#1
When your parents have retired and have aged to the point that they need some or a lot of assistance, whether just housekeeping or medical attention, how will you handle it?

Will you enroll them in a retirement facility, pay for their household bills and medical assistance or have them live with you?

There is a lot to consider: your spouse (if you have one), whose parents are living with you, financial capability, relationships. I can understand how living with older parents of either spouse can be stressful but what about the benefits? They can help out somehow with housework or childcare as with a lot of families nowadays.

I was surprised when I came to the US that there were things such as retirement homes where they leave their folks in their old age. In Philippines, our grandparents lived by themselves or with their living siblings (otherwise, they would've died young and still able-bodies like most of my grandparents). It was common practice in the cities to have grandparents live with us.

In my own situation, my parents have made it clear that they don't expect us to invite them to live with us in their old age. In fact, they have planned to move back to Philippines and retire there (as far away as possible from us lol >_<. But you never know, right?

And that made me think of my own old age. I don't plan to have children and even if I did, I would not want to live with them. So I'm pretty much stuck to living on my own or with my spouse, or in a retirement home which seems like a lonely and sad way to live out the last years of your life.

What do you think?
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Last edited by kikaykitko at Feb 24, 2014,
#3
Hopefully my parents maintain their physical and mental abilities, and can continue living on their own and doing what they want.
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#5
My parents have bought a house in an elderly-friendly neighborhood where my dad grew up and plan to retire there. If either of them require daily medical assistance they will hire a live-in nurse. So I don't have to do much here since they've pretty much taken care of everything, but I will definitely visit them/provide emotional and financial support whenever I can.

Retirement homes have their benefits but my parents would rather not live in one. I'm too young to think about such things for myself.
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#6
Quote by Dreadnought
Hopefully my parents maintain their physical and mental abilities, and can continue living on their own and doing what they want.

Yep. My parents are already retired, but they make sure that they're always in shape and stuff. My dad trains for marathons regularly and whatnot, and both their parents are still really healthy despite being in their 80's. So I imagine my parents will be alright.

If not, put them into a nice old people home or whatever
#7
I'll do whatever I can in order to prevent/delay them from losing enriching parts of their life. I don't like how people seem to show disrespect towards their elderly parents or just throw them in a home.

It's not just a matter of "maintaining their physical and mental abilities" where I live. That's a really naive way of looking at the situation. The weather makes a lot of things we see as trivial to be a pretty big deal when you are old (which is why so many people just flee to Florida for half the year).

My mum does a lot to look after my nan and allow her to keep her independence now that she is getting near her 90s. I try to help out when I can as well. I would be a pretty shitty son if I didn't do my best to do the same when my mom gets near that age.
#8
Quote by Thrashtastic15
It's not just a matter of "maintaining their physical and mental abilities" where I live. That's a really naive way of looking at the situation.




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#9
My parents were both alert and active until they passed. We did have to take the car keys away from my dad though.
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#10
I couldn't put them in a retirement home. Especially because my grandparents on my mom's side had really bad experiences in homes, so they don't have a good idea of them. I'd probably either live with them or live very close to them. I could only put them in a home if they got in really bad mental health and I just wasn't qualified to help them. I'd imagine my siblings and I would help with pay and all that.
#11
Quote by Thrashtastic15
I'll do whatever I can in order to prevent/delay them from losing enriching parts of their life. I don't like how people seem to show disrespect towards their elderly parents or just throw them in a home.

Yea, I find it really depressing.
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#12
My mum, aunt and a lot of their friends work or worked in caring for the elderly and they're all amazing so I'd put my mum in a home I think since I know there are great carers out there.

Plus she has a lot of mental health issues I couldn't begin to help her with so she'll probably be in a home out of necessity
#13
Quote by willT08
My mum, aunt and a lot of their friends work or worked in caring for the elderly and they're all amazing so I'd put my mum in a home I think since I know there are great carers out there.

Plus she has a lot of mental health issues I couldn't begin to help her with so she'll probably be in a home out of necessity

Great for your mom, aunt and their friends. It feels like all I hear are horror stories from senior homes. My parents worked with nurses who worked in places like that and they said the people there are miserable. Not just the seniors who no one visits, but also the caregivers who really just don't care. Then you hear about these seniors getting strange injuries which really are just signs of neglect.

I can't imagine putting my folks in one.
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#14
Quote by kikaykitko
Great for your mom, aunt and their friends. It feels like all I hear are horror stories from senior homes. My parents worked with nurses who worked in places like that and they said the people there are miserable. Not just the seniors who no one visits, but also the caregivers who really just don't care. Then you hear about these seniors getting strange injuries which really are just signs of neglect.

I can't imagine putting my folks in one.

After my mom died we moved our father into an assisted living facility. Big difference between that and a nursing home scenario.
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