#1
Hey, forum people

I have been posting a lot in this forum lately and I have a problem/question.

I have just managed to form a sort of full band.(We're missing a bassist). And, I'm really not sure how to word this. Here it goes.

My brother, the other guitarist is a complete ass. He just wants to solo all the time, even when someone else is soloing. I keep on telling him it sounds like crap but he just doesn't want to hear it. He basically thinks he is the lead guitarists in the band when me and my other friend have agreed that, while I'm the lead guitarists, everyone still gets a solo here and there.

He also keeps rejecting my song ideas. Every ****ing one of them. I'm not a terrific writer but I do write here and there. Out of a total of four songs these were his responses

"What are you? A country singer" to a ballad-y type thing.
"This just sucks. It's horrible." to a couple of songs I wrote after a teacher pissed me off in school.
We agreed that he is the primary songwriter but everyone still gets some input.

Just a few minutes ago, this is what he said to me.

"I can't wait for the day you leave this band." Twice.
It's frustrating to see bands like Poison, Bon Jovi, Aerosmith all get along so ****ing well while I'm stuck in this shithole.

What should I do? Should I quit? I have 2 other potential bands that I could join. I have contemplated leaving but I put in a ****load of effort to get this thing moving. Advertising, recruiting, creating logos, recording a few covers, getting gigs, jam studios. If I quit, it would all go to waste.

Song/riff/solo writing has also become a chore. I just jam and come up with stuff. He wants me to sit with the guitar and write riffs. That's it. It's like a ****ing job.

Every damn thing out of his mouth is criticism. Not the constructive kind. No. 1 is "Your tone sucks". I like my tone.

What should I do? Quit this band and find another or just fire him? Thanks for any help. Sorry for rambling.

Tone examples.

https://soundcloud.com/darren-ram/sweet-child-o-mine-2
#2
1) How old is your brother? He sounds real mature.

2) What do the other band members think of him? If his input is not widely appreciated then kick him out but maybe try to have a civil conversation about his behaviour beforehand so you don't seem like a dick.

If you have other and better options then leave as this doesn't seem worth getting frustrated over.
#4
Quote by Ignore
you kick him out or leave


This.
Also, how old are you both?
#5
Quote by darrenram1
Hey, forum people


"I can't wait for the day you leave this band." Twice.
It's frustrating to see bands like Poison, Bon Jovi, Aerosmith all get along so ****ing well while I'm stuck in this shithole.


Don't believe what you see. Successful bands don't always get along. In fact, except for Joe Perry and Steven Tyler, Aerosmith barely talks when they aren't working.

Get rid of him. There are too many guitar players out there to put up with that from one.
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#6
Quote by darrenram1


My brother, the other guitarist is a complete ass. He just wants to solo all the time, even when someone else is soloing. I keep on telling him it sounds like crap but he just doesn't want to hear it. He basically thinks he is the lead guitarists in the band when me and my other friend have agreed that, while I'm the lead guitarists, everyone still gets a solo here and there.


Ego, no easy way to get around that. However, shouldn't the whole band be making decisions, not just you and your friend?

Quote by darrenram1

He also keeps rejecting my song ideas. Every ****ing one of them. I'm not a terrific writer but I do write here and there.


Constructive criticism would be a more mature way of discussing your music. However we can't hear these ideas, maybe they are bad.

Quote by darrenram1

"I can't wait for the day you leave this band." Twice.
It's frustrating to see bands like Poison, Bon Jovi, Aerosmith all get along so ****ing well while I'm stuck in this shithole.


Ego, again. He doesn't know what goes on behind the scenes in any band. So he can STFU

Quote by darrenram1

What should I do? Should I quit? I have 2 other potential bands that I could join. I have contemplated leaving but I put in a ****load of effort to get this thing moving. Advertising, recruiting, creating logos, recording a few covers, getting gigs, jam studios. If I quit, it would all go to waste.


A real waste of time would be spending anymore time on this project. Always put your best efforts into a project, but knowing when to cut your losses is a skill you must learn.

Quote by darrenram1

Song/riff/solo writing has also become a chore. I just jam and come up with stuff. He wants me to sit with the guitar and write riffs. That's it. It's like a ****ing job.


I get what you mean, but depending on your goals for the band (do you guys have any of those?) it could very well turn out to be a job!

Quote by darrenram1

Every damn thing out of his mouth is criticism. Not the constructive kind. No. 1 is "Your tone sucks". I like my tone.


Somebody who cannot criticise constructively in a band situation is not going to do themselves any favours. He should give tips on improving your tone, if he knows what your tone is lacking. You like your tone, but does it work in the context of the band?

Quote by darrenram1

What should I do? Quit this band and find another or just fire him? Thanks for any help. Sorry for rambling.


He is your brother. Now you could give thousands of examples of bands that work with siblings in them, but my main rule is no family, no friends. Find some band members who you can get to know while forming a band, then the relationships are fresh and you'll have less baggage to start off with.

So yeah, get out and start again.
#7
Quote by Myshadow46_2
I get what you mean, but depending on your goals for the band (do you guys have any of those?) it could very well turn out to be a job!


Our short term goals at the moment is just get a few gigs, maybe record a demo and play battle of the bands.


He should give tips on improving your tone, if he knows what your tone is lacking. You like your tone, but does it work in the context of the band?


We play 80's hard rock/ hair metal. Eg Bon Jovi, GNR, Aerosmith. So my tone is the processed tone with quite a few effects. I posted a soundcloud link in the OP.



but my main rule is no family, no friends. Find some band members who you can get to know while forming a band, then the relationships are fresh and you'll have less baggage to start off with.

So yeah, get out and start again.


It's quite difficult finding guys my age playing the music we play. I posted some ads and half the replies were from 40 year olds. I'm 16.
#8
To be honest, your tone wasn't that great. Also pay attention to playing accurately.

But yeah, if you don't even have a bassist, leave the band. Or maybe start a new band without your brother. How many songs do you have? How many members are there in your band? Your band will never work, unless you leave or kick your brother.
Quote by AlanHB
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