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#1
Whats the worst date you have been on?
I really f***ed up a date tonight. So my dorm was empty earlier so i decided to walk around in my boxers (they are long enough so why not) and i bumped into my hot neighbor. So i managed to turn the very awkward encounter into a casual date night.

So i put on some pants and waited for her and she comes out wearing a very nice dress, and the date pretty much immediately goes downhill. I could tell she wasnt wowed by my The Smiths shirt and denims, the food was shitty (last minute reservations i suppose) and to top it off, all the typical V-Day movies were sold out and me and my date watched The Lego Movie.

So we got back to the dorm and we said good night, she offered a game of mario kart but i declined and apologized for the shit night and bid her adieu. She looked a bit more disappointed and she closed the door.

I plan on trying to talk to her tomorrow. So what are some of your bad date stories? Let me know!
#2
this wouldnt happen if you had a waifu like i have

There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#4
mario kart = sex. Jesus its just like george and the coffee
Listen. I'm sorry.
#6
Quote by vilk
mario kart = sex. Jesus its just like george and the coffee

i have mario kart tournaments in my room pretty much every weekend and it never ended in an orgy
#7
not really a "date" in the traditional sense but still worthy of a mention


Quote by MinterMan22
back in high school i used to hook up with this girl but i never actually had sex with her, just kissing and oral and stuff. one day during lunchtime she invited me to her place after class and said that she'd be home alone. i was pretty much convinced that she wanted to have sex with me so the rest of the school day i was feeling all hot and didn't bother to get my jacket or my boots outta my locker and met up with her as soon as i could.. it was one of those god-awful slushy days where all the snow melts and turns the roads into rivers and freezing rain was falling from the sky..

by the time i got to her place i was soaked and frozen and shivering all over the place.. we go into her room and she tells me to take off all of my wet clothes and starts cuddling me under her blanket. i was practically naked and i guess i got a boner or something cause she started rubbing me down there. i don't really remember what i said but i guess it was something suave cause she got naked too and hopped on top of me. we started kissing and then i licked her boob but then she stopped me. i asked why and she said "i can't do this".. i wasn't about to force myself on her cause i'm way too passive for that but she started making out with me again and said "you're like a brother to me" in between kisses. i had no idea what to do cause every time i tried to touch her she'd pull away and say something like "i don't wanna lose you".. eventually she stopped and started crying so i hugged her and had to sit on her bed with her awkwardly in the nude while i waited for my clothes to dry. that was pretty weird lol.




#8
Quote by MinterMan22
not really a "date" in the traditional sense but still worthy of a mention

It must have been crazy awkward after all that. It reminds me of one of my exes, i was fingering her while we made out and she stopped me for a bit and said "you remind me of my dad", but i took one for the team
#10
Quote by Ablast
i have mario kart tournaments in my room pretty much every weekend and it never ended in an orgy

Dude, you go on a date with a girl and then she makes an excuse to get alone with you you ****ING do it you rtard!!!!

I'm not going to lie. I remember when I was a freshman in college, and actually I can recall specifically once where I did a very similar thing to your dumb ass, and then years later on when I was talking with this same girl she even told me straight up "I was trying to sleep with you. And I really could not figure out why you weren't going along with it".

C'mon, it make sense. How bad do you really think she was jonesin for some kart? She looked more disappointed when you declined? I tell you what it sounds like you know what's going on just as well as we all do and you backed down because you're scared of getting laid. Don't be a chicken man, show that girl's pussy what's up! Do it for the memory of my lame freshman ass who didn't know when girls wanted to ****!
Listen. I'm sorry.
#11
Quote by vilk
Dude, you go on a date with a girl and then she makes an excuse to get alone with you you ****ING do it you rtard!!!!

I'm not going to lie. I remember when I was a freshman in college, and actually I can recall specifically once where I did a very similar thing to your dumb ass, and then years later on when I was talking with this same girl she even told me straight up "I was trying to sleep with you. And I really could not figure out why you weren't going along with it".

C'mon, it make sense. How bad do you really think she was jonesin for some kart? She looked more disappointed when you declined? I tell you what it sounds like you know what's going on just as well as we all do and you backed down because you're scared of getting laid. Don't be a chicken man, show that girl's pussy what's up! Do it for the memory of my lame freshman ass who didn't know when girls wanted to ****!

Just saying, shes really good at mario kart, she goes through rainbow road like nothing- always first. I will pick up my balls and try again, for all the george castanzas
#12
Quote by Ablast
Just saying, shes really good at mario kart, she goes through rainbow road like nothing- always first. I will pick up my balls and try again, for all the george castanzas



You gotta go for the big short cut though. Atleast on the first lap, figure out where everyone is then decide if you should makd the leap after the first lap.
#13
Quote by Ablast
Just saying, shes really good at mario kart, she goes through rainbow road like nothing- always first. I will pick up my balls and try again, for all the george castanzas

Yeah bro, people don't always just say "Hey, lets go someplace private and get busy". Girls like to say/hear something less forward. Ones I have personally used:
watch a movie
listen to [some music I had referenced earlier in the date]
smoke weed
have a drink (for this very reason it is always a good idea to keep drinks that girls like in your room at all times)
warm up/cool off (outside date)
show you my room
introduce you to my roommate (who wasn't home)

It all means sex if it's after a date. Sometimes even if it's not. And girls know that. Especially girls in college.
Listen. I'm sorry.
Last edited by vilk at Feb 15, 2014,
#14
Quote by Ablast
Whats the worst date you have been on?
I really f***ed up a date tonight. So my dorm was empty earlier so i decided to walk around in my boxers (they are long enough so why not) and i bumped into my hot neighbor. So i managed to turn the very awkward encounter into a casual date night.

So i put on some pants and waited for her and she comes out wearing a very nice dress, and the date pretty much immediately goes downhill. I could tell she wasnt wowed by my The Smiths shirt and denims, the food was shitty (last minute reservations i suppose) and to top it off, all the typical V-Day movies were sold out and me and my date watched The Lego Movie.

So we got back to the dorm and we said good night, she offered a game of mario kart but i declined and apologized for the shit night and bid her adieu. She looked a bit more disappointed and she closed the door.

I plan on trying to talk to her tomorrow. So what are some of your bad date stories? Let me know!



You are on the road to becoming a real life "40 year old virgin".
And you deserve it.


Quote by Ablast
i have mario kart tournaments in my room pretty much every weekend and it never ended in an orgy


Do you need a fucking house to fall on you?
A tournament/sausage fest is WAY different than going in HER ROOM ALONE to play mario kart.
#15
Quote by Ablast
I could tell she wasnt wowed by my The Smiths shirt and denims..

Why would she be wowed by that?
#16
Quote by Joshua Garcia
this wouldnt happen if you had a waifu like i have



I wonder how many different fetishes this pic combines
Quote by Telecaster7
Oh dear, current affairs...
#17
Quote by CrazyMatt
I wonder how many different fetishes this pic combines
you wouldnt even believe.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#21
Quote by Ablast
she offered a game of mario kart but i declined

ya dunced it

Quote by emad
jthm_guitarist
Warned for trolling!


Quote by metal4eva_22
Didn't you say that you had a stuffed fox that you would occasionally fuck?

Quote by Axelfox
It's not a fox,it's a wolf.
#22
Man, you are completely clueless. She wanted the D, you're just too insecure to see it. That Smiths shirt is to blame. I love the Smiths but the last thing you want is Morrissey's self loathing seeping into your conscience when you're trying to get laid.
#25
I went on one where I was busting for a shit. So i went, she clearly knew I went for a shit because I was gone for so long. Cue awkwardness on her part, I was just glad I didn't shit myself.
#26
the first 3 posts are golden
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#27
we agreed that mcdonalds would be where our date would be, we were both avid fans of discount "beef" and "chicken" and other things that aren't what they say they are. the bus journey to her lasted about 35 minutes, i could even feel the spaghetti in my pockets.
got there. all was going well. i couldn't stomach my mcdonalds so i didn't finish it. we then went for a walk to some park. one thing lead to another and i ended up getting a BJ behind some derelict public toilets. a good 5 minutes into it i saw something pop round the corner, from the corner of my eye. it turns out someone had been filming us on their phone. this was 2 years ago and i still dont know who it was.
there was no second date.
DIMETHYLTRYPTAMINE
lol
#28
Ok it sounds like the date went bad because of your way of viewing things. First off, The Lego Movie is actually a good movie. You should be happy she said yes to do that.

Second you declined a game of Mario Kart SHE OFFERED....WTF is wrong with you? That's my soul mate right there.
#30
she catches you in ur underwear, you get a date with her... she invites you in her room and you decline. the whole "mario kart" context is irrelevent... SHE INVITED YOU IN.
I should come over and kick ur ass TS...
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#31
First of all, why were you wearing a T-shirt and jeans on a date? Also, she invited you in. Always except any excuse to come in.
#32
And on top of all this she was wearing a very nice dress according to yourself, it sounds like she was definitely making an effort to look nice and impress you.
#33
Sounds like it went pretty well, but you shouldn't have declined the invite to go to hers.

Yah, 'mario kart'.
signature
#34
One time i went on a date with a girl whom i quite enjoyed being in the presence of. We did whatever, walked around the city, eventually ended up back at my dorm where we hung out, listened to Volumes and LetLive and eventually parted ways when she had to leave for work (backshift). Didn't even get it in.


Now she's my girlfriend, has been for almost 2 years, and i get to f*** her every other day.

There's still hope, friend.
#35
Quote by octopig
Now she's my girlfriend, has been for almost 2 years, and i get to f*** her every other day.
I wonder who she bangs on her days off.
#36
Well i got her coffee this morning and yea she said she was prepared for penis last night. But we are going out again later this week! Salvation.
#37
Anyways there is nothing wrong with The Lego Movie, it is awesome. She said next time she'd plan the date out and it would work out better, and she wagered on it.
#38
Quote by Ablast
Anyways there is nothing wrong with The Lego Movie, it is awesome. She said next time she'd plan the date out and it would work out better, and she wagered on it.

Dat emasculation.
#39
Quote by Ablast
Well i got her coffee this morning and yea she said she was prepared for penis last night. But we are going out again later this week! Salvation.
ohmygod vilk was right!
Good job bro. With this, you'll become a man.

Quote by Ablast
Anyways there is nothing wrong with The Lego Movie, it is awesome. She said next time she'd plan the date out and it would work out better, and she wagered on it.
Or maybe not.
There's nothing left here to be saved
Just barreling dogs and barking trains
Another year lost to the blue line
#40
i got back with my ex early last year and we went out to eat. but it was the first time we had actually seen each other in a while so it was a ton of awkward silence. however, i found the awkward situation hilarious so it was basically us sitting at a table while she stared at me with a weird look, and i was borderline in tears from laughing

but when we got back to my place we played the walking dead so it was aight i suppose
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