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#1
But I'm in a bit of a difficult situation.

See, my sister is Christian and my family are Atheists. I could just end the thread there, but I'll be a little bit more specific about the particular issue.

When it came to answering the question as to who the most important people in their lives, my sister said without hesitation that she has a far, far higher regard for God than her own family.

Shitstorm happens. Not at all surprising. She is so determined in her own beliefs that she is completely unapologetic for what she just said. So the relationship between her and her family suffers. My parents are furious and call her an ungrateful bitch.

I overhear all of this and despite the fact that what my parents have said to her is perfectly understandable, I cannot help but sympathise with my sister. It is absolutely 100% her fault for saying what she said, but I know that in the mindset she has, I know that she isn't deliberately trying to sound ungrateful. It is in her own beliefs that if rifts occur in family members because of differing beliefs, then so be it.

She's miserable because of her dismissal, again, absolutely her fault. But some part of me wants to help her despite it, yet I have no idea how to give her any kind of support for this outside of trying to convince her to apologise. But I don't know how to do that since her beliefs are the roadblock.

Can anyone here help? Is there really nothing I can do?

TL;DR: She isn't hot
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#2
If you want to help her, just be nice to her and support her despite her beliefs. Not much else to do, is there?
#5
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
But I don't know how to do that since her beliefs are the cockblock.

Can anyone here help? Is there really nothing I can do?


slip her some lsd and then dress up in a jesus costume. All you need is a beard and a white robe

She's yours for the taking.

Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
TL;DR: She isn't hot


This may be a deal breaker though.
ayy lmao
Last edited by chookiecookie at Feb 6, 2014,
#6
Tell her to honor thy father and mother more.
And try to be hotter while she's at it.

But then again, if it's that easy for her parents to call her a b, I wouldn't be honoring them much either. That's just cold. She deserves better.
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Last edited by Joshua Garcia at Feb 6, 2014,
#7
Right

So she believes in an omnipotent, all loving, all powerful deity which will one day save the Earth from Lucifer and bring them to Heaven, and she holds Him in higher moral regard than her parents? Cause that seems kinda logical if you're following that basic principle. He is the head of a monotheistic religion it kind of makes sense that he is held higher than mortal beings who sin.

I could go into how (assuming you follow it) he also basically bullies you into having "free will" but threatens you with ultimate eternal suffering if you don't adhere to his supposedly exactingly correct ways of living but simultaneously claims to love you but let's not go there
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Last edited by Banjocal at Feb 6, 2014,
#9
I think your parents are asshats.

If you are any degree more open-minded than them, let her know that she can talk to you about religious stuff, even if it doesn't float your proverbial boat. Because this isn't about her being religious, it's about your family not accepting her because of her beliefs.
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#10
Tell her that you respect her for standing up for her beliefs. Support from someone in her family would probably mean a lot.

Also your parents are asshats.
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#11
No shit she's gonna put God before her family. All Christians are supposed to put God before everyone.
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#12
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE

TL;DR: She isn't hot


well shit, calling it now lads, calling it now, pack it up
It's over simplified, So what!

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#14
Your parents are assholes for raising a shitstorm over this
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#15
If she truly believes in God and all that that entails, then she totally should feel that way. However, that's a completely ridiculous way to feel.
#16
How old is she?

I'm not asking to be an arse. It actually matters. If she's ten then your parents are dickish, but if she's twenty then she could've been a bit more subtle.
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Last edited by bifteksupernova at Feb 6, 2014,
#17
Tell her she needs to be more tactful with what she says. Then let the whole thing blow over.
Last edited by Extra Ordinary at Feb 6, 2014,
#18
1. Your parents overreacted. Tell them the chillax and respect her beliefs.
2. Explain to your sister that from your parents' point of view, God doesn't exist. Explain how your parents had to hear their beloved child say "I love something that doesn't exist more than you." Explain how, despite her personal beliefs, that warrants an apology.
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LET'S GO BUCKS
Last edited by AeroRocker at Feb 6, 2014,
#19
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE

I overhear all of this and despite the fact that what my parents have said to her is perfectly understandable, I cannot help but sympathise with my sister. It is absolutely 100% her fault for saying what she said, but I know that in the mindset she has, I know that she isn't deliberately trying to sound ungrateful. It is in her own beliefs that if rifts occur in family members because of differing beliefs, then so be it.
First off, your family's reaction is absolutely 100% not her fault. She did not decide how your family would react. She held a conviction and admitted to it.

Second thing, there's not much you can do besides stick with her. I think it is awfully low of your family to call her ungrateful and be rejecting. There is no moral absolute whereby one should always pledge allegiance to their blood relatives. In some instances, a person may want to do just the opposite. Everyone makes choices, and has beliefs, and hers puts "God" or religion or however you want to phrase it first. I think practically, all this means is she would rather miss a Sunday breakfast with the family and go to church. She isn't turning her back and being ungrateful. Just be accepting of her. If you really wish she would put you first, give her the unconditional love and support she is looking for elsewhere. Not much else you can do. We all, to an extent put certain things ahead of family at one time or another.

This is also, the same advice I gave for basically the exact opposite scenario in a family situation and it seemed to go over well.
#20
Quote by the bartender
Your parents are assholes for raising a shitstorm over this

I know. I understand why they might be angry given their own lack of faith, but they have no right to slander her the way they did. It's a pretty big incentive for me to want to help her.
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#21
on topic though, tell your parents to grow up.

your sister hasn't done anything wrong. It must suck being second to something you don't believe exists, but if she's willing to put it ahead of her family it clearly shows how passionate she is about it and that you should support her...as long as she doesn't get fanatical about it though. If she tries to take you to a mountain for slaughter in the name of god, you can tell her it's gone too far. But simply holding something she believes will grant her everlasting peace and happyness beyond death above her family? anyone with the maturity of a 10 year old would be understanding
It's over simplified, So what!

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#22
Quote by AeroRocker
Explain how, despite her personal beliefs, that warrants an apology.

I disagree.

I don't think she has to apologize for anything. I think her parents just need to realize the difference in opinions and get some Prep H for any residual butt hurt.
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#23
Quote by AeroRocker
1. Your parents overreacted. Tell them the chillax and respect her beliefs.
2. Explain to your sister that from your parents' point of view, God doesn't exist. Explain how your parents had to hear the beloved child say "I love something that doesn't exist more than you." Explain how, despite her personal beliefs, that warrants an apology.


this is solid advice

Could always show her this thread too

It'd either give her a laugh or a mad panic attack.
ayy lmao
#24
Quote by AeroRocker
Explain how, despite her personal beliefs, that warrants an apology.


No it doesn't
#26
Perhaps you should all try to treat each other like family rather than like ideological enemies.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#27
tell your sister that there's a difference between compromising your own beliefs and being considerate
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#28
Quote by eGraham
I disagree.

I don't think she has to apologize for anything. I think her parents just need to realize the difference in opinions and get some Prep H for any residual butt hurt.

She can believe whatever she wants. But I don't think it's necessary to tell your atheist parents how worthless they are compared to your god. There's no reason to generate that terrible dynamic (and likewise for the parents).
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#29
Quote by bifteksupernova
How old is she?

I'm not asking to be an arse. It actually matters. If she's ten then your parents are dickish, but if she's twenty then she could've been a bit more subtle.

She's 24.

Hence why I knew from knowing my family and their attitude towards such things, she could've been clever to know that such an event was going to happen.
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Last edited by T00DEEPBLUE at Feb 6, 2014,
#31
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Second thing, there's not much you can do besides stick with her. I think it is awfully low of your family to call her ungrateful and be rejecting. There is no moral absolute whereby one should always pledge allegiance to their blood relatives. In some instances, a person may want to d
ok I know this is a slight tangent but bold is incredibly incredibly important. I see so many people turn a blind eye to family members doing/saying utterly terrible things just because "blood is thicker than water" (which is a misquote, anyway).

and the other stuff about tactfulness. Sugar-coating and caveats.
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#32
Quote by AeroRocker
1. Your parents overreacted. Tell them the chillax and respect her beliefs.
Doubt that would go anywhere
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.
#33
Oh by the way, what your parents said isn't reasonable. It's stupid, selfish, and close-minded. No one in their right mind would think that a Christian would put anyone before God.
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#35
Quote by T00DEEPBLUE
She's 24.

You'd think by 24 you could be a little more sensitive about something like that. At the same time, your parents could've done the same.
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#36
Quote by AeroRocker
She can believe whatever she wants. But I don't think it's necessary to tell your atheist parents how worthless they are compared to your god. There's no reason to generate that terrible dynamic (and likewise for the parents).

But to a true Christian, God really is regarded as higher than parents. I'm not going to say that that's easy for me to relate to as an agnostic, but it's true.

And even though it may not be good for their relationship, I don't think anyone should ever have to apologize for believing or not believing in a higher power.

It's an unfortunate situation, for sure. But block-headed atheists are just as bad as block-headed theists.
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#37
Quote by caeser1156
Oh by the way, what your parents said isn't reasonable. It's stupid, selfish, and close-minded. No one in their right mind would think that a Christian would put anyone before God.

But given their own disposition and their perspective after all the hard things my family has done for her, I can understand their anger.

It doesn't make it right to scream their heads off at her, but I can understand why they would overreact.
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#38
Quote by bifteksupernova
You'd think by 24 you could be a little more sensitive about something like that. At the same time, your parents could've done the same.
Adults are just oversized children

Not making fun of the OP's relatives in particular, though
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.
#39
You and your family need to stop being ignorant and accept that people have beliefs that differ.

For a Christian, God is the most important thing. That's their fundamental belief. That doesn't take away the importance of family though. Calling her ungrateful shows a complete unwillingness to accept the things that she believes and that's a bloody awful thing to do to a family member, or anyone for that matter.
#40
Quote by tim_mop
You and your family need to stop being ignorant and accept that people have beliefs that differ.

>Implying that I am ignorant as to what her beliefs entail

Having an understanding as to why everyone reacted the way they did isn't exactly ignorance.
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