#2
Sounds like you've got 3 different songs in one song. The fast intro is like early SYL, pretty br00tz, but then it abruptly changes to a SOAD-like riff, then at bar 38 to like, random prog-shred.

I think the biggest criticisms are that bar 97 to 98 has absolutely no transition where it desperately needs one, and the complete change at 106 is just plain bad.
o()o

Quote by JamSessionFreak
yes every night of my entire life i go to bed crying because i wasnt born american
#3
Trying to find a way to finally complete a song. Have bazillions of riffs, but can't seem to find a full song. Thank you, though. I like what I had done but you did open my eyes quite a bit. Though I must explain that the transition at 106 is partly in due to laziness. Though the sudden upbeat tempo change seemed like a good idea to me.

This song was written all in one go, section after section. Didn't tap into other written stuff. Thanks again, bud.

I think I'm going to start over with the intro part. Though, where exactly would you say is best to deviate? I'm thinking Bar 25, just before the "SOAD" part. Though, I'd honestly say it feels more Fear Factory to me. lol.

Added an extension of the beginning of the song in the OP. v-v-v-v-v I dunno...
Attachments:
NWIP6.gp5
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
Last edited by DragTheWaters11 at Feb 24, 2014,
#6
Needs a more of story. It has nothing to say about itself, its just a bunch of riffs and notes in a scale.
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#7
Quote by Rokkstar
Listen to this at 1:53. Then slow your BPM to 130 and play at measure 5...

And you've probably never listened to the song I linked before, huh? lol.

Small world, aye?

Yeah, I haven't haha. Hey, shit happens. I think I like my idea just a weeeeeee bit better.

@ Skylight, thanks!

@ Drapte, I agree.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God