#1
A fake smile, a cheerful glee
I’m so happy can’t you see,
See through me, is all I ask
See through my bloody mask

I know I’m guilty for this felony
But this razor is my only remedy
That’s helps me to fade
My only friend, this blade

I wish that you could see
The person behind this mask, me
I wish that you could see through
Then, I'd give up this blade for you

I never had thought
That It would cost me so much
This one act of greed
To make myself bleed

This terrible consuming fright
I feel it throughout every single night
I don’t know what to do
I don’t have a single ****ing clue

Now only if you could see,
The person behind this mask, me
If only you could see through
I’d give up this blade, for you

-If you hate it then that's too bad 'cause no one but you made you click on this.
#2
Something I've noticed is that you almost always use AABB rhymes. They're fine every once in awhile, but you don't want to over use them.
#3
Quote by Aoh legend
Something I've noticed is that you almost always use AABB rhymes. They're fine every once in awhile, but you don't want to over use them.



Yeah, I'm trying to get out of that habit and starting to write in ABCB or ABAB but the two that I posted are ones that I wrote quite a few months ago.
Thanks for the advice!