#1
remember us here before
when there were no sounds
we could not speak
and language was only a thought.
our nudity was not depraved
an expression of love was a touch
and sex a simple motion.
we’d watch the sky
with no need to understand
you and i would fall asleep
and dream of no notions
just passing moments
of the way one lies in the
indentation of another
or the color a soft breeze
leaves on your cheek
of when we’d sleep under redwood trees
and silence didn’t mean that we were empty.
oh, sometimes i pray i was deaf
to only see and taste
and rest on you.
but, there are sounds
and so i paint myself distracted.
as ourselves are no longer infantile
we’ve clothed each other
and filled our mouthes with cluttered words.
still, i look for silence
illiterate, unsure when love was not a word.
in search of when you and i were just
a movement.
our bodies and our minds
only concerned with simple fulfillment.
#2
very refreshing to read something of yours again, though i'm a little drunk i'll try and nitpick anything if i can.

Quote by pixiesfanyo
remember us here before
when there were no sounds
we could not speak
and language was only a thought.
our nudity was not depraved
an expression of love was a touch
and sex a simple motion.
we’d watch the sky
with no need to understand

up to this point i'm loving it, can't say much else.

you and i would fall asleep
and dream of no notions
just passing moments
of the way one lies in the
indentation of another
or the color a soft breeze
leaves on your cheek
of when we’d sleep under redwood trees

only thing i didn't care for much here was the use of "asleep" earlier on and following with "sleep" at the end, i personally feel those two words follow too closely with each other and kind of echo each other too much; i'd suggest using the word "rest" or another similar word in lieu of "sleep" at the end, but that's just me.

and silence didn’t mean that we were empty.
oh, sometimes i pray i was deaf
to only see and taste
and rest on you.

the only quarrel i have here would be the usage of the word "and", again, that's probably just me; i see you used the word "rest" here so my previous suggestion of using that in the last part is kind of bleh, haha, i guess i don't have any other suggestions right now for any change, haha.

but, there are sounds
and so i paint myself distracted.
as ourselves are no longer infantile
we’ve clothed each other
and filled our mouthes with cluttered words.

the third line reads a little awkwardly to me, probably because of the beer i've had, haha, but other than that, i'd take that "e" out of "mouths"

still, i look for silence
illiterate, unsure when love was not a word.
in search of when you and i were just
a movement.
our bodies and our minds
only concerned with simple fulfillment.


okay, so in general, i loved this, i wanted to try and be helpful and give a good crit but being drunk may have messed that up, but i tried to nitpick best i could in this state, haha; awesome piece, dude, i'm glad i was able to read something of yours again. if you have time, i posted something earlier too i'd love a crit/thoughts on. i hope all is well.