#1
What did the traffic lights say to the car? Don't look i'm changing.

Car jokes are WHEELY bad... They DRIVE me crazy...

Why can’t watermelons have kids… Because they cantaloupe

Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: "I’ll take a
beer, and one for the road."

Why did the elephant get kicked out of the pool because he kept dropping his trunks.

Your turn
#2
TS' mum

hAHHAHAHAhahAHahahAhahahA

get it cause she's stupid and a joke

HAhhahahahAHhAhAHhAHAhahHAHAHhA


also just this thread in general
#3
This thread

hAHHAHAHAhahAHahahAhahahA

^oh **** your ninja edit
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#5
Quote by Trowzaa
This thread

hAHHAHAHAhahAHahahAhahahA

^oh **** your ninja edit
hhHAhahHAHHAhhHAhaHAHHAhahHAhAHhAHAH

AHhaH
#6
Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says "blub blub blub" because fish can't speak.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#7
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To put out forest fires.
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To put out burning ducks.
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

Quote by Axelfox
Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

Quote by Xiaoxi
I can fap to this. Keep going.
#8
Now? A joke? Uh... um, uh... A joke. Yeah, alright. Um... There's these, uh, three guys, uh... a-a-a-a spic, a-a-a-a white guy and a black guy.

******.

Yeah, n-n- Yeah. And-and they walk along the beach, they see this pot, they rub it, genie comes out. Genie says, you know, "You wish for anything you want." So, he asks, uh-uh, Mexican what-what he wants, and he goes, uh, uh, "I want, uh, all my people in America to be happy and free and in Mexico." And so, genie - Poof! And, all the spics are in Mexico. And then he asks the black guy...

******.

Yeah, that's what I said. Goes to the, uh- uh, ******, says, uh, "What do you want?" And he goes, um, uh, "I want all my African- my ****** brothers in America to be back in Africa and-and happy and everything." You know? So, genie goes poof! And, um, all the ******s in America are in Africa. And, uh, uh, uh, this is go- I'm not funny today. I-I know. I'm havin' a hard day. I-I-I- This joke sucks. It's-it's-it's a stupid joke.

So the genie says to the white guy, uh, um, "What's your one wish?" And the white guy goes, "You mean to tell me all the ******s and spics are out of America?" Genie goes, "Yeah." He says, "Well, um, I'll have a Coke, then."
STಠ_ಠ
#12
Quote by Baby Joel
Also this joke is genuinely amazing


All that setup for a ****ing spoonerism though.
dirtbag ballet by the bins down the alley
as i walk through the chalet of the shadow of death
everything that you've come to expect


#13
Knock knock

whos there

you, pounding on the inside of a coffin struggling to receive your last breaths as you slowly, but surly die in agony
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#14
A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "hey horse, why the long face?"

Later a bear walked into the bar and takes a seat and says, "I'll have..... A beer." and the bartender says, "hey bear, why the big paws?"
Last.fm So you can make fun of my taste in music
Youtube So you can make fun of my videos
#16
Two men walk into a bar, and it's a gay bar.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#17
a skeleton walks into a bar, and orders a beer and a mop

i stole this
Quote by archerygenious
Jesus Christ since when is the Pit a ****ing courtroom...

Like melodic, black, death, symphonic, and/or avant-garde metal? Want to collaborate? Message me!
#18
why did the kid drop his ice cream?

because he got hit by a van
Eat your pheasant
Drink your wine
Your days are numbered, bourgeois swine!
#19
So, right in in the center of this medieval village is a grand monastery, a monastery famous throughout the kingdom because the friars there are able to grow fantastic, exotic plants. People come from all over to look at the amazing plants, much to the delight of the innkeepers, victuallers, and everyone else who benefits from the money the pilgrims spend. The town and the monastery prosper, and all is well, until...

One day, one of the children of the town is tragically gobbled up by the monastery's prize possession, a giant, carnivorous flower. The town folk demand that the plant be destroyed, but the monks refuse. Pleading and even threats cannot change their minds.

Finally, the town hires the biggest, meanest, strongest guy in all the land, a muscular blacksmith named Hugh. He not only destroys the plant, but runs the monks out of town.

The moral of the story is:


Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.
Ах, так вы не пьете и не курите?
Хорошо для вас: вы здоровым умрете!
#20
stupid jokes
It's over simplified, So what!

Quote by eGraham
I'm going to be on top of what is called a knob
Quote by theguitarist
Big ones can be fun in some ways but generally, they are a pain in the ass.
Quote by Wolfinator-x
I don't know what is going on in this thread or why I have an erection.
#21
okay so theres these three ducks, and they are all in duck court. the first one comes up to the judge and the judge says "What is your crime"? and the duck replies "I got caught blowing bubbles in the pond". The judge sentences that duck to one year in duck jail. The second duck comes up to the judge and the judge says again "What is your crime?" and the duck says "I was also caught blowing bubbles in the pond". The judge sentences this duck to one year in duck jail as well. Then the third duck approaches the stand and the judges asks once more "What is your crime?" to which the third duck responds "My name is bubbles"
banned
#23
Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." The second one says, "No soap, radio"
#24
Quote by 121155377
@deadsmileyface yours was the best one


Quote by soundgarden1986
Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." The second one says, "No soap, radio"

I don't get it
banned
#26
Quote by Nelshizzle
Knock knock

whos there

you, pounding on the inside of a coffin struggling to receive your last breaths as you slowly, but surly die in agony

Lul, surly.
BOOM-SHAKALAKALAKA-BOOM-SHAKALAKUNGA
#27
Quote by soundgarden1986
Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." The second one says, "No soap, radio"






thread is done now. this is gold
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When they're down is the safest time.

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