THEM... >_>...<_<
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#23
Quote by Bourbonstreet
Until they wear down my patience to the point I can't help but to not tell them off (and I am nothing if not patient with people) I don't feel it is my place. I feel it is best I voice concerns with my fiancé, and have her try to make them understand any grievances we may have.


I'd like them to post their side of the story here.
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#24
Quote by Bourbonstreet
Not bad idea's at all, there have been plenty of times when she has called all of them out on the behaviors I have described above. The message just never gets through. Her dad probably isn't inherently a bigger dickhead than most people, the problem is he, and her family (minus her and one of her sisters) have no social filters and they are self centered in the way toddlers are.



Yeah, I think what often happens when people move out of the family home and into their own place is that their family kinda treat the new place as an extension of the family home. It belongs to their son/daughter/sibling, but it's treated more like their old bedroom was when they lived at home.

I remember when my brother got married and moved out, at first my own parents were a bit like that. Constantly popping around there, doing things that they thought would be a help to the newly married couple but without asking their opinion first. What really bugged my brother was the fact that they never even knocked on the front door before entering the house, they'd just walk in as if it were their own house.
So he fixed that one day by arranging to be having sex on the living room sofa with his wife when he knew damned well than his parents were due to be visiting. They wlaked in, wlakerd straight back out again and never entered that house wothout knocking first ever again.
#25
Quote by SlackerBabbath

So he fixed that one day by arranging to be having sex on the living room sofa with his wife when he knew damned well than his parents were due to be visiting. They wlaked in, wlakerd straight back out again and never entered that house wothout knocking first ever again.

You heard it here OP, best get to it.
#26
Quote by Bourbonstreet
In the past month they have been over 4 times, and they live about 75 miles away, I just dread the day the decide to stay for an extended visit.

Okay, now that's just wrong. I feel for ya, breh.


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#28
Quote by SlackerBabbath
Yeah, I think what often happens when people move out of the family home and into their own place is that their family kinda treat the new place as an extension of the family home. It belongs to their son/daughter/sibling, but it's treated more like their old bedroom was when they lived at home.

I remember when my brother got married and moved out, at first my own parents were a bit like that. Constantly popping around there, doing things that they thought would be a help to the newly married couple but without asking their opinion first. What really bugged my brother was the fact that they never even knocked on the front door before entering the house, they'd just walk in as if it were their own house.
So he fixed that one day by arranging to be having sex on the living room sofa with his wife when he knew damned well than his parents were due to be visiting. They wlaked in, wlakerd straight back out again and never entered that house wothout knocking first ever again.


Quote by Thrashtastic15
You heard it here OP, best get to it.


I had the same with my sister walking in on me having a wank.
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#29
Surely TS's father in law would just stand there criticising though?

"Missionary eh? You sure you don't wanna try doggy-style son? That's how Martha and I made our little princess and gee, look how she turned out." he says while dashing a manly tear from his eye.
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#31
TS has basically confirmed that his in-laws are trying to kill him with poisoned food and drinks. Not only that but they're making you suffer in between
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#32
Be mindful that you are not only marrying your fiance, but also her family. Don't expect it to get better or change even if you set boundaries. Not going to happen.
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#33
You assumed wrong. No one here is married.
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
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#34
Theres a time were you have to mushroom stamp a couple of them to get your point understood.
Whats goes around must come down
#35
my in-laws are okay face-to-face. i know they talk smack when i'm not around though, and probably more recently since i went to jail.

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Last edited by Dregen at Jan 21, 2014,
#38
This reminds me of that episode of The Simpsons where Lisa got married to a British guy.

And yes, getting caught having sex sounds like an excellent idea. (seriously)
#39
just want to point out that canned food doesnt "expire", it has dates on it but that shits good for decades. The dates are only there so you'll (hopefully) throw it out and buy new ones
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#40
My gf's dad/sister/brother are all nice, although her step-mom is a gigantic bitch. But I can't really say they're nice to me, more like to them I don't exist.
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