MaggaraMarine
Slapping the bass.
Join date: Oct 2009
3,469 IQ
#1
https://soundcloud.com/jaakkorauhamaa/im-here-im-now

I wrote this song with my friend (JazzAzz). The lyrics are the first "serious" lyrics I have written. They are about the feeling I had a couple of months ago. I can't waste my life living in my memories and worrying about the future all the time. This is the only moment and we should live here and now, not in the past or in the future. Things that I have done can't be changed so why worry about them? Life goes on so why regret the stupid things I have done many years ago? Do they really matter? We should just enjoy the moment and live our lives. The song is also about how strange it is that time goes by all the time. It's about the strange feeling of existing. Why am I here? These were the feelings I had when I wrote the lyrics.

All instruments and vocals recorded (bass, guitar)/programmed (piano, drums) by me.

And yeah, C4C.
Quote by AlanHB
Just remember that there are no boring scales, just boring players.

Gear

Charvel So Cal
Ibanez BL70
Yamaha FG720S-12
Tokai TB48
Laney VC30
Hartke HyDrive 210c
Bach Stradivarius
Yamaha P115
aaron aardvark
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2010
5,077 IQ
#2
MaggaraMarine,
Thank you for the reviews, now your tune: that repeating piano note/chord: I don't know if it represents tension in your life, though it does get rather repetitive. It was a relief when it stopped. I suggest more variety on that piano sequence. At around 2:40, and onward, for a while, the piano was way more enjoyable for me (quite good then). The repeating piano note/chord returned at the end, but it was only for a few seconds, so it was OK at that point. The overall audio quality was good. Singing is a little pitchy, but otherwise OK. Drums are fine. I like the guitar riffs and guitar playing, my favorite part of the song. Rock on! If you want to discuss the meaning of life, send me a private message.
Bleak
I Don't Even...
Join date: May 2005
285 IQ
#3
Thanks for the crit, m'friend!

So I would have to agree that the note being repeated over and over for so long gets pretty irritating, maybe try to put some humanization into it so it's not always the same level? That might do a good bit for it. Really enjoy the guitar work, sounds really good, the best part of the song for me. The vocals are good, just a bit pitchy like was said before. Lyrically I love the song, for a long time when I was younger, I was living in the past and hating every second of my life. Things change only when you want them to change and they can only change in the here and now. All in all, I really enjoyed the song, something I would download and throw onto my phone for a nice driving adventure.

Cheers, m'friend!
Quote by mangablade
If star wars had a Heavy Metal band (no not "Vader" lol), then you would be it. You sound like a anrgy mother****ing Yoda.


I sound like an angry Yoda...is that a good thing...or a bad thing? lol
Harlot Hero
Mr. User-Friendly
Join date: Jun 2009
911 IQ
#4
I don't particularly fancy the piano in the beginning as it's just way too repetitive to me; maybe some more reverb and melody in the piano section could flesh out the track more. I get what you're trying to do and it's a good idea, but could be executed much smoother. A second guitar could bring out the song's potential much more than just the single guitar track panned to the side. I love the uplifting feel in the lyrics towards the end. Your lyric-work is like a story playing itself out.

If you don't have a second guitar, bring in some stereo-panning to that one guitar track for a larger sound in general. The drums are good for the genre, but they sound a bit too dry too me (just a little bit). The vocals themselves could be sung better, as you are flat here and there. I feel like you held back quite a bit when you recorded the vocals. Love the song idea, but it does need more work. Good quality track. The bass isn't very present in the song to me. It's noticeable, but doesn't provide the sort of hook I was expecting from this song. Spice it up a little and have some fun. I do hear quite a bit of potential. Gave you a follow on SC.

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1635370
MaggaraMarine
Slapping the bass.
Join date: Oct 2009
3,469 IQ
#5
Thanks for the feedback.

I see many getting annoyed by the piano. And I think the problem is not in the piano line, it's in the bad programming. It would sound better on a real piano. Also, people complain about my vocals. Yeah, I know I'm not that great at singing and I didn't really bother recording the perfect take. It's just a demo of the song, not something meant to be played in the radio yet. If we're going to record it professionally, the sound qulaity will definitely be a lot better. So it's just a demo and not meant to sound perfect.
Quote by AlanHB
Just remember that there are no boring scales, just boring players.

Gear

Charvel So Cal
Ibanez BL70
Yamaha FG720S-12
Tokai TB48
Laney VC30
Hartke HyDrive 210c
Bach Stradivarius
Yamaha P115
Jehannum
Bant
Join date: Feb 2011
2,442 IQ
#6
Quote by MaggaraMarine
Thanks for the feedback.

I see many getting annoyed by the piano. And I think the problem is not in the piano line, it's in the bad programming. It would sound better on a real piano. Also, people complain about my vocals. Yeah, I know I'm not that great at singing and I didn't really bother recording the perfect take. It's just a demo of the song, not something meant to be played in the radio yet. If we're going to record it professionally, the sound qulaity will definitely be a lot better. So it's just a demo and not meant to sound perfect.


The piano note might be better mixed lower and with slow phasing to get a kind of Baba O'Riley thing going.
XxDarkhybridxX
"Xx" means I'm cool, ryt?
Join date: Dec 2009
142 IQ
#7
It's got a nice rhythm to it. This is the kind of song I'd definitely listen to. I think the instruments could've been more tightly panned though. Awesome guitar and bass parts. And the piano gave it some nice color. And although they're alright, the drums could use more work.

The vocals seemed to lack the kind of punch that song needed. You need more conviction in your voice to sing lyrics like that. When it sounds like it was sung half-heartedly, the lyrics become a bit cliche. You can sing about pretty much anything and make it good so long as your voice sounds convincing.

Keep working on the song, man. It's definitely got potential.

Check out my song too!
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1636368
Last edited by XxDarkhybridxX at Mar 7, 2014,
relowe
Registered User
Join date: Mar 2013
132 IQ
#9
Hey man,

I like the staccato at the beginning- you don't know what's going to happen, and the interplay with the bass and guitar is great.

The break at 2:11 is a nice way to ensure the initial melody doesn't wear out its welcome. The whole outro is very cool, with those Everlong-esque drums carrying the build up.

I think the production is very clean, but to that point it could perhaps be "dirtied" a bit with some overdrive on the bass. Great guitar playing

Others touched on the opportunities on the vocals; I'm not a vocalist so I can't help much, but note-wise I didn't hear too many missed opportunities.
owen556
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2011
631 IQ
#10
Hey man,

This song has a long buildup to the vocals that come in. Some of the tones could be cleaner but for the most part they work well and I can almost hear some vocal influences. I like the guitar lines but I feel like I've definetly heard this song before. The piano adds some depth but not as much since its kept simple. PErhaps more action in the drums could help get the intensity going. I like the guitar solo and the slight delay on it is nice. I really like how there are piano chords over it. This section is extremely well done. The bass sounds good and i love when the drums kick up a bit. Overall this came out pretty good! I like what I hear!

C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1656363